Once. Twice.

No more.

I always like people. Really. Seriously. Yes. Soooooo easy peasy. Therefore there will never be serious one. Well, I don't want one until lafaz sakinah is made for me.

But I had this one in my life that really give me the deepest cut right in my heart. Despite the pain, I thanked HIM for this so-called bad feeling as now I know how to pray to be better, to get better. Nearly ten years is not a short time to erase all the memories, no, not yet.

Not now and maybe never.

Deleting will be difficult, but to live with it is much easier.

It's good to choose the second one and it is lot better as we will never see each other and I've been praying so hard to not meeting each other; by accident or on purpose.

No. Not yet. Not now and perhaps  never.

But sometime it just happen despite how much we try not to. Another type of learning. Maybe.

"Assalamualaikum. Can come in?"

"Sure,"

"I'm Huda, the audiologist. I just come to explain the test result,"

 Looking at the face. Really familiar. Seriously familiar. Looking to the other person, and the other, one by one. I know these persons. I know them. 

"Umm, your face really looks familiar. Are you Adam's mom?"

"Yes...,"

"Oh. Umm.. I'm his friend. We were friends, long time ago,"

And mind started to play like a recording movie, the flashbacks. All were nice, but no more. Not now. Never.

"He is studying at Madinah,"

"Oh really? Good for him!"

(I know)

"We'll visit him next week,"

"Send my regards to him then,"

"He will come back early June,"

"Ohhh..."

(I know)

"Ahaaa.. this is my grandson, Akhil,"

"Nice name young boy,"

(I know)

"It's good right, studying there? You can visit Mecca anytime,"

"Yep, he's done doing hajj,"

"Really? Good for him!"

(I know)

And I know, I know, I know a lot of things that I pretend I don't know. It's difficult though.

There is someone. It just that, not now. Not yet.