Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Above all these, I can sense a lot of teaching for me to be more patient. I know everything happens, it has reason hidden!

Wuu. I don't know whether the NOKIA people did their work or not? But for sure I hate to show up my face at their branch but with different problem!  Everytime they returned my phone, the will be another problem came out. Continuously! I am so fed up and really want to curse. But having faith Allah is teaching me, I stop and Istighfar. Please, I wanna be a good girl from now on! Please do your work before I say something harsh!

I'm a migraine people. I hate lamp so much! I'd rather study with a very dim light than switch on the fluorescent. I'd rather cover the window with curtain to kill the bright than steadily feel the breezes from its open! I just hate it. It triggers my migraine and its bad to feel the throbbing pain in you either side of brain. I hate it! 

And it worst with unsettled leg, I've to climb up the ladder to sleep! I fell down twice, and I'm so afraid that my replaced ligament will tear again. I don't want to be in the operation theater anymore. Not for now at least. It's enough to feel it twice. That was the most scary memories I've ever had in my 23 years of life. 

Therefore, I asked to change room. No. I asked to move to Murni. They approved it, Alhamdulillah. By next two weeks I can pack all my stuffs and move out. But, instead of single room, they provided me double. I have no problem with that anyhow, but I'm afraid that my soon-to-be roommate will just like the bright more than I do. No, more than I never imagine wanted to!

Actually, I really want to be in Nurani though the cafe sometimes not really satisfying. I'm okay with Nurani for these near four years. I thought really deep to make decision move to Murni. Thanks ya Allah finally he showed up the way and hope it will be fulfilled. But, they will choose the active students and what I expect to be the chosen one? I can't participate actively in sports and being the final year student, there're not much (or perhaps no place?) for me to get involve this semester. Ohh. :'(

So, I apply to Nurani instead when the notice on board again. I really hope Penggawa will read my email and approve it.

I know it is such a small problem to whoever, but it is BIG to me. You'll have no idea how bad the pain is. You'll have no idea how struggle I am to put my hands on my head and push it everytime I want to talk, or laugh or even worse, cough. You'll have no idea how bad the migraine is, that require you sometimes to bump your head to the wall.

And you'll never know the feelings to be the person who was suspected to have a tumor in a brain.

I just hate light! 

Could you please give me the single room at least for this next five months, Desa? I really hope that. :'(

I'm afraid of exams this time. Not because of exams, but because of my attitude towards it. I have no guts to even take out the thinnest note and read! Oh!

I promise myself to do a lot of SABAR and I found out it is tough anyway. It's stress too. Being a girl or woman? that having less iman in her heart, it's a BIG job to be done. It's hard, but I will try. For now, it's stressing me out to stay calm when I want to shout my anger. To stay smile when I want to yell the bad words. To speak nice sentences when I want to curse. To persuade heart when I really want to burst!

I will, at least try.

I want to go back home with train! For the first time in my life, I want to try it! Tu pun stress ke? :P

The last, I'm somehow stress to answer my own question; Am I able to face all these?

p/s: Please pray for my single room. Please.