CooL?

Memoria

2012-02-16T22:39:00.001+08:00

"Huda, can you come to my room kejap?

Dup dap dup dap.

"Sure,"

Slowly following the footsteps.

"This is ~~handsome~~ medical student. Dia buat attachment dekat ENT. Now, for today, he will be with you. I want him to observe hearing assessments for pediatric. Tomorrow I'll ask him and if he can't answer, then jaga you,"

Sengih.

"Insyallah,"

"Now, you'll be following her okay?"

Angguk.

"Come to my room, I'll show you then,"

Out of sudden, aku rindu USM. Kalau budak medik datang, mana ada sorang sorang ni; segerombolan terus. Sekarang, jumpa sorang (once in a while), happy. Rasa zaman belajar balik sekejap. Sekejap pun jadilah. Sehari pun tak apa.

"Awak boleh cakap melayu kan?"

"Boleh,"

"Saya terang dalam bahasa melayu eh? Saya bukan fasih sangat pun,"

Ingat pesan Dr. R; Rendah diri, sabar, buat kerja semua kerana Allah.

"Okay, saya rasa saya dah terang semua. Ada soalan?"

"Erm, bunyi dia macam mana doktor,"

"Saya bukan doktorlah, saya audiologis,"

Senyum.

"Okay, awak jadi patient saya. Saya akan buat semua test, so awak boleh alami dan mudah faham, senang ingat. Nanti next time, atau kalau Dr. tanya, awak boleh jawab,"

"Boleh,"

I did all the tests. I answered all the questions. I explained all the reasons, and suddenly my heart cried; I want to be a lecturer and yet... I'm still here.

Aku Serius Weh!

2012-02-15T21:55:00.004+08:00

Hhahahahhaa. Sekarang bila aku fikir-fikir balik, macam kelakar pulak. Gila berani beb. Semalam, aku berborak dengan salah seorang anak Prof, lecturer kesayangan aku. Asalahnya borak pasal benda lain, kemudiannya, biasa le, kalau aku berborak dengan dia ni macam-macam cerita boleh keluar. Ni berlaku since zaman belajar dulu.

Dalam banyak banyak topik, aku ada cerita seriusnya aku nak cari pasangan kan before? Hahhahahaha. Tiba-tiba terkeluar pulak semalam.

"Saya rasa saya dah fikirlah, saya nak kahwin,"

"Awak serius ke?"

"Seriuslah. Saya nampak main-main ke?"

"Saya tanya betul ni,"

"Ye, serius,"

Aku fikir kejap, ye, aku memang serius. Lagipun aku dah 25 tahun, dah tua. Hoho.Dan aku malas nak jawab soalan mak aku, let alone orang kampung. ~~Apa kau ingat kawen ni main main, Huda?~~

"Kalau awak serius, saya bagitahu ayah saya. Dia suka kalau orang nak bina masjid ni,"

"Alaa segannya,"

"Okay, saya bagitahu mak saya,"

"Alaaa segan jugak,"

"Haaaa... adik ipar saya,"

Since aku tak kenal sangat, actually pernah jumpa borak-borak, cuma tak de lah rapat sangat, aku pun... hmmmm.

"Bolehlah,"

"Insyallah saya sampaikan,"

"Heee... Insyallah. Doakan ajelah,"

"Amiinnnnnnnnn!"

Sekarang aku macam musykil, aku ni biar betul?

I am a Mommy Now!

2012-02-14T19:22:00.003+08:00

Hahhahaaa. Tajuk nak vogue. Semua orang masa zaman kecik kecik kan mesti ada geng dalam berkawan. Kan Kan Kan? Aku macam tu jugak. Dulu kalau korang pernah baca entry aku pasala kawan sampai syurga, korang ingatlah. Itu pun kalau korang ingat.

Hhahahhaha.

Tu bukan ceritanya anyway.

Kawan aku dalam geng kawan samapi syurga selamat melahirkan anak sulung. Masa belajar dulu-dulu, kitorang dah janji, bila dapat anak, otomatik semuanya akan jadi mak angkat. Hahhahaha. Now, my friend, Timah, dah selamat menjadi ibu, semua rebut gelaran.

Well, aku dari dulu nak mommy. Even kalau aku dapat anak saudara, aku akan bahasakan diri mommy. Aku rasa comel. ~~Terpengaruh dengan novel english padaha~~l. Kekekke.

