END

... till then, peeps!

`

Please-lah.

That such topic... it's is irritating, it's annoying. Sometimes, there are few things from our childhood memories rather be forgotten than diulang-ulang! I am human being, I have feeling, love and to be loved...

... but not the one you think it's funny and cute and what?

Haih!

The thing is, don't simply put you own book where others who don't know you can see it. Especially the book with your ambitious-future-name like, Prof. Dr Huda Mustaffar. It is no doubt can help to encourage you to the next higher level of education, buuuutttttt it is also can turn out like this;

"Bagusnya, muda muda dah Prof,"

Pffftttttt!

The Day That I Doubt

Seingat aku, aku derma darah masa aku tingkatan lima, 2005. Tak pernah sepanjang hayat aku nak derma darah. Aku dengan segerombolan kawan-kawan aku pergi KBMall, dan pihak hospital HKB buat event menderma darah dan dari situ tetiba aku buat kerja gila pergi beratur, tadaaaaaa.

Aku takut jarum, tapi aku lagi takut kalau tak tengok jarum yang masuk tangan aku. That time, aku tahu kalau derma darah tangan akan dicucuk dua kali. Pertama jarum kecik then jarum besar. Masa zaman tu macam menakjubkan je jarum kecik sakit, jarum besar idak pule padahal jarum kecik untuk tahan sakit sebab jarum besar nak masuk. 

Makanya, dari situ lekat tabiat aku derma darah dan aku sedar kemungkinan-kemungkinannya. Lepas derma darah yang pertama, lapar gila! Derma darah kedua, mengantuk gila. Yang selepas itu, aku imun.

Kot.

Atau aku ignore.

Sampailah minggu lepas.

Aku jalan sorang sorang dekat Jusco, ternampak sekumpulan manusia yang menderma darah dan peristiwa enam tahun lepas, saat kali pertama aku derma darah datang semula. Aku fikir pasti tabung darah sangat memerlukan. Kalaulah aku dapat membantu... Tak semena-mena aku beratur isi borang. Done!

But then, since kakak aku nak kahwin dan aku janji dengan ayah aku dan pindahkan barang malam tu, was when I doubt my action. Berkebetulan seminggu lepas aku batuk selsema, dan dalam borang suruh state ya atau tidak regarding few things, one of them cough and flu. Like hmmmm...

Tapi aku teruskan juga beratur sandar pada dinding perhati alam sekitar sambil hati kata perlu, tak, perlu, tak, perlu, tak ulang ulang sampai terpacak depan doktor. Dan aku berdoa, kalau betul betul apa aku nak buat ni selamat dan menyelamatkan, permudahkanlah.

"Ada batuk selsema tak seminggu dua ni?"

"Last week, I didn't take antibiotic though prescribed,"

Oh tuhannnn.

"Lain kali eh?"

Angguk. Lega. Senyum dan berlalu.

Syukur.

.

The more I read, the more I'm afraid that it will be an..

OBSESSION

Derrrrr~

Benda paling aku tak suka!

Arrange majlis kahwin!

Huh!

Melayang

Melayang-layang jangan jatuh,

Melayang terbang cari perhentian,

Melayang hingga kau penat terima,

Namun bukan berhenti semerta.

Andai ada esok, selama itulah harapan,

Kalau tiada, berat lagi bahu kau beban,

Tak terfikir apa tak terfikir bagaimana,

Jauh sekali tanggungan siksa.

Melayang-layang atas dan bawah,

Melayang tinggi terkadang rendah,

Melayang layang carilah cahaya,

Esok lusakan datang jua.

HM

What-a-Day

Aidil Adha.

Bangun pagi dengan batuk dan sakit tekat. Masuk tandas, lihat sputum/kahak warna kuning. Oh no, must be infection somewhere. Oh no, kena rush before asthma datang nak melawat juga. Oh no, all the clinics were closed oh come on its raya lah!

