Tuesday, February 28, 2012

... [33]

Kurniakan ketabahan,
Hadirkan kesabaran.

Andai ini yang terbaik,
Mudahkan hati dan perasaan.

Kalau ada yang  lebih molek,
Titipkan langahku,
Satu persatu,
Kearah itu...

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Aduhai

Bongek betul bila tertidur lepas solat asar (penat giler), dalam mimpi nurse hantar folder patient sambil berkata, tolong cepat sikit, doktor nak tengok. Pantang betul kalau suruh cepat cepat, kerja tak concentrate!

Kemudian, dengar suara mak, heh bangun dah nak maghrib. Terus tanpa rasa bersalah dengan serabut ingat kerja tak sudah.

"Kejap, ada patient lagi,"

Mak pandang dalam, kerut kening, geleng kepala.

"Patient apanye nih maghrib maghrib?

Eh?

Friday, February 24, 2012

Doaku


Ya Allah,
Permudahkanlah urusanku,
Urusan pesakit-pesakitku,
Jika benar mereka tiada masalah pendengaran,
Senangkanlah urusan diagnosisku.
Agar aku tidak menambah kebimbangan yang tidak perlu.


Dan jika benar sekalipun mereka mempunyai masalah pendengaran,
Permudahkanlah jua urusan diagnosisku,
Agar aku dapat membantu,
Dengan segala ilmu kurniaan-MU,


Amin ya rabbal 'alamin.







Sometimes, besides try harder... 
It's the matter of hope and ask..

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Manessssss

Semalam saya tidur awal, makanya saya solat Isyak dalam pukul 5 pagi. Sambil saya tunggu Subuh, saya tertidur atas sejadah. Dan saya mimpi benda sangat manissss! Sangat!

Masa saya terbangun, azan Subuh berkumandang. Saya macam, alahai, tak leh mimpi lama lagi ah?

Masa saya bangun, saya ingat satu satu. Bagusnya mimpi manis ni, sebab saya pergi kerja dengan tersenyum. Saya senyum banyak sangat, sampai patient puji saya, Cik Huda suka senyum kan. Saya nak je cakap, sebab saya mimpi manisssss. 

Namun dah malam ni, saya hanya ingat satu part je. Tsk.





Kan bagus kalau mimpi boleh record.
Dapat tengok ulang kali. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Senyum


Otak kita ni kecik je kan, tapi bila datang serabut, Subhanallah... rasanya kapasiti otak ni besar sangat. Besar sampai rasa nak muntah once teringat!

---

Here, at my workplace... ada sorang doktor pakar mata. There's a lot of stories I heard but who cares? I don't care. Well, just to hear not to take it serious. It's none of my business.

I already make it as my habit to smile regardless my feeling. You know, when we smile, we get smile back. It is very rare (almost none), when we smile from our heart, we get a bad face in return.

Back to this pakar mata. Everytime I meet her (accidentally), I just can smile because I don't think any other else to do. So smile is the best and easy way. Just now, I met her again.

"You always smile, nice,"
"Thank you, prof,"
"I always see you smile. She's got a beautiful smile, hasn't she?"

Nurse mengangguk.

"Janganlah puji. Malu saya,"
"Betul. I cakap benda betul. Orang selalu senyum ni ahli syurga tau. Nabi tak akan mula bercakap kalau tak senyum dulu,"






Amiiiinnnn. But deep down I ask myself; do I have any other choice?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

... [32]









One step closer...








One step closer....

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Memoria

"Huda, can you come to my room kejap?

Dup dap dup dap.

"Sure,"

Slowly following the footsteps.

"This is handsome medical student. Dia buat attachment dekat ENT. Now, for today, he will be with you. I want him to observe hearing assessments for pediatric. Tomorrow I'll ask him and if he can't answer, then jaga you,"

Sengih.

"Insyallah,"
"Now, you'll be following her okay?"

Angguk.

"Come to my room, I'll show you then,"

Out of sudden, aku rindu USM. Kalau budak medik datang, mana ada sorang sorang ni; segerombolan terus. Sekarang, jumpa sorang (once in a while), happy. Rasa zaman belajar balik sekejap. Sekejap pun jadilah. Sehari pun tak apa.

"Awak boleh cakap melayu kan?"
"Boleh,"
"Saya terang dalam bahasa melayu eh? Saya bukan fasih sangat pun,"

Ingat pesan Dr. R; Rendah diri, sabar, buat kerja semua kerana Allah.