This cute little baby girl nama Nur Syifa' Mardhiah now has 5 moms now! Ibu for Fatimah, her biological mom.

So, this is Umi Thia and Mama Zati.

And two others, Kak In and Nad need to think another nick name. Bonda mungkin? Kekkekkee.

And now, ehemmm... presenting the new mom....

Mommy Huda!

~~Aku punya blog haruslah nama aku besar.~~

Dear Diary: Wish

2012-02-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today is a beautiful day. At least up to the moment I am writing now. Well, there are 7 quotes that I put in front of my room's door, and one of that really inspired me to stay strong; I don't own all the problems and what others think is none of my business.

Which work, sometimes.

My clinic (if my rezeki is not here than it will be not mine) has a very nice view. Very nice. It's facing the KLCC twin tower, with the clear blue sky and flying birds sometimes that make it more cheerful.

I love to stare in the emptiness of the blue color. It exactly looks like a plain blue canvas, I wish I can show you but I won't. Sometime, my finger dancing with one of my eyes closed to get the exact point, pretending I'm touching the top of the KLCC building.

It is childish, I know, but it works too sometimes.

And then I try to imagine, what will it looks like at the night, The pitch black night. Will the stars be visibly clear and the sky will be amazingly beautiful with it shines? I don't know but I believe, at night, looking out from my clinic's transparent window, it will be incredibly wonderful.

How I wish I can stay sometimes but well No! I won't. I am afraid of hospital and no, I wont because it's enough to spend the whole day. Isn't? What a lifeless day if 24/7 be in the hospital?

So, I will pretending at the other place then.

Till meet the next pen. So bye-bye for now.

Sigh

2012-02-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

I used to write. I write when I am happy. I write when I'm angry. I write when I'm sad. I write when I'm desperate. I write when I feel uneasy. I write when I'm guilty. I write when I'm ashamed. I write for sure when I'm scared.

And yes, I have all those feeling mixed up now. Right now. And I have no idea how should I handle it. Well, I read the psychosomatic thing, that you'll be having the ilnesses even you're not that ill. Like upset stomach, sore throat, headache, so on and so on.

I frequently noseous and in my stomach, I can feel there's a hole. It is small but getting larger when my feeling isn't settling. It's upsetting.

And I don't know how to continue now. Can I get married?

Seriously?

2012-02-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hek hek hek.

Dalam klinik tempat aku kerja ada masalah bunyi aircond tiba-tiba kuat. Biasalah, kalau dah nama nak cek kau dengar ke tak, haruslah bilik sunti sepi. Jadinya, bila jadi macam ni, aku mati kutu. Maka terpaksalah menelefon mereka yang sepatutnya naik melawat.

Datang dua pekerja, sorang kurus sorang gaya rambut dan tubuh badan sejibik macam Hafiz si Awan Nano, rambut menggerbang pakai cekak. Kalau korang kenallah Hafiz tu (pssttt aku pun baru kenal kekekke). Makanya mereka berdua membaikilah dan okay.

Namun aku perasan, masa first time dia nampak aku dan ketika dia baik, mulut tak berhenti nyanyi lagu Najwa Latiff, Cinta Muka Buku.

Aku senyum sendiri sambil dan terdetik ololololo hepi benar baik aircond.

"Kak, tandatangan boleh?"

"Mana?"

"Kat sini. Ni tanda kitornag buat kerja,"

Arghh. Esoknya pagi-pagi aku sampai klinik, berbunyi lagi. Maka terpaksalah aku menelefon kembali dan datanglah juga dua orang manusia ni lahi.

"Sori lah akak kena panggil awak lagi. Bunyi bising,"

"Tak pe kak, takpe,"

Aku kembali ke meja dan....

"Kita berkenalan dalam laman muka buku, kau hantar pesan suruh aku terima kamu ooo oooo,"

Sekali lagi aku layankan aja dan senyum.

Selang dua hari, klinik berbunyi lagi. Berasap jugak kepala aku ni tapi tak apalah. Nama pun orang baru, nak buat lebih lebih memang tak lah.

"Boleh hantar technician naik tak? Bilik ni aircond kuat semula. Maaflah selalu complain,"

Actually tak perlu pun aku minta maaf. Tapi. agaknya peribadi aku macam tu kot. Tak sampai hati.

