Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ironi [23]


"Kami telah membayar hutang rakyat sebanyak sekian juta hari ini! Maka dakwaan pembangkang bahawa kami tiada duit adalah silap bahkan kami masih punya kewangan yang kukuh walau setelah membayar sekian juta kepada rakyat. Ini semua hanyalah propaganda pembangkang untuk menjatuhkan kerajaan negeri dan tuduhan mereka bahawa negeri X sudah muflis adalah salah dan membabi buta!"

Ohoo. Bayar hutang pada rakyat yang menderita selama 10 TAHUN untuk mendapat hak mereka sendiri? Awww, selepas 10 TAHUN baru dibayar? Itupun setelah ada satu pihak bersuara? Aww!

Kalau tak ada yang lantang bersuara, maknanya rakyat harus menunggu another what? 10 YEARS? Aww!

Kenapa tak bayar sebelum ini? Sebelum disuarakan? Sebelum dijadikan isu? Kalau betul kewangan kukuh mengapa harus tunggu 10 TAHUN? Kenapa bukan setahun? Atau straightaway ketika tanah mereka dibeli?

Oops I lupa, depa makan pasir.. hangpa makan nasi tu pun berkuahkan garam ja! Ptui!

Shame on you! 
Shame on you.



Tuesday, July 26, 2011

... [23]

They call me just for one day and I'm freaking out! Help!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Review: Not My Idea Of Heaven

Okay, another review! Lately, nak kata tak ada masa, berlambak-lambak je masa. Tapi nak habiskan satu bab buku, oh mak aih lama benar dah macam mengeja satu satu. Hii.

Let the video talks first.

Buku ini mengisahkan tentang kehidupan strict satu kumpulan (atau agama mungkin) yang dinamakan Fellowship yang dictate apa yang kau makan, kau pakai, kau buat, kau apa apa sahaja. Kau juga mesti mengasingkan diri kau dari apa apa atau siapa siapa sahaja dari mereka yang bukan macam kau; worldly people.

Lindsey merupakan salah seorang anak kepada keluarga yang kuat pegangannya dengan Fellowship ini. Dia dibesarkan dengan keadaan sentiasa cuba berada dalam safe side untuk tidak diketahui bahawa dia pelik, dibesarkan dalam suasana yang pelik, dan sentiasa fight untuk tidak nampak pelik!

Dan kerada sering berperang dengan diri dan perasaan, Lindsey akhirnya menghadapi dengan konflik terbesar dalam dirinya apabila dia akhirnya menjadi bulimic dan sangat concern terhadap diri at the end; anorexic!

Lindsey sedar yang dia sakit dan perlukan bantuan yang menyebabkan dia nekad untuk keluar dari kelompok ini and join the worldly people.

Adakah Lindsey berjaya?
Adakah dia recover from her bulimia?
Adakah dia mendapat hukuman dari the Fellowship?

Okay, I'm neither beginner nor expert in english. I'm just  intermediate. So, buku ni I would say the english is easy, so grab one and enjoying the conflict along the way, it's a true story!

I give 3.5/5 stars! It worth reading..!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

... [21]

Fifteen cents or two cents will be too much to keep in touch with friends because I have very lazy fingers to type word by word so I'd rather call those lovely people. Hahahhaha. Even so, I don't like to keep hanging on with my phone because for me, my phone is not more than to entertain myself with the games inside. 

That's why ten ringgit  for me will last what, for a month and half. Nobody will keep the credit that long. Sometimes, I read the messages and reply later which most of the time, I forgot. Sometimes, I heard the ringing but the phone is upstairs so I'll take a look the next hour. And the worst case, I'll look at it a day after!

My point is, lately I'm so annoying with this one number. I hate the fact when I put my effort to run whenever my phone was ringing because I thought maybe one of the hospitals might have a position for me, but I run for a ridiculous message asking me what I'm doing, am I working that clearly, bullshit!

I'm not that people who really being touched with all those nice-sweet questions like when, what, how I eat! I'm easily annoyed and get annoyed and I don't do strangers! I'm mad and I'm mad the fact that I mad with strangers like oh please! Don't you have a life to live on?

I'm mad and I have to burst out because I'm mad and I hate to live with this madness!

I have no idea why this guy keep on text-ing me since last month even after I told him that I've been married and have two sons!


So please, bug off and get a life-lah!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Dear You

Dear you,
Sometimes, whenever my phone blinking, I know that there's no way the sender will be you. Never. You do not have my number, neither am I. But, I don't know why on earth i think it may be you asking for me to lend my shoulder.

Dear you,
I really think that you have enough. You really have no strength left to bear with the pain. I do really think that what you've face is beyond my imagination and the moment you pushed yourself to move on, I have no suitable words to say, to perhaps ease you a little bit.

Dear you,
You already touched my heart even without a single word came out from your sadness. 

Dear you,
I hope you will always be blessed, fine and well and healthy. And, I want you to know that every moment I have, I've never fail to pray for you...

Thursday, July 21, 2011


We're no longer use negatives to make photos nowadays, we use digital camera instead. Life has constant changing so, life isn't like old photography after all. We did wrong, we hurt, we fell and we stand up back even stronger. So, there are no negatives. You fall down and there's no wrong to feel the failures. 

Life itself is what you imagine within yourself, you work out for it, you hope and have faith and you capture the moments all along the journey. 

Sometimes, it doesn't turn out the way you want it to be. Along the beautiful life, there will be sometimes rainy day, frequent storms and the freaking flashing thunders that make you really want to stop imagine how your life photos will look like in the end. That's not the bad thing. That's what we call it as life and life work in a mysterious ways that we rarely know what it might offer.

But, that doesn't make you to stop capturing the pictures because you believe, even the moments captured will always be a defect in it,  you strongly know that;

Every cloud has a silver lining and you're never wrong to believe it that way.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I'm completely strange to whoever including myself. And, I'm sick. I do hope it will last very soon, not now, not yet but sooner.

The first strange thing had happened. I brought back to Kelantan 3 copies or perhaps more of my passport photos and I was specifically put those pictures into one of my backpack pockets. I was certainly sure where I put it and accidentally I lost them all. I felt like shittin' all day long but I did realize it wont help the situation any better. So I went to KB, to my always-kedai-gambar, I'm very particular for most certain things and places so 16 new photos in my hand! DONE!

Well, you know the strange feeling does happen? I really had this strange feeling that I will lose again these 16 photos? Whenever I took a look at those pictures, I kept on telling myself to place it properly (though I already put it in a specific file).

And guess what? As expected, I LOST THEM AGAIN!

I'm thinking back to head to Kelantan to my-always-kedai-gambar! Don't ask why I'm not going to just do it here because I have no better answer. I'm just me, particular to something nonsense.


And the strange feeling number two. I was warded to a temporary ward at the A&E department. I did tell at my previous post regarding the haunted bed and ward and etc. I went back to Selangor the next day because I couldn't do anything but sleeping all the time let alone the throwing-away-whatever-left-in-my-stomach.

During the whole night at the temporary ward, I feel like freaking ghost was watching me! I was scared and I couldn't ever bear with the feelings so I text-ed my friends to please come in and ease my feeling. Luckily I had Aimi and Fifah beside me. They came in and I hold their hands like I wont leave it forever because I was freaking out!

I vomitted a lot even the doctor already pushed the stop-the-vomit-drug through my IV line. And everytime I suddenly woke up, I will cry like hell because I was scared of nothing and they will persuade me to close my eyes and sleep again.

I did until the next woke up and vomit and cry!

When I back home, the scary feeling of ghost does not fade away! I slept with my parents for more than three nights because I can feel the strange feeling is haunted me. My dad brought me to see this one ustaz and he helped me cope with the feeling.

He said, hospital area is normally not that safe with the makhluk halus. He works at one of the government hospitals and said that the nurses frequently complaints of the you-know-what things.

So, he said to me that I'm lemah semangat. He advised me to keep on reciting Al fatihah, Ayatul Qursi, three Quls and Surah Seribu Dinar sebagai pendinding diri everyday, every morning. Maybe, I visited the hospital frequently, I walked alone to the library for four years normally alone, and lemah semangat, the chance to be recognized by these creatures were high.

There are people not really believe this such thing but as a Muslim, jin syaitan do share this world with us. The only thing that make it different is we can't see them unless they want to do so. And the ustaz also said that, every human that born in this world, they were born together with qorin. But when the human died, the qarin does not. That can be one of the reasons why.


... [19]

I am happy for you! I swear! I really am!

Monday, July 18, 2011

... [18]

One day, all the laptops shrink and all the handphones getting bigger. Eventually, these both gadgets will be equally in size. When the time comes, there will be no different between you talking to a handphone, or to a laptop and err?

Sunday, July 17, 2011


I watched Stanza Cinta with my daddy and mommy, nobody else here except these three. Oh. And we all watched TV while I was being forced to finish my plain water, my medications and bla bla bla. Oh, I came back with thousand of new drugsssss as the next illnesses after the previous one are my tonsils being infected, harsh voice, nearly fever, coughing yellowish sputum; sign of infection.

Just perfect!

That's not what I wanna tell.

We watched the series and one of the dialogues were;

"Kalau kita berkahwin dengan isteri solehah samalah macam kita dah lengkap separuh agama,"
"Betul ke ustaz?"

I was like eh? And straightaway look at my dad.

"Ye ke ayah?"

My dad said YES.

"Sebab, isteri solehah ni memudahkan suami untuk membuat ibadah. Redha akan suaminya, membantu bahkan memudahkan dalam segala urusan,"

p/s: Dan dan tu niat nak belajar jadi isteri solehah. Teheeee. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

Jadikanlah Itu Yang Terakhirrrrrrrr!

Antara benda yang paling aku tak gemar dengan A&E adalah kena masuk kerana sakit selain asthma!

Sebab utama adalah kena tunggu tapi Alhamdulillah, setakat ni kalau kena masuk kerana selain asthma, aku tak perlu tunggu lama sangat. It was either the patients were not too much, or my face as white as cotton wool, and bluekkkkk all the time so the triage counter will allow me to be treated earlier.

Hahahha. Sekarang bolehlah gelak gelak. Masa sakit terjelepek atas katil tak bangun bangun, harapaaannn.

Pheww. Aku rasa A&E dan aku untuk sakit selain asthma sangatlah tak serasi. Sumpah tak serasi. Sungguh tak serasi, sebab aku rasa tempat tu berhantu.

Pertama, asal masuk je, katil persinggahan aku mesti katil yang sama, cube yang sama!
Kedua, kalau kena masuk wad sementara, katil yang sama, sudut yang sama!
Ketiga, sebelah aku mesti orang kemalangan yang kalau tak patah tangan kaki, mesti tak sedar diri. Kalau tak sedar diri, macam macam bunyi aku dengar dan tu dah cukup buat mata aku meleleh ketakutan!
Keempat, yang masukkan IV line aku mesti nurse perempuan dan musibah yang sama akan berlaku setiap kali!

Okay. Bila aku ketakutan macam tu, mesti aku baca ayat ayat Quran dengan mata berair merayu rayu, dan serius aku boleh rasa akan rasa tenang perlahan lahan. Tapi, kejap je la. Huu. Lepas tu takut balik, hailah hai banyak dosa.

Kes IV line tu, aku tak salahkan nurse perempuan tu, tapi aku salahkan boleh tak tolong hati hati masa nak keluarkan jarum dekat tangan aku tsk tsk tsk!

"Adik baring situ dulu eh. Nurse ambil darah kejap lagi,"

Phewww. Doktor sungguhlah lemah lembut. No wonderlah satu pertiga dari kesembuhan seorang pesakit, datangnya dari doktor. Namun, sungguh kasihan sebab baru doktor tu nak cakap sepatah aku lari terlanggar dia cari sinki untuk bluekkkkkkkk.

"Ni parut kat tangan ni parut kena cucuk ke nyamuk?"
"Semua parut kat situ, kena jarum,"

Aku senyum.

Masuk wad pukul 12, pukul 4 pagi barulah habis 2 botol air! Gila lama. Hahhaahaha. Tangan masuk air, mulut muntahkan air. Terbaikkk! Anyway, syukurlah masa sakit ni Allah still hantar kawan kawan tolong masa mak ayah tak ada. Tsk tsk, Aimi Fifah Mika, terima kasih sungguh sungguh. Tolong lap lantai, suap makan, sukat dos ubat, kasi plastik etc etc.

Oh, awak sorang lagi tu pun terima kasihlah rajin layan jawab soalan tambah tambah berkeras suruh menapak ke A&E, jasamu ku kenang. :')

Oh, perkara berhantu nombor 4 tu adalah, bila nurse nak keluarkan jarum saat dah selesai semua, mesti dia tarik sticker yang lekatkan IV line dengan kasar. Tu lah tragedi yang mesti jadi, selalu jadi.

Kasar tu sampaikan jarum terkopak keluar (uish bahasa aku!), dan darah pun membuaklah keluar dengan suara arahan,

"Tekan dik, tekan dik!"

Kesian aku kan? Tsk tsk... Ya Allah sihatkanlah aku, dan jadikanlah ini yang terakhir...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

... [18]

And again,
Jatuh sakit lagi...
Wondering which job is actually suit me well.

Oo Allah... In this teary heart, I pray for You to help me in every steps I take.
In this hardship I faced, please let me to have strong heart so I'll never lose in hope.

Oo Allah..
Ooo Allah..

p/s: I slept with Alquran placed on my chest. I'm easily scared to be alone while being sick. And I found out it's very helping. :)

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Day and All About It

I faced a lot of hard moments right now. Right after not accepting the offer from Pantai, they called me back instead and promised me a suitable schedule so I can work. At first I refused, then I thought this is the best given by HIM so I decided after counting in several opinions from my close people, I accepted the offer.

Well, life works in a mysterious way. Pantai called me yesterday and being sorry for not able again to follow the schedule they told me. I was kinda okay at first, but since my parents were really happy and excited, my heart accidentally crying.

As for me, my feeling is the second. First is always them. And for them, its vise versa. I guess it is the normal feeling for children-parents thing.

Working in this kindergarten is a different challenging thing. Here, we have Sudanese, Yemenis, Nigerian, and Malaysian of course. The kids roughly two to three years old but mostly, three. All of them, the foreigner, they speak their own country language so make me a little difficult to guide and ask.

How I'm suppose to say when the breakfast and lunch is ready? How I'm suppose to ask about the poo-poo thing? (wahahahah I can't barely eat my lunch, duhh!). And, how I'm suppose to persuade them to lie down and sleep at noon?

I don't know their languages so I use English instead.

It will be tiring and exhausted day. And as the past first week, I know that raising a child is never easy, but it is interesting tough. I took only one day to memorize all of their names. I'm proud of myself because it is like forever for me to remember names. I am incredibly happy now as I know the characteristics each of them.

The time for the bed'noon' story, I need to lie beside Z and singing zikrullah while my hand non stop patting her thigh. As for H, he needs me to put his both legs on my lap when I'm sitting and I'll start my special made lullaby for him. N and Aq, they sleep easily, and will be the first to sleep and the last to wake up. The difficult to sleep I and A, I just need to give them their happy bottle and play with their hair, they'll sleep straightaway.

See. I learn a lot of things from these kids but I'm to lazy to write it here for now. It is not really interesting for certain people, but for kids-lover like me, it is everything!

Today is weekend, and I miss them already. But I have to say that most of the days, I really count the hours to reach 5 pm because all I can think at that moment is my bed and sleeping!

I bet you, you'll be just like me! HAHAAHAHHAA.

Life has been tougher lately. And still, I'm not giving up of hopes.

Friday, July 8, 2011

... [17]

It happens, again. I really am wondering how this stage might end? Sometimes, I smile and cry at the same time. It wonders me a lot; get accepted. Denial. Ask to accept. Accepted. Then, being rejected. 


I cried. I did cry. Then, I laughed. In a second, zaapppp, everything changed. What-a-life.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A Day


I don't know how to change diapers.
I don't know how to bath them.
I don't know how to handle five little kids at a time.
I don't know how to stop autistic children from grabbing their foods.
I don't know how to persuade them to sleep at noon.
I don't know.
I don't really know.

I got flu, headache and nearly getting fever. Hahhaha. I slept like a sleeping baby, undisturbed from midnight till morning.


p/s: Please noted the /ies/ after /baby/. *wink*

Sunday, July 3, 2011

My Hand

Antara kanak kanak yang sentiasa menyentuh hati dan perasaan aku serta tidak pernah gagal untuk membuatkan aku berfikir tentang kehidupan adalah kanak kanak autistik. Autism, pada aku adalah satu penyakit misteri yang selalu buat aku terfikir masa depan mereka nanti bagaimanakah?

Baru baru, aku berada dekat dengan kanak kanak begini. Sangat dekat dan oleh kerana aku tak pernah ada kelas formal teknik mendekati diorang, maka tak banyak yang aku boleh buat melainkan sapaan dan senyuman dan bercakap.

Oh. Aku tak tahu kenapa, kalau dengan kanak-kanak, normal atau tidak, aku sangat percaya dengan perbualan hati ke hati. Mungkin bunyinya agak pelik dan lucu, tapi iya, aku selalu senyum dan bercakap dalam hati. Aku percaya kanak kanak tiada stigma jika kita benar benar ikhlas, mereka tahu.

Mereka tahu dengan tanpa alasan. Tak kisahlah kau cantik ke hodoh ke, mereka melihat hati.

Pada akulah.


Untuk seminggu kebelakangan ini, aku sentiasa berjumpa dengan seorang kanak kanak autistik dan tiada apa yang boleh aku lakukan melainkan berbual dari hati dan juga senyuman serta sedikit sentuhan yang dia sentiasa larikan diri.

Selang 3 hari, saat aku tengah sibuk memasang tikar, dia datang mendekati, menarik tangan aku, dan memegang erat.

Tanpa sedikit memandang muka aku, dia eratkan pegangan tangan dan meletakkan di dadanya sebelum melepaskan dan berlalu. 

Jika ini kanak kanak normal, tidaklah aku ralat sangat.

Namun si kecil yang istimewa begini? Hati siapakah tidak tersentuh?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Allah Knows

"Can you speak?"
"I can speak both languages, but, ermm.. my Malay is a lot better, it's my first language, but yes, I can speak,"
"Tell me about you,"

I just coming back from Kelantan, and from Pantai Hospital for audiologist position. Allah knows how I really want to pursue my study rather than start working. Allah knows how determined I am. Allah knows I'd rather be a kindergarten teacher then working on this position right now. Allah knows better.

Allah knows.

"If we're going to hire you, you will start working on eleventh of July. Is that okay?"
"It is. I need a week to let Prof. Din knows I'm leaving. I'm going to be a kindergarten teacher by the way,"
"It's not a normal kindergarten, it's special one made for normal kids around two to four years. Prof Din's idea after the successful DKECEK. Urmm..  DKECEK, it's for the deaf kids. And this one, for the normal children,"
"Oh?! Wow. Do you own a car? Are you familiar with KL? Because you need to work with both hospital, Pantai Ampang and Pantai Cheras,"

I'm sad but I'm happy. I'm sad because I'll still be jobless and its how I suppose to react, right? Sad. Being sad. Not up to crying level but I should be... sad.

I'm so happy too because I just have one concrete reason to not accept the offer nicely. I have enough time to be what I love to be and I can start hoping for my dream, harder. Oh Allah, to You and only You, I rely on...

"I don't have any car yet. I'm sorry. If this is going to be one of the position's requirement, I have to say I'm sorry. I can not make it," 

Allah knows.
Allah knows better.
Allah knows BEST!

Just don't stop praying and have faith!

... [14]

Bila KL-Kelantan-KL-Kelantan hanyalah berbeza sehari.