"Okay, saya rasa saya dah terang semua. Ada soalan?"
"Erm, bunyi dia macam mana doktor,"
"Saya bukan doktorlah, saya audiologis,"

Senyum.

"Okay, awak jadi patient saya. Saya akan buat semua test, so awak boleh alami dan mudah faham, senang ingat. Nanti next time, atau kalau Dr. tanya, awak boleh jawab,"
"Boleh,"





I did all the tests. I answered all the questions. I explained all the reasons, and suddenly my heart cried; I want to be a lecturer and yet... I'm still here.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Aku Serius Weh!

Hhahahahhaa. Sekarang bila aku fikir-fikir balik, macam kelakar pulak. Gila berani beb. Semalam, aku berborak dengan salah seorang anak Prof, lecturer kesayangan aku. Asalahnya borak pasal benda lain, kemudiannya, biasa le, kalau aku berborak dengan dia ni macam-macam cerita boleh keluar. Ni berlaku since zaman belajar dulu.

Dalam banyak banyak topik, aku ada cerita seriusnya aku nak cari pasangan kan before? Hahhahahaha. Tiba-tiba terkeluar pulak semalam.

"Saya rasa saya dah fikirlah, saya nak kahwin,"
"Awak serius ke?"
"Seriuslah. Saya nampak main-main ke?"
"Saya tanya betul ni,"
"Ye, serius,"

Aku fikir kejap, ye, aku memang serius. Lagipun aku dah 25 tahun, dah tua. Hoho.Dan aku malas nak jawab soalan mak aku, let alone orang kampung. Apa kau ingat kawen ni main main, Huda?

"Kalau awak serius, saya bagitahu ayah saya. Dia suka kalau orang nak bina masjid ni,"
"Alaa segannya,"
"Okay, saya bagitahu mak saya,"
"Alaaa segan jugak,"
"Haaaa... adik ipar saya,"

Since aku tak kenal sangat, actually pernah jumpa borak-borak, cuma tak de lah rapat sangat, aku pun... hmmmm.

"Bolehlah,"
"Insyallah saya sampaikan,"
"Heee... Insyallah. Doakan ajelah,"
"Amiinnnnnnnnn!"





Sekarang aku macam musykil, aku ni biar betul?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I am a Mommy Now!

Hahhahaaa. Tajuk nak vogue. Semua orang masa zaman kecik kecik kan mesti ada geng dalam berkawan. Kan Kan Kan? Aku macam tu jugak. Dulu kalau korang pernah baca entry aku pasala kawan sampai syurga, korang ingatlah. Itu pun kalau korang ingat.

Hhahahhaha.

Tu bukan ceritanya anyway.

Kawan aku dalam geng kawan samapi syurga selamat melahirkan anak sulung. Masa belajar dulu-dulu, kitorang dah janji, bila dapat anak, otomatik semuanya akan jadi mak angkat. Hahhahaha. Now, my friend, Timah, dah selamat menjadi ibu, semua rebut gelaran.

Well, aku dari dulu nak mommy. Even kalau aku dapat anak saudara, aku akan bahasakan diri mommy. Aku rasa comel. Terpengaruh dengan novel english padahal. Kekekke.

This cute little baby girl nama Nur Syifa' Mardhiah now has 5 moms now! Ibu for Fatimah, her biological mom.

So, this is Umi Thia and Mama Zati.



And two others, Kak In and Nad need to think another nick name. Bonda mungkin? Kekkekkee.

And now, ehemmm... presenting the new mom....


 Mommy Huda!




Aku punya blog haruslah nama aku besar.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dear Diary: Wish


Dear Diary,

Today is a beautiful day. At least up to the moment I am writing now. Well, there are 7 quotes that I put in front of my room's door, and one of that really inspired me to stay strong; I don't own all the problems and what others think is none of my business.

Which work, sometimes.

My clinic (if my rezeki is not here than it will be not mine) has a very nice view. Very nice. It's facing the KLCC twin tower, with the clear blue sky and flying birds sometimes that make it more cheerful.

I love to stare in the emptiness of the blue color. It exactly looks like a plain blue canvas, I wish I can show you but I won't. Sometime, my finger dancing with one of my eyes closed to get the exact point,  pretending I'm touching the top of the KLCC building.

It is childish, I know, but it works too sometimes.

And then I try to imagine, what will it looks like at the night, The pitch black night. Will the stars be visibly clear and the sky will be amazingly beautiful with it shines? I don't know but I believe, at night, looking out from my clinic's transparent window, it will be incredibly wonderful.