Pergi farmasi beli high concentratred vitamin C ke menatang apa. Dia ada tulis for those who prone to cold, sore throat and fever. For the first sign of cold, take 2 tablets per 3 hour. Oh oh oh...!

Something tak best, sebelum dapat asthma cari steroid inhaler. Ohhhhhhhh NO! HILANG. GREAT! Please, jangan masuk wad. It will be no HUSM anymore. No handsome doctors, no sweet medical students. Hhehehhe.

Lately, I always misplaced my medications. Sigh.

Happy Aidil Adha! 

Apakah korban anda?

Please...

How Confident Has Changed My Life

Thanks for the contest and it makes two now. :)

---


When I was five nobody used training wheels to ride bicycle anymore.
But I did, so everybody's laughing.
Who cares?

When I was seven, I sat silent even I was in emergency to go to the toilet.
I was afraid the teacher might scold me so I cried.
Who cares?

When I was nine, my class teacher put me in between of two Indian boys.
I've never talk since then.
Who cares?

When I was ten I never wanted to show off my arts, drawings, writings, my talents.
It was so ugly.
Who cares?

When I was thirteen I was afraid of being far away.
I might have no friends.
Who cares?

When I was fifteen I gave up hoping to be selected into my dream school.
They said it was for the best, and I wasn't.
Who cares?

When I was seventeen I really wanted to be better in english.
So I wont sound stupid.
Who cares?

When I was eighteen I chose to be lone ranger .
Because a stupid guy made a bet on me.
Who cares?

When I was twenty second I thought my world would end.
The imbalance had killed my energy.
Who cares?

Now I am twenty four,
Still being nobody.
Who cares?

STOP!

Confident cares!

It helped you!
It has been helping you ever since.

You could ride your bicycle without training wheels despite the scratches,
It was confident.

You spoke out for permission never mind the tears,
It was confident.

You started to talk, and making friends with those two Indians boys.
It was confident.

You worked hard, your drawings got everyone's attention.
It was confident.

You managed to do the laundries, to iron your clothes, to stand up yourself.
It was confident.

You didn't give up hoping, so you get selected to you number 1 boarding school.
It was confident.

Asking tourists if they needed help, they didn't laugh because of your broken english and you're practicing more and more.
It was confident.

The stupid guy came and asking for your forgiveness because of his silliness and was grateful you didn't take revenge.
It was confident.

You prayed and rehab and  kept your spirit high that you'll manage to go through the illnesses.
It was confident.

Even being nobody at your 24th, you still working hard now.
It is confident.

I've been through all the upside down in my life but never stop trying,
I don't know what the future holds but  I wont stop hoping,
I will keep the way I am, the who I am...

... because I'm confident enough every cloud has a silver lining.

Thanks to the simple yet meaningful word

CONFIDENT

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent," 

~Eleanor Roosevelt

That's how it changed my life.

And worth the battles.

Kita Kita

Bila orang putih cakap melayu dengan tatabahasa yang betul,
Kita orang melayu kata wow, hebat sungguh!

Tapi bila kita orang melayu cakap melayu dengan tatabahasa yang betul,
Kita orang melayu kata ek eleh sasterawan ke apa?

Bila orang putih cakap melayu tunggang tebalik,
Kita orang malayu kata bagusnya diorang mencuba bahasa kita.

Tapi bila kita orang melayu cakap melayu tunggang terbalik,
Kita orang melayu kata ni la dia, tak sayang bahasa!

Bila orang putih cakap inggeris grammar betul,
Kita orang melayu kata english dia fuhhh terbaikkkk!

Bila kita orang melayu cakap inggeris grammar betul,
Kita orang melayu kata skemmmmm gila!

Bila orang putih cakap english lintang pukang,
Kita orang melayu kata cool, man! Yaw yaw yaw!

Bila kita orang melayu cakap english lintang pukang,
Kita orang melayu kata, nak cakap omputeh kononnnnnn!

Dah tu macam mana?