Duduk depan komputer. Duduk. Merenung. Teringat zaman muda muda dan andaikan sudah tua sekarang. Belum. Belum masa. Tapi sehari ke sehari, dua hari ke dua hari, tiga hari ke tiga hari dan seratus hari, minggu, bulan dan tahun, rambut putih kulit berkedut.
Awak, bila awak nak datang bawak kite pergi jauh buat sehari, dua hari, tiga hari, minggu, bulan dan tahun?
"What's your plan?" "I don't talk my plan with strangers. Sorry, I think you still are stranger to me despite what? 2 weeks?" "It's okay but... seriously what is your plan?" "You don't wanna know," "Hmm?" "I wanna quit my job," "Hah?" "Well, someday. Not today," "Seriously?" "As I said, you don't wanna know,"
Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future not ours to see,
Que sera sera.
"I like to talk to you," "Why? People don't really like me, I'm arrogant, weirdo, I keep silent whenever I want and talk whenever I want," "That's why I like to talk to you,"
You're wrong,
You're wrong,
You'll not like me,
For that long.
Well, It has been few weeks that I stop writing. There're a lot of reasons apart from being lazy. Hahhaha. No. I lied. Actually I just have one reason which is to stop the readers from reading my post. My intention is, when they come to my blog, realize that no new posts and over time they will simply stop. I feel something bad when I went to seminars, they recognize me and can say loud my name; Huda Mustaffar. It's good, it's nice but it just doesn't sound right to my ear.
Like you have a lot readers eh buddy?
Perasantan.
Hahahha. A Lot of adjustment in my life nowadays and who cares? I resigned my previous job and join goverment. I get a new family members now, Hannah who like to cry in the middle of the night. Like an owl, she sleeps during the day and very active when everybody start to sleep.
And...... I have my new braces, AGAIN. The whole painful procedure, AGAIN. The weirdo metal in my mouth, AGAIN!
Korang mesti pernah tengok iklan ni kan? Iklan penuh keinsafan untuk raya tahun ni. Yep, iklan ni istimewa. Dan iklan ni double keistimewaannya untuk aku.
Mula mula tengok, aku tak excited sangat nak tau ending tapi aku tengok adakah iklan ini logik atau tidak, real atau hampeh. Well, salute sangat sebab memang real. Maksud real aku, the way the script dilakonkan was marvelous, especially the kid with the hearing aid; Ahmad. Dan the reason iklan ni menarik aku untuk bercerita dekat sini sebab the actors are the real different ability people.
Kebetulan pagi tadi aku tengok hotfm bawa masuk budak budak ni jadi tetamu diorang. Terus dari tak de mood nak kerja ni forever and ever (aku mudah boring especially benda yang aku nak buat tak dapat), adalah sikit semangat.
Kau perasan Ahmad yang pakai hearing aid tu? Kau perasan cara dia cakap agak susah nak faham kan?
Tapi, aku faham. Mungkin sebab aku audiologis dan sebab kawan kawan aku speech therapist, makanya aku dapat gift faham apa dia cakap dan aku dapat faham perasaan budak tu. Sumpah sedih. Masa tu aku tertanya-tanya budak ni tak undergoing speech therapy ke? Terus aku terfikir, kalau aku ni speech therapist, nak je aku offer kepakaran aku.
Tiba-tiba ada sorang doktor dari Kota Kinabalu called offer for free speech therapy and apa benda ntah satu lagi dekat the other kid. Aku macam oh my....! Bagusnya doktor doktor kat Malaysia! Prihatin dan cantik dan kacak. Eh?
Somehow, aku pernah terfikir dulu bila aku agak malas dah nak explain nature kerja aku bila orang dok keep saying aku ni doktor, doktor, doktor.. aku iyekan aje. Hambek.
Orang orang kelainan upaya ni sebenarnya sama macam kita, it just the way they adapt with life different to us, and that doesn't make us any better pun anyway. So, kalau kita tak dapat tolong, jangan sisihkan. Jangan stare at them macam alien. Offer help when they need. Paling penting, treat equally sebanarnya.
Now, bila dengan iklan iklan macam ni, orang akan mula realize slowly that there is a job called audiologist, and her close friend will be speech therapist. There are specialist to offer and boost up their quality of life. There are person who can help them to listen, and teach them to talk. and they are...
Well, time passed by. Despite feeling like escaping the bad, entering the worst.. still I'm believing in hikmah. I promised myself to not get involved in this stupid politics. I want make my life simple. Aku ada banyak impian nak capai dan impian itu tak termasuk benda benda bodoh ni.
"Cik Huda, macam macam mana pun cik kena bagi dekat saya dulu senarai nama. Tak boleh pass terus ke unit cik. Matron cakap kitorang kena ada yang asal sebelum bagi pada cik,"
Aku senyum.I still remember one day, the day that I told my lecturer that I can read people and he said I just make up stories, assuming people and of course wrong. Well, I don't mind and it doesn't make my gift any lesser.
"Kalau unit dan department lain bagi dekat dekat cik, cik kena inform kami dulu,"
Aku senyum.
"Boleh saya tanya awak satu benda?"
"Apa?"
"Awak kena marah dengan matron ye?"
Senyap. Terkejut.
"Macam mana cik tahu?"
"Semalam awak masuk unit saya senyum, intonasi lain, cara jalan lain. Hari ni, lain,"
"Saya minta maaf,"
"Bukan salah awak, bukan salah saya, bukan salah sesiapa pun. Sepatutnya kalau matron nak pastikan senarai sampai dekat unit awak sebelum unit saya, she supposed to state something pada surat saya kan? Or else, people will assume that's mine,"
"Ermm,"
"Don't worry. Kalau ada despatch hantar pada saya, I'll let you know, ok?"
"Thanks. Maaf tau. Saya balik dulu,"
Dia menjauh.
"Wan,"
"Ye?"
"Don't take it seriously. Make it simple. Bila orang marah, don't let it bothers our life. Okay?"
