I've become so numb I can feel you there
Become so tired So much aware
By becoming this All I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you!
~Linkin Park, Numb
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I'm sooooo wondering while in this fast everybody (by everybody I mean certain of my family members) recognize me as their blood bonding people so sudden!
In this so soon my future will gives me be as 'Hospital People' (I don't like to be known like I am the most important people in my area while I prefer to be hidden somewhere and blooming so silent), one by one starting to count me as somebody who could help. In other word; it's privilege matters!
In this moment, they like to ask me if I know him or I remember her where he/she doesn't even recognize me when we were in the same school. Worst, in the same class! They keep hint what if I'll be with their son or whatever.
It's not love connection. It's PATHETIC!
What did I do is smiling. I'm not that kind of people who will be so rude and outspoken towards family members, parents' friends especially older people. That is my strength. I can easily smile and makes jokes but sometimes my strength being my weakness where they find me as so-nice-people while I'm obviously NOT! I'm burning inside!
No. By mentioning above, it's not including all people. It's the thing that I keep wondering, while so sudden they starting to step into my family. When my siblings live perfectly happy through the toughness of CHILDHOOD, none being so nice. Or vice versa.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Child memories is the thing you can't arguing its truth, alright?
Aku bukan mengungkit, aku cuma tak suka. Betullah bila senang tak payah minta, datang. Kalau susah? Masa inilah kesejatian sesuatu hubungan terserlah!
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