"Awak, awat selalu jadi macam gini?"

Uishhh. Now lagi kelakar. Kalau salah seorang tengah bercakap dengan aku, yang satu lagi akan nyanyi lagu si Najwa Latif. Kiranya setiap kali aku bercakap, akan ada background muziklah. Kalau terjumpa sekitar hospital, dia boleh berhenti tanya khabar kau dan dalam masa yang sama background musik Cinta Muka Buku tu tak lekang.

Tapi aku tak ambil pusing pun. Agaknya mamat dua orang ni minat gila dengan lagu tu. Sampailah Sabtu, klinik bising kembali.

"Banyak persoalan yang bermain di minda, banyak tanda tanya dan juga kata kerja..."

Aku senyum.

"Akak, akak nak tahu sesuatu tak?"

"Apanya?"

"Gaya akak macam Najwa Latif lah,"

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA.

Aku gelak besar.

"Najwa Latif muda, akak dah tua,"

"Betul kak, gaya akak macam Najwa Latif,"

"Oooo sebab tu lah awak selalu nyayi lagi tu bila jumpa akak?"

"Hehhehehhehe,"

Aku pandang muka dia sebab aku nak tergelak. Entah celah mana macam Najwa Ltif pun aku tak tahu dan tetiba aku terasa nak kenakan dia balik.

"Apa apa je lah Awan Nano,"

"Eh?"

Like Seriously?

Kirenye aku comellah macam tu kan? Hahhahaa.

Bisakah

2012-02-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

Finally, the first tear dropped down...

I know how stupid I am,

How clueless I am,

How bad I am...

I know.

And,

It hurts...

... [31]

2012-02-01T09:33:00.001+08:00

Somehow I really hate that I can't share stories here like I used to.

Cycle

2012-01-31T14:03:00.002+08:00

To get used, to understand, to keep on track, to be patient, to laugh, to be yourself and to train yourself, to... get used.

It's a cycle. Continuously. Life too, it is a cycle. That's why it has been called a cycle since day one I breath. Cycle has no end, perhaps it does have but attach to each other's end and make the end invisible.

I have no friend here, no no, I have. It just different from friends that I used to have. My friends normally share longer time than I have here. The friends that sometime share the same clothes, sleep on the same bed, cry on each other's shoulder, and laugh for goodness know how sincere it sounds.

It faded away.

Everyday I pray, Oo Allah give me husband (that's sound weird but to call it as 'jodoh' in my dua'a it doesn't sound weird anyway). A man whom can I call friend (permanent maybe? I'll be sharing 24-hour friend will I?), can chat and complain and laugh and cry... together.

Exactly like I did with all my bestfriends.

Did?

The past tense that sound even weirder now.

Cry.

ju

2012-01-27T12:30:00.001+08:00

-.-"

2012-01-16T21:45:00.002+08:00

ARGHHH!!!

Okay babai.

Tak Ada Kerja

2012-01-08T00:34:00.002+08:00

Euwww. Pleaselah!

Hahahhahaha. Mula-mula nak marah lepas tu kelakar. Macam-macam. Haish. Rindu amat pada Kelantan, tapi bila fikir sakitnya, terselit juga, kalau balik apa jadi? Awak, sampai hati awak unfriend kite pastu awak cakap macam gitu. Tskkk. Rasa macam nak, heh mari duduk semeja tomoi bersama?

Kecik ati.

Untung ada blog, boleh luahkan perasaan hati kat sini. Kekkekeke.

...

2012-01-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

Shine my day, oh please....

Tahun Baru Dah?

2012-01-02T23:35:00.002+08:00

Oh, dah tahun baru ek?

Sesetengah orang meraikannya. Sesetengah orang, tidak. Macam aku. Tahun baru, hari lahir, ianya hanyalah pertukaran satu hari yang aku tak ambil pusing sangat. But then, yeap, I do hope for something better.

Oh tahun ni aku harap, ada orang melamar aku. Jadinya, tak payahlah susah-susah aku kena sengih sengih setiap kali orang tanya, haaa adiknya pengantin bila lagi?

Hahahahhahahah!

---

Adalah menjadi kebiasaan pertanyaan sebegini diutarakan kepada seorang gadis dipertengahan usia 20-an. Yang ni aku olah mengikut keadaan dan situasi akulah kan. Kalau situasi laki, aku tak tau. Ye lah, man's life begins at 30 lah kan. Hee.