How I wish I can stay sometimes but well No! I won't. I am afraid of hospital and no, I wont because it's enough to spend the whole day. Isn't? What a lifeless day if 24/7 be in the hospital?

So, I will pretending at the other place then.

Till meet the next pen. So bye-bye for now.



Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Sigh


I used to write. I write when I am happy. I write when I'm angry. I write when I'm sad. I write when I'm desperate. I write when I feel uneasy. I write when I'm guilty. I write when I'm ashamed. I write for sure when I'm scared.

And yes, I have all those feeling mixed up now. Right now. And I have no idea how should I handle it. Well, I read the psychosomatic thing, that you'll be having the ilnesses even you're not that ill. Like upset stomach, sore throat, headache, so on and so on.

I frequently noseous and in my stomach, I can feel there's a hole. It is small but getting larger when my feeling isn't settling. It's upsetting.





And I don't know how to continue now. Can I get married?

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Seriously?

Hek hek hek.

Dalam klinik tempat aku kerja ada masalah bunyi aircond tiba-tiba kuat. Biasalah, kalau dah nama nak cek kau dengar ke tak, haruslah bilik sunti sepi. Jadinya, bila jadi macam ni, aku mati kutu. Maka terpaksalah menelefon mereka yang sepatutnya naik melawat.

Datang dua pekerja, sorang kurus sorang gaya rambut dan tubuh badan sejibik macam Hafiz si Awan Nano, rambut menggerbang pakai cekak.  Kalau korang kenallah Hafiz tu (pssttt aku pun baru kenal kekekke). Makanya mereka berdua membaikilah dan okay. 

Namun aku perasan, masa first time dia nampak aku dan ketika dia baik, mulut tak berhenti nyanyi lagu Najwa Latiff, Cinta Muka Buku.

Aku senyum sendiri sambil dan terdetik ololololo hepi benar baik aircond.


"Kak, tandatangan boleh?"
"Mana?"

"Kat sini. Ni tanda kitornag buat kerja,"

Arghh. Esoknya pagi-pagi aku sampai klinik, berbunyi lagi. Maka terpaksalah aku menelefon kembali dan datanglah juga dua orang manusia ni lahi.

"Sori lah akak kena panggil awak lagi. Bunyi bising,"
"Tak pe kak, takpe,"

Aku kembali ke meja dan....

"Kita berkenalan dalam laman muka buku, kau hantar pesan suruh aku terima kamu ooo oooo,"

Sekali lagi aku layankan aja dan senyum.

Selang dua hari, klinik berbunyi lagi. Berasap jugak kepala aku ni tapi tak apalah. Nama pun orang baru, nak buat lebih lebih memang tak lah.


"Boleh hantar technician naik tak? Bilik ni aircond kuat semula. Maaflah selalu complain,"


Actually tak perlu pun aku minta maaf. Tapi. agaknya peribadi aku macam tu kot. Tak sampai hati.

"Awak, awat selalu jadi macam gini?"

Uishhh. Now lagi kelakar. Kalau salah seorang tengah bercakap dengan aku, yang satu lagi akan nyanyi lagu si Najwa Latif. Kiranya setiap kali aku bercakap, akan ada background muziklah. Kalau terjumpa sekitar hospital, dia boleh berhenti tanya khabar kau dan dalam masa yang sama background musik Cinta Muka Buku tu tak lekang. 

Tapi aku tak ambil pusing pun. Agaknya mamat dua orang ni minat gila dengan lagu tu. Sampailah Sabtu, klinik bising kembali.

"Banyak persoalan yang bermain di minda, banyak tanda tanya dan juga kata kerja..."

Aku senyum.

"Akak, akak nak tahu sesuatu tak?"
"Apanya?"
"Gaya akak macam Najwa Latif lah,"

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.

Aku gelak besar.

"Najwa Latif muda, akak dah tua,"
"Betul kak, gaya akak macam Najwa Latif,"
"Oooo sebab tu lah awak selalu nyayi lagi tu bila jumpa akak?"
"Hehhehehhehe,"

Aku pandang muka dia sebab aku nak tergelak. Entah celah mana macam Najwa Ltif pun aku tak tahu dan tetiba aku terasa nak kenakan dia balik.

"Apa apa je lah Awan Nano,"
"Eh?" 























Like Seriously?

Kirenye aku comellah macam tu kan? Hahhahaa.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bisakah


Finally, the first tear dropped down...

I know how stupid I am,
How clueless I am,
How bad I am...

I know.





And,
It hurts...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

... [31]





Somehow I really hate that I can't share stories here like I used to.