tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62419627774552776302024-03-15T02:22:59.175+08:00CooL?It's just a random NORMAL days that I found INTERESTING!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger652125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-64159925434376816772015-09-26T20:07:00.001+08:002015-09-26T20:07:18.136+08:00SayonaraDear Blog,<div><br></div><div>And those people who still reading.</div><div>(Doubt I have one though after so long)</div><div><br></div><div>Good bye.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-44947020956586010892015-08-26T08:58:00.004+08:002015-08-26T08:59:20.551+08:00Stressful and A Light<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strike>Recently, aku rasa aku dah start activate plan B. Since asthma makin menjadi-jadi dan migrain aku dah mula datang, aku rasa aku dalam state yang amat tak sihat. And considering body weight aku dalam stage yang merisaukan jugak, aku kena do something.</strike></div>
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<strike>It is clearly showed aku punya living state.</strike></div>
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<strike>But how.</strike></div>
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<strike>Betullah jadi dewasa ni merisaukan. Dengan keadaan Malaysia yang entahlah maam mana, and being someone who is overly uneasy to every negative changes is soooo not helping. All the plans for now seems failing one by one, well insyallah for a better reason, but it is indeed menunjukkan something has to be done.</strike></div>
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<strike>Even if I have to move from whatever I am doing right now.</strike></div>
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<strike>The last time I had my migraine I guess when I was in final year.</strike></div>
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<strike>So...</strike></div>
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---</div>
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Can I just get married and jadi surirumah?<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-74153618300939186382015-08-24T09:16:00.001+08:002015-08-24T09:19:13.504+08:00Asthma Has Attacked Me Hard Last Night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I've been constantly fighting with my asthma attack as long as I can remember. What make it a bad nightmare is that, my asthma hasn't show any evidence that it will go or dissapear any sooner. It has becoming worsening instead.</div>
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Last night, I dreamt of me gasping for the air.</div>
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In that dream,</div>
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I could see my dad woke me up and sent me straight to the emergency department. What make it weird, the report stated that I refused any steroid and nebulizer that resulting me to breath even more difficult. I could hear clearly the wheezing sound but the nurses left me alone there gasping, not helping.</div>
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I think I was going to die.</div>
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And that feeling, was indescribable.</div>
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I screamed for a cure, but no one heard me.</div>
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No.</div>
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One.</div>
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Suddenly I woke up realized I'd been sleeping on a couch last night. And yes, that was the worst asthma attack I had so far. I slowly climbed 2 stairs at a time and breathed until I reached my bedroom.</div>
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Luckily my inhaler was exactly where I left it before only the cap missing. Since my niece loves to pretend that my inhaler is some sort of a gun, so it is everywhere. I have more than 3 inhalers to say the least. I shake the inhaler and I knew I will not last long, it is almost finished.</div>