Okay. Why it is seriously bothers us.

Apart from weight, this is hohohoho very sensitive issue (untuk orang-orang macam akulah, debok and single). Kekkeke. Jadi masyarakat kat luar sana, marilah aku menterjemahkan persoalan mengapa mengikut pandangan dan persepsi aku, hamba yang hina.

Ecehhh.

Wanita ni, dunia dia bila habis belajar NORMALNYA (normal aku emphasize besar besar) adalah keluarga. Jadi bila dia dah habis belajar, tak ada calon lagi, maka adalah satu kerunsingan besar apatah lagi kalau sentiasa disogok sogok soalan berbaur hai cik adik, bila lagi?

Mungkin sipenanya tak berniat pun (memang selalu tidak, somehow saja jadi asama garam berbasa basi ramah tamah), but then hati yang ditanya ni.. haih, macam bunyi, awat hang tak laku laku ni?

Oh makkkkkk.

Tendency manusia adalah suka mencompare-compare. Tak kiralah siapa, hatta aku sendiri. Kalau bab-bab macam ni, tipulah kau sebagai perempuan tak terasa bila kawan-kawan kau dah berumah tangga. Oh let alone lah kalau dah beranak pinak sweet je bila dengar ala anak mama sayangggg.

Kan?

Adalah sukar mengalihkan panggilan nama apabila anda tidak berkeluarga. Seperti aku, despite umur aku baru (?) 24, muka aku macam 30-an. Kesian. Dan ramai orang membahasakan anak-anak mereka kepada aku sebaga 'aunty'. Itu peralihan yang besar kerana keadaan ini menjadi peralihan zaman yang belum berlaku tapi dipaksa berlaku. Zaman 'cik' dan zaman 'mak'.

Bunyi aunty memang nice. Tapi mak cik macam, bukan tua, cuma pelik untuk aku yang perangai pun bertukar lagi dengan budak patbelastahun. Tapi, aku tak kisah pun sebab dah get used sangat bahasa aunty/makcik dari zaman belajar.

Agaknya tu sebab panggilan 'makcik' digunakan. Mak, merujuk kepada taraf kau dan 'cik' sebab kau tak kahwin lagi. Kekekkekeke.

Okay, now being realistic. Kita, wanita wanita hebat (yang selalu sangat dikaitkan dengan emosi), haruslah buka mata buka hati. Kita kena redha dan fikir, Allah duga kita belum berjodoh sebab dia tahu kita belum bersedia. Allah kurniakan kita masih sendiri, sebab DIA nak kita merintih meminta kat Dia. Dia suka orang minta, serah diri, rasa hamba. Kita kena yakin, sebab kan jodoh salah satu perkara Allah dah tentukan sebelum kita uwek uwek atas dunia lagi.

Dan, mungkin Dia tengah merancang seseorang untuk kita cumanya masa belum tiba? Who knows?

Sebab tu jangan lekang berdoa,

"Rabbana, hablana min azwajina, wazuriyyatina qurrata'ayun, waj'alna lilmuttaqina imama,"

Okay sweetheart?

Oh, kalau ada yang dah melekat kat seseorang tapi samar samar jalannya, pun kena berdoa.

"Ya Allah,

Jika benar kau taqdirkan dia (nama dialah ouch!) baik untukku,

Baik untuk agamaku,

Baik untuk dunia dan akhiratku,

Dekatkanlah,

Permudahkanlah,

Jadikanlah dia suami yang mampu mendidikku,

Ayah yang mendidik anak-anakku,

Namun jika tidak Ya Allah,

Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku,

Dan,

Gantikanlah dengan yang lebih baik..."

Tapi, kalau orang macam aku asal tengok orang je jatuh hati, aku tak tahulah maqbul ke tak doa aku ni. Rambang mata. :P

Alright bebs? Tak apa, jodoh belum sampai. Tak dinafikan itu maslaah, tapi bukan kiamat kehidupan. Kan sweetie?

Jom, cari jodoh? Atau ada yang nak rekemenkan aku so takyah lah susah susah aku nak sengih sengih menjawab di tahun baru.

Ehemmm!

Imaginasi

2011-12-28T05:32:00.001+08:00

Common sangat budak-budak kecil ada imaginasi. Eh, budak budak besar pun ada cuma macam terhad. Aku lain. Imaginasi aku over, sebab tu aku paranoid pada banyak benda dan perkara. Sebab tu aku selalu dapat mimpi, peluh merenek atas dahi. Sebab tu walaupun usia aku dah nak membongkok tua, imaginary friends aku masih setia. Sebab tu tengah tengah aku kena lecture, boleh kena tegur heh, Huda dah sampai mana? Sebab tu kalau aku buat kerja, aku suka kerja yang fokus, sebab aku boleh fikir macam-macam di pertengahan jalan.

Ye.

Cerita tak berapa nak manfaat perihal imaginasi.

Masa aku kecik kecik dulu, area lapan, sembilan tahun, aku kenal satu hidupan. Spora. Aku tak tahu mana aku dapat tahu perihal spora atau macam mana rupa bentuknya. Yang aku tahu, spora adalah berbahaya. Yang macam haaaa kau hidu dia, matilah kauuuuu!

Macam tulah.

Then satu hari aku nampaklah bintik-biktik putih pada tali buaian adik aku and immediately aku tahu itu spora. Satu hari mak aku basuhlah tali tu.

"Mana tali tu?"

"Mak basuh,"

"Mak basuh?"

Senyap. Masuk bilik terus duduk berdoa (ek enen naif ohhh), sambil berair-air mata. Takut gila oh. Terasa macam spora tu akan makan segala organ mak aku. Asal teringat, nangis. Kalau mak batuk sikit, terus over-concerned takut takut keluar darah ke apa.

Aku tak tahu kalau ini termasuk dalam cerita imaginasi (aku rasa iya).

Kenapa imaginasi masa budak-budak sungguh naif, tapi bertukar seratoslapanpuloh dorjah bila besar?

Aku nak olah tapi aku malas.

Babai.

Yawnnnn!

2011-12-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

Tutup mulut masa menguap.

Haih. Mahu merepek apa? Nak review buku.
Yawn!

Nak membebel?
Yawn!

Nak mengeluh.
Yucks!

Hahhahaa.

Hallo peeeps. Hai handsome, pretty sekalian.

~

2011-12-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

To let go isn't easy.
But...

POSSIBLE!

Fikir Dulu

2011-12-14T16:50:00.002+08:00

Aku rasa kalau aku tulis ni, aku pun sama bodoh, tapi tak apalah. Hahhahahhaha. Kan ke dulu aku ada cerita yang kenapa kita suka salahkan Yahudi bila umat Islam rosak akhlak? Now, aku rasa aku nak komen satu benda lain lagi yang tak ada kena mengena (mungkin) tapi tak apalah.

Aku pernah tanya pada seorang ustaz ni bila dia cakap satu benda pasal berhati-hati dengan benda-apa-aku-lupa, tapi yang pasti perhal yahudilah. Simple, soalan aku, mana ustaz tahu?

And jawapannya, saya kaji.

Errr?

Sungguh tak relevan antara jawapan-saya-kaji dengan statement yang dikeluarkan.

Fine aku cetek ilmu dan aku malas nak dicop sesat so, fine.

Bila aku tak setuju, aku tinggalkan. Simple. Kalau kita sama naik, maknanya kita sama bodoh. That's it. Macam tu juga kalau kita tak puas hati, instead of berbengkeng, apa kata cari sumber lain dulu?

Because it is soooo hard; agree to disagree.

Well, dulu aku suka sangat menegakkan benda aku rasa benar yang aku tahu habis-habisan. Dulu, masa zaman study. Those yang kenal aku, tahulah. Tapi bila dah melangkah keluar zaman belajar formal, dan dah jumpa orang yang boleh buat kau sakit otak, sometimes, stay silent and stay away works!

Sometimes my mouth so itching to say something, tapi masa tu juga otak aku rational, that's it that's it that's it! Wonderfulkan, untuk terus senyum dan terima? Fuh, very wonderful! Aku rasa kejayaan besar bila ditegur, dinasihatkan, aku boleh dengar dan belajar. Bangga.

So now, the point of this entry.

‎"Agree to disagree,"

HAHAHAHAHA. Kadang-kadang kelakar, bung bang cakap, tapi terpalit ludah sendiri. Tak kisahlah ustaz ke, rakyat biasa ke, ilmuwan ke, yang penting... akal.

Dulu masa tