Bila Fikir Fikir Balik

Dulu semua benda nak tulis. Setiap hari rasa istimewa je. Dululah. Dulu masa kat USM. Tiga tahun pertama, oh mungkin setahun pertama tak berapa menarik but yes roughly, 3 tahun pertama was so heaven. Setiap benda rasa macam benda baru. Semua benda nak abadikan dalam blog.

Okay. Now dah ada FB. Bila tengok balik, FB dah buat since tahun 1 lagi tapi apa benda rupa tak pernah tahu. FB is just one account created because somebody invited. That's it. Kan ke masa tu famous Friendster?

Bila ingat ingat balik, masa tu semua benda nak tepek kat Friendster, especially gambarlah. Tapi fungsi Friendster limited, jadinya tak adalah seghairah FB sekarang.

Sekarang, bila dah nak cecah 25 (Oh my...!), bila fikir fikir balik, bila baca baca balik, bila tenung tenung balik, euwww benda macam ni pun kau nak mengadu? Benda macam ni pun jadi bahan cerita. Tak peliklah kawan aku pernah kata masa mula mula dia baca blog aku, dia rasa aku gedik. Alah, macamlah sekarang tak, kan? Perkataan gedik tu dia bagi aku sampai sebati. Kalau dia tak cakap aku gedik, lain pulak rasa. Hahhahhaa. Dan bila fikir balik, bila makin dewasa, makin kuranglah untuk rasa enjoy tentang benda benda kecil. No wonder orang tua, makin tua. 

There's a saying said (I forgot where I read it), more or less lah; budak budak enjoy semua benda dan masa yang diorang ada, which very few adults do. No wonder adults will never look younger lah kan?

Tapi people change. The mind pun berubahlah kan? So, aku masa dulu, dengan aku masa sekarang of courselah sikit sebanyak ada berubah. Macam bila FB keluarkan previous status on this date, aku kadang kala ketawa. Olololo naifnya, tampar sedas baru tahu.

Dulu semua benda jadi perhatian, sekarang pun semua benda jadi perhatian, tinggal lagi nak speak out or jadi passive observer. Observe orang lalu lalang, observe doktor doktor, observe another staffs, observe patients of course, observe bloggers, observe Facebookers, observe yang paling penting, diri sendiri.

Aku bahagikan pada dua, bila observe orang yang bergerak, orang atau makhluk dalam dimensi 3D, itu observe hidup. Observe alam maya, itu silent observation. Dulu masa kelas psikologi, ada soalan dari pensyarah aku. Not really soalan lah, dia suruh student dia bagitahu 2 kelebihan diri sendiri. When  my turn came to me I told him.

"I am creative and I can read people,"

Statement first tak adalah undang benda benda tak best not that the second point will, it just when my lecturer said that I can't judge a book by its cover, I knew immediately that I shouldn't say that. Simple. Don't be different. Don't tell different. Don't act different. 

Kadang kadang kita lupa, people somehow is predictable. Kan?

Predictable like what happen now. All the final year PPSKs dah start their theses. Especially my juniors, the FB wall mostly all about the theses. Is it predictable? Okay, few weeks earlier, kebanyakan rakyat FB akan mula borak atau tulis status regarding konvo (including me), will upload photos, giggles all over and banggg! Yep, it happened! Is it predictable? And USM buka, medical students start mengeluh regarding the timetables, the postings and banggg! It happened too. Is it predictable?

It is. Itu for my silent observation.  

This is excludedlah kan for those Facebookers' yang keep on posting hari ni makan nasi bersama husband (Aww awak je ada husband), esok nak keluar jejalan (there is no other day but tomorrow), lusa nak balik kampung (hello pencuri, help yourself!).

Ini untuk pengamatan hidup. It is predictable too. Macam aku jalan dengan orang tak suka aku, I can sense it. We all can sense it. Atau orang marah kita, even that people tak buka mulut sepatah pun, kita boleh rasa. Kita boleh predict perasaan dia. Itu sebab dalam bahasa, dia bukan hanya ada bahasa, bahasa. Kita ada bahasa tubuh, bahasa mata, bahasa mulut. Almost semua orang boleh faham bahasa selain bahasa bahasa, kecuali orang ada penyakit macam Right Hemisphere Syndrom, tu lain.

The different is level setiap orang membaca bahasa bahasa tersebut. And that level can only be gained by massive observations. So, I questioned myself, when I told my lecturer that I can read people, was I wrong?

I don't think so. Well, maybe I'm wrong. Not that can-read-people wrong, but the level is not that high like he has. Well, he is a counselor for goodness's sake!

Oh not that I'm angry to him okay. My point is, the predictable now becomes unpredictable to me. My point is, bila kita fikir fikir balik (like the above tittle), how time really change us. How time really really really ...

You fill in the blank-lah.

Predictable kan? Dah 3 minggu konvo, upload tetap upload!

I miss my lecturer. This lecturer.