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My inhaler never finished only expired.</div>
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This time it is different.</div>
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It is different.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-29820003143000354092015-08-07T10:59:00.000+08:002015-08-07T11:00:06.176+08:00And The Dream Begins<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"I will scream my voice tonight.</i></div>
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<i>Will you hear me?"</i></div>
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---</div>
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Kadang-kadang, kena ambil masa untuk pejam mata tarik nafas dan lengkapkan balik all the scattered pieces. And somehow, trust me, we let the pieces yang kita pegang erat, kita dakap rapat, to fly far. Further up. Slowly.</div>
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Until dissapear.</div>
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Completely.</div>
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Or at least that is what we believe.</div>
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No--</div>
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Darling. No.</div>
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It hasn't completely gone. It is somewhere in your heart that softly whispers that it is still there. Somewhere but definitely there. </div>
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Catch that piece, darling. Each of them and susun dan jadikanlah dia puzzle yang lengkap sempurna di mata kita. </div>
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---</div>
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Oh tuhan.</div>
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Bagilah jalan.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-861200047580431192015-08-06T11:42:00.002+08:002015-08-06T11:42:16.024+08:00Hola Everiwan!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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And hereby I declare...</div>
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I AM<span style="font-size: x-large;"> BACK</span>!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-62453135113594617882015-05-17T19:35:00.001+08:002015-05-17T19:35:44.475+08:00Well Then"Mana mana pun aku akan pergi,<div>Biarlah pemergian yang sepenuh hati,"</div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-70224226221684169262014-12-14T21:29:00.001+08:002014-12-14T21:29:26.651+08:00Colleague"If that measurement is so important, then why don't we create one?"<div><br></div><div>"Like what?"</div><div><br></div><div>"Like you make something automatic. Put the probe, measure the baseline, test started, boooommmm measurement done,"</div><div><br></div><div>Then I feel scared.</div><div>I always imagine things.</div><div>Since child—</div><div><br></div><div>People always laughing over my imagination.</div><div>People tend to shake their head to disagree.</div><div>People that simply didn't trust me.</div><div><br></div><div>So I felt uneasy revealing my imagination.</div><div><br></div><div>"Well, I imagine a lot. Forget about it,"</div><div><br></div><div>I tried to dismiss the conversation, knowing that it will go nowhere, creating all the memories that hurt—</div><div><br></div><div>That somehow will repeat again.</div><div><br></div><div>"Hey, never say never,"</div><div><br></div><div>I laughed.</div><div><br></div><div>"I will forward you feedback!"</div><div><br></div><div>And I stopped laughing,</div><div>Frowning upon every line he replied, and I read again and again. </div><div><br></div><div>He must be joking, I guess.</div><div><br></div><div>But—</div><div>It did wake me up.</div><div><br></div><div>Until when?</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-WctENpKuzhCC-Hks9_tmM7jlIjGp5nejTY8F6Wsmkn4FaPkhlKL__CLBjhzj5mCWYArm-sZagmCQ9V-SZek4DvV8SbCRTwOXTDshJGXhqTegt_WoZmLESVJCsngxcu63sdslMggLOM/s640/blogger-image--740086112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-WctENpKuzhCC-Hks9_tmM7jlIjGp5nejTY8F6Wsmkn4FaPkhlKL__CLBjhzj5mCWYArm-sZagmCQ9V-SZek4DvV8SbCRTwOXTDshJGXhqTegt_WoZmLESVJCsngxcu63sdslMggLOM/s640/blogger-image--740086112.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-29444851583229565902014-11-10T16:32:00.001+08:002014-11-10T16:32:24.466+08:00Cold<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqOKyK6v0i_VqefXjZz6qatVX_EmZLRS9dPOx0rfZTBU_MIpiMbBQn8rnD466KZwY1g_hZnjk5TBfPMhPrN4SkbcbcTh77HJLd3kuWbJOssIWrGMkQM7fjNDG7CfEeevoqsrtg6UP2CQk/s640/blogger-image-1830868986.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqOKyK6v0i_VqefXjZz6qatVX_EmZLRS9dPOx0rfZTBU_MIpiMbBQn8rnD466KZwY1g_hZnjk5TBfPMhPrN4SkbcbcTh77HJLd3kuWbJOssIWrGMkQM7fjNDG7CfEeevoqsrtg6UP2CQk/s640/blogger-image-1830868986.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And my nose bled.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-58305108288104054342014-10-02T08:14:00.001+08:002014-10-02T08:14:40.070+08:00KerjaAku kalau orang kerja,<div>Tapi tak dedikasi tak punctual,</div><div>Nak je aku jadi bos depa.</div><div><br></div><div>Bagi kata dua—</div><div><br></div><div>Nak kerja,</div><div>Atau blah saja!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-27241033355558862012014-09-29T08:05:00.001+08:002014-09-29T08:05:10.588+08:00Tahu"Awak tahu kenapa kalau kita dah suka orang, kita payah pulak nak undo suka kita?"<div><br></div><div>"Kenapa?"</div><div><br></div><div>"Inersia,"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-43398786821266337522014-09-22T14:12:00.001+08:002014-09-22T14:12:49.361+08:00Kalau AkuKalau aku—<div>Boleh bawak kau pulang.</div><div>Simpan dalam kocek terjongket jongket berlari.</div><div>Nanti sampai tempat singgah,</div><div>Kita bercerita sampai waktu kita lupa.</div><div>Sampai siang malam tidak kita kira.</div><div><br></div><div>Kalau aku—</div><div>Boleh bawak kau pergi.</div><div>Mana sekalipun aku suka.</div><div>Mana sekalipun walau hanya nanti susah saja.</div><div><br></div><div>Tak apa.</div><div><br></div><div>Sebab kau ada.</div><div>Sebab kau setia.</div><div><br></div><div>Kalaulah aku—</div><div>Boleh tahu.</div><div>Engkau siapa.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-8763018627742588792014-06-28T04:44:00.001+08:002014-06-28T04:44:50.950+08:00GilaAku ni kan—<div>Dah gile kot. </div><div>Mengharap yang bukan bukan.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYknCJ92PDDTjGFzZdFRiUCR5YRKWsl6zAOs1ie2QWc871QUSc7lH2l_iHatXSMnPa3j4sVpyayWBW2nGlqsv-kYJtzFMcR0vaUUkPrLAfssL6zygzDrCMKAJXOAXKFJWnK1VOZE0Fcyw/s640/blogger-image-613445347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYknCJ92PDDTjGFzZdFRiUCR5YRKWsl6zAOs1ie2QWc871QUSc7lH2l_iHatXSMnPa3j4sVpyayWBW2nGlqsv-kYJtzFMcR0vaUUkPrLAfssL6zygzDrCMKAJXOAXKFJWnK1VOZE0Fcyw/s640/blogger-image-613445347.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-43746447937538010662014-06-12T04:55:00.001+08:002014-06-12T04:56:56.354+08:00JustI don't know if I'm crazy or weird.<div>But—</div><div>Serious shit I don't bloody care!</div><div><br></div><div>---</div><div> </div><div>I think I understand what Imsomnia can cause to people;</div><div>I'm seeking for sleep.</div><div>The right time to drift off.</div><div><br></div><div>Oh—</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-54549251063026543002014-06-10T01:41:00.001+08:002014-06-10T01:41:01.392+08:00I Need Therapy Music To Sleep<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJav256Vhs9pTvHOM9LIMwTrxVOjI9MxQQIlt6ZsVc9X4IRAn_rkd_jnSdr_X0pNGriVCyDnXy1GvpR75dc50CNxIdoC77WxgehlUnhb6pRHwG3cfpW8U1A_cqV_yMZL4MPM2ui_vLvg/s640/blogger-image-1245622891.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJav256Vhs9pTvHOM9LIMwTrxVOjI9MxQQIlt6ZsVc9X4IRAn_rkd_jnSdr_X0pNGriVCyDnXy1GvpR75dc50CNxIdoC77WxgehlUnhb6pRHwG3cfpW8U1A_cqV_yMZL4MPM2ui_vLvg/s640/blogger-image-1245622891.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Aku—</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Takut.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-71561017044845815042014-05-22T08:35:00.001+08:002014-05-22T08:35:04.331+08:00--After June.<div>After June.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm going to take a freaking long leave.</div><div>Just to sleep.</div><div><br></div><div>I am pretty much—</div><div>Tired.</div><div>And exhausted.</div><div>And sleepy.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCW2nlIfm70j8iopK5xa0mgw20Z1801TcSi9vV8BrTaw4TYzCa13cWtowwZVnYvb2j7fjEM-ukrUif6KaXDfBOBVCoCUeZxq9Bx5E8SpQWWTxVT_e2x9_S3fEmg36HkyPwePBx9Pym9Zc/s640/blogger-image--879301619.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCW2nlIfm70j8iopK5xa0mgw20Z1801TcSi9vV8BrTaw4TYzCa13cWtowwZVnYvb2j7fjEM-ukrUif6KaXDfBOBVCoCUeZxq9Bx5E8SpQWWTxVT_e2x9_S3fEmg36HkyPwePBx9Pym9Zc/s640/blogger-image--879301619.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-22690281467871726342014-05-08T10:26:00.001+08:002014-05-08T10:26:55.278+08:00RasaPaling kosong aku pernah ada.<div>Paling restless aku pernah hadap.</div><div>Paling vakum aku pernah rasa.</div><div>Paling tasteless aku terpaksa santap.</div><div><br></div><div>Rasa ni.</div><div>Buat aku terperangkap dalam jasad diri.</div><div>Dan hidup aku hanya mengharap berakhirnya hari—</div><div><br></div><div>Supaya aku didalam mimpi sekali lagi.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-42477022355876489312014-04-27T01:01:00.001+08:002014-04-27T01:01:50.286+08:00Appropriate (Macam Ni Ke Eja?)"So what's up? New story?"<div>"Nothing dear,"</div><div><br></div><div>Tarik nafas.</div><div>Entah.</div><div><br></div><div>"Janganlah panggil saya dear, atau sayang. Nanti saya jatuh hati,"</div><div><br></div><div>Teguran paling sopan aku boleh bagi. Semua silap dan buruk yang bakal jadi, aku letak atas bahu aku. Jadi, teguran ini biar nampak hanya kerana aku takut aku yang terdosa dahulu. </div><div><br></div><div>Aku tahu.</div><div>Dia tidak.</div><div>Aku sedikit dilatar belakangkan agama.</div><div>Dia mungkin tidak sebanyak apa yang aku tahu.</div><div><br></div><div>Ahhh—</div><div>Siapa suka ditegur untuk ditunjuk salah?</div><div>Siapa?</div><div><br></div><div>Jadi, biarlah halusnya begini.</div><div><br></div><div>"Tak apa. Tak apa kalau jatuh hati pun,"</div><div><br></div><div>Tarik nafas.</div><div><br></div><div>"Tak bolehlah. It's not nice, and not polite,"</div><div><br></div><div>Senyum—</div><div>Lega.</div><div><br></div><div>Apa dalam hati, yang terbuku telah aku bersuara. Dan tidak, sedikit pun aku tidak cinta.</div><div><br></div><div>Ini hormat, manusia yang berbisik bisik semangat masa aku merangkak dewasa, hingga dimana aku berdiri kini.</div><div><br></div><div>Ya.</div><div>Aku tidak cinta.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_kU61qISwkkVP9QgzUB88VDYgpzXIPZ-yXK8R1jUcuwWmZtnwVfhbIetnTH9R6L8aCJUOPc_ZQFnzJE1IZlOP1Dzntq0pDJrvPYFttrN-P-Q4lrXAzPYXUrUNYsv0QmrK4K_DF9fy40/s640/blogger-image--682957195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_kU61qISwkkVP9QgzUB88VDYgpzXIPZ-yXK8R1jUcuwWmZtnwVfhbIetnTH9R6L8aCJUOPc_ZQFnzJE1IZlOP1Dzntq0pDJrvPYFttrN-P-Q4lrXAzPYXUrUNYsv0QmrK4K_DF9fy40/s640/blogger-image--682957195.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-59360043129584125642014-04-22T00:06:00.001+08:002014-04-22T00:06:32.583+08:00HarapKadang-kadang rasa banyak sangat mengharap manusia.<div>Banyak.</div><div>Sangat.</div><div><br></div><div>Tapi iyalah—</div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-58711208866752924512014-03-31T01:12:00.001+08:002014-03-31T01:12:38.464+08:00Tunggu?"Dah kahwin ke?"<div><br></div><div>Hahahhaha—</div><div>Gua gelak besar.</div><div><br></div><div>---</div><div>Gua jumpa mamat ni masa gua keja oversea sekangkang kera sekejap. Masa tu gua rasa Ramadhan. Gua tengah beratur nak boarding balik Malaysia.</div><div><br></div><div>Sambil gua buka earphone untuk pemeriksaan keselamatan, masa tu lah mamat ni tegur.</div><div><br></div><div>"Akak orang Malaysia?"</div><div><br></div><div>Gua berpaling. Sengih.</div><div><br></div><div>"Aah,"</div><div>"Allah. Allah. Lama gila dah saya tak cakap melayu,"</div><div><br></div><div>Aku gelak. And then the conversation went on and on. Until his flight exactly time for boarding.</div><div><br></div><div>"Akak, meh la no phone. Bile bile datang sini balik, boleh tukar tukar cerita,"</div><div><br></div><div>Since dia panggil aku akak, secara otomatik dia muda pada aku. Dan secara otomatik, aku tak kisah bagi phone no aku plusssss since when phone aku ada privacy?</div><div><br></div><div>Rasa rasa aku malas layan, aku ada capability of buat dekkkk to any ringings.</div><div><br></div><div>Time passed by and aku tak ingat dah kisah mamat ni. Aku gak taktau sejak bila dia kawan FB aku. Like seriously aku tak tau. Tetibe eh, dalam friendlist aku?</div><div><br></div><div>Don't bother to check and don't even care to care.</div><div><br></div><div>Until recently.</div><div><br></div><div>---</div><div><br></div><div>"Dah kahwin?"</div><div>"Kahwin apanya. Keje kena gi merata-rata,"</div><div><br></div><div>Nature kerja aku memang macam ni and I do wonder sometimes, can I really commit once ditakdirkan tuhan (aminnn) berkeluarga kelak?</div><div><br></div><div>"Ok. Nanti saya hantar rombongan meminang,"</div><div><br></div><div>Aku gelak dalam pelik. Kau dah kenapa? </div><div><br></div><div>"Toksah dok mengarut,"</div><div>"Saya cakap betul ni. Kecuali dah ada calon,"</div><div><br></div><div>I don't have the candidate or being someone's candidate as yet. </div><div><br></div><div>But—</div><div><br></div><div>Speechless.</div><div><br></div><div>So I replied.</div><div><br></div><div>"I'm not ready yet,"</div><div><br></div><div>I laughed. And channel the topic to something else. Closed it tight cause the topic was so uncomfortable and weird to talk to. Especially to stranger. It just, no. Very purely NO.</div><div><br></div><div>Well I think, the truth is, I'm waiting for miracle to happen.</div><div><br></div><div>The one that I met in my last sujud.</div><div>Not so sure the sujud was real solah or solah that happened in my dream.</div><div>And I don't know him like total stranger.</div><div>Or his appearance was not so clear.</div><div>Or whatever.</div><div><br></div><div>Hahahha—</div><div>I know and very sure it just a mainan tidur berangan banyak. Hamba macam aku, tidur pun main terjah je, lagi nak harap mimpi suci? But then, it is not a crime right to hope?</div><div><br></div><div>So.</div><div><br></div><div>I will keep on hoping sooner or later,</div><div>He will come.</div><div><br></div><div>Insyallah—</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9t9cEL-MGPIYCOo4nPGMDxK_OUvsmg0ZVjEHNBekG6Coy7feuhKpaZsXGMtFe1NHHT67IHc2_E7AdpwOha2hmBiDh9ucphi3NIen_F1s_Tii9gYBkRWWP1B0jT3wwOlaiT5TY1kNoXhw/s640/blogger-image--1080763867.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9t9cEL-MGPIYCOo4nPGMDxK_OUvsmg0ZVjEHNBekG6Coy7feuhKpaZsXGMtFe1NHHT67IHc2_E7AdpwOha2hmBiDh9ucphi3NIen_F1s_Tii9gYBkRWWP1B0jT3wwOlaiT5TY1kNoXhw/s640/blogger-image--1080763867.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-55101645977809364292014-03-24T08:56:00.001+08:002014-03-24T08:57:33.503+08:00Wish Granted?Its kinda weird.<div>I just think about adoption. Exactly the day after that, I met this middle age lady, carried a child.</div><div><br></div><div>Boy.</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2 years old.</span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Origin from Nigeria perhaps.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I tried so very hard to not being judgemental. And started a conversation. It happened to know, she is a social worker, working for Rumah Kebajikan.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">And I did ask this question.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">"Will that be very difficult for a person like me, I mean single parent, to adopt?"</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">The looked that I guess everyone will expect.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">"She's working. Stable. 27 year old,"</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Again she studied my face before she asked;</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">"Is she, the one that you referred to, is you?"</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">--</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Silent—</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PYZcFTIus8ISzXne_GWzSKBshVUzrSR3ZDcA_Mt7RBmgnjOOVsPr3ZEPC1qWZq3Z8OGrGMAazLiS8LhpbJ18g-pqniX9-d0WSG8JPJRntNOfN_gx4SVgeIHJQjpNCUrP4iu7FOA9QJo/s640/blogger-image--1782336354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PYZcFTIus8ISzXne_GWzSKBshVUzrSR3ZDcA_Mt7RBmgnjOOVsPr3ZEPC1qWZq3Z8OGrGMAazLiS8LhpbJ18g-pqniX9-d0WSG8JPJRntNOfN_gx4SVgeIHJQjpNCUrP4iu7FOA9QJo/s640/blogger-image--1782336354.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-20110697561954708742014-03-21T09:22:00.001+08:002014-03-21T09:22:26.696+08:00I HaveI'm not sure if this is even healthy. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">But, I will still doing it since I consider it is a gift.</span><div><br></div><div>I've been losing myself for certain time. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">And when I do realize it, I will hold for as long as I could to still moving within the line; being normal. Stay safe.</span></div><div><br></div><div>I guess.</div><div><br></div><div>And from there, whenever I keep trying to embrace the moment where I able to regain myself, considering what I've been through, or perhaps the war that I was in and still am within me and my personality; I think, this is where it came from.</div><div><br></div><div>From the non stop nonsense and silent talking.</div><div>From all the deep breath taken to not losing temper or dissappointment.</div><div>From all the worries that beyond my capability to take care of.</div><div>From all the no-one-ever-understand.</div><div><br></div><div>So.</div><div>I'm gifted.</div><div>And proud.</div><div><br></div><div>That I have—</div><div>The ability to freeze.</div><div>To shut down.</div><div>And switch off.</div><div><br></div><div>For as long as I want.</div><div>For as long as I need.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rzdFXlOEI718Kz7GFf8u5EF4U4iuiba4ajCalbTbWpQ92arlfa3rEKdbRQ_JONARbL6_pJvRKpTT0jk0H1k4R5H0zNkBSlis9LDUwA6XC_ALeklBbBvgOMRD57IrkUrVWLkJFpF7354/s640/blogger-image--2119603723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rzdFXlOEI718Kz7GFf8u5EF4U4iuiba4ajCalbTbWpQ92arlfa3rEKdbRQ_JONARbL6_pJvRKpTT0jk0H1k4R5H0zNkBSlis9LDUwA6XC_ALeklBbBvgOMRD57IrkUrVWLkJFpF7354/s640/blogger-image--2119603723.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-47884326657675560772014-03-17T13:59:00.001+08:002014-03-17T14:01:32.469+08:00NyawaTerima kasih, Tuhan.<div>Kerana sudi panjangkan lagi nyawa.</div><div>Kerana benarkan aku merasa lagi lapar dahaga.</div><div>Merasa kantuk letih dan berjaga.</div><div>Kerana masih sayang pada hinanya aku seorang hamba.</div><div><br></div><div>Tuhan—</div><div>Dalam pada kerja aku ini harus bercantik cantik berlemah lembut menjaga setiap hati dan rasa.</div><div>Aku pohon,</div><div>Lembutkanlah setiap satunya.</div><div><br></div><div>Dan campaklah dalam hati kita kita.</div><div>Yang mendengar itu anugerah.</div><div>Seandai ditarik atau tidak dibagi—</div><div>Bukan tanda Tuhan menzalimi.</div><div><br></div><div>Bukan.</div><div><br></div><div>Tiada satu pun cerdik pandai mencipta apa saja yang palsu itu mampu mengganti yang telah Engkau beri.</div><div><br></div><div>Melainkan oh Tuhan.</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Engkau campakkan ilmu,</span></div><div>Tanda sayangnya pada kami.</div><div>Meski tidak boleh diganti—</div><div><br></div><div>Namun,</div><div>Masih boleh dibantu lagi.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieswxa9DWyM2E7sSc6CfLSZEJ6fF6UDuLJoXoFA8EcV35Rj03ca-0E_iNrFW0jlEQ29UzF9SeqCU2k5lKPG0RhnFX0BAXthzo6c9z1tiWR-9c0iTGfmT1uzsfS9TTvVTmWTyBN9foFk4E/s640/blogger-image--619054405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieswxa9DWyM2E7sSc6CfLSZEJ6fF6UDuLJoXoFA8EcV35Rj03ca-0E_iNrFW0jlEQ29UzF9SeqCU2k5lKPG0RhnFX0BAXthzo6c9z1tiWR-9c0iTGfmT1uzsfS9TTvVTmWTyBN9foFk4E/s640/blogger-image--619054405.jpg"></a></div> </div><div>--</div><div><br></div><div>It was so freaking cold there,</div><div>And I had asthma attack again.</div><div>But being with all the doctors,</div><div>I felt being loved and cared.</div><div><br></div><div>It was freaking cold there,</div><div>That my boss had to offer his coat so I felt safe,</div><div>Countless thank you I said.</div><div>Countless again he repeated it's okay.</div><div><br></div><div>It was freaking cold there,</div><div>And I shivered like hell,</div><div>He looked at me right into my eyes,</div><div>"I should be married so someone will taking care so well,"</div><div><br></div><div>Really?</div><div><br></div><div>I laughed and laughed and laughed so hard.</div><div>Cause I didn't have nice words to reply.</div><div>I said I have no one as yet in my heart.</div><div>"But how about you find someone for me to try?"</div><div><br></div><div>We laughed we joked we had such a good time.</div><div>Until I realized it wont be forever.</div><div>Back home for the weather that is nice and warm.</div><div>And meeting those that I miss so very dear.</div><div><br></div><div>Back to where I belong and its raining.</div><div>Such a perfect gift to feel welcome.</div><div>For whatever crisis that happen in my country,</div><div>Can't beat this feeling to again be home.</div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-82705742165070314002014-03-15T00:51:00.001+08:002014-03-15T00:51:03.537+08:00CintaOh Tuhan.<div>Izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta.</div><div>Kali ini saja—</div><div><br></div><div>Dan Tuhan.</div><div>Betapa menggunung dosa dan ketidakmampuan.</div><div>Aku tetap saja memohon meminta.</div><div><br></div><div>Kerana kau Tuhan.</div><div>Tidak sekelumit benci pada hamba yang mendamba sahaja.</div><div>Tidak ada tiada boleh pada hamba yang mengharap magika tanpa usaha.</div><div>Yang membeza.</div><div>Hanya masa dan bagaimana.</div><div><br></div><div>Oh Tuhan.</div><div>Atas dasar kasih sayang maha Pencipta.</div><div>Atas kasihannya engkau pada lemahnya hamba.</div><div>Atas segala janji-janjiMu yang terus mendengar walau apapun cerita.</div><div><br></div><div>Aku pohon rayu meminta.</div><div>Kurniakanlah aku—</div><div><br></div><div>Cinta.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1pUUI_JmcwTXN0PZjL5thfxYkR-9mdo_BA4Dml0um-7YV4-4kEb2S7IYuXaJV9cseW6hpNyo2iS1bJTNCVZUL6-tsqiZKLK7yObTHkkmK_GXVamJ0voq6rRqDRfLx-WN60rOxZbXNRs/s640/blogger-image--882535524.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1pUUI_JmcwTXN0PZjL5thfxYkR-9mdo_BA4Dml0um-7YV4-4kEb2S7IYuXaJV9cseW6hpNyo2iS1bJTNCVZUL6-tsqiZKLK7yObTHkkmK_GXVamJ0voq6rRqDRfLx-WN60rOxZbXNRs/s640/blogger-image--882535524.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-34375052277503206872014-03-14T19:44:00.001+08:002014-03-14T19:44:04.282+08:00SebabKau teramat yakin—<div>Yang kau tak akan mati.</div><div>Untuk sepuluh minit lagi.</div><div><br></div><div>Dan bila aku tulis 'kau',</div><div>Aku maksudkan aku.</div><div><br></div><div>Ah—</div><div>Semua orang sering bercakap sendiri bukan?</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqTaL9sN5kwgH43NitEdMLjq_XZu3qZId_5QBTIjmIfWNZPHbrHNxNeOwjK40XgdGZ_YA3U2Z2oMsq-z-75Ld0lCFz5ze0lzf3ZygUdhAMFKfuLnzRDjyl3WxQnciqDTJ7z3lFek1CPjw/s640/blogger-image--522252488.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqTaL9sN5kwgH43NitEdMLjq_XZu3qZId_5QBTIjmIfWNZPHbrHNxNeOwjK40XgdGZ_YA3U2Z2oMsq-z-75Ld0lCFz5ze0lzf3ZygUdhAMFKfuLnzRDjyl3WxQnciqDTJ7z3lFek1CPjw/s640/blogger-image--522252488.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241962777455277630.post-64496889757142440502014-03-14T01:26:00.001+08:002014-03-14T01:26:38.525+08:00I FeelThis is the time—<div>That I already think very seriously about adoption.</div><div><br></div><div>A mother that perhaps not by 9 months.</div><div>That not related by blood.</div><div>That not able to share any genes or traits.</div><div>But a mother that will try the best by any chance.</div><div>A mother that has love to give.</div><div>A mother that has—</div><div>A vision to share.</div><div>A journey explore.</div><div>A future to go.</div><div>Holding hands.</div><div><br></div><div>A mother.</div><div>That I know will create every conflicts.</div><div>But i will make sure.</div><div>It worth the fight.</div><div>With all my might.</div><div><br></div><div>Yes.</div><div>I am—</div><div>Ready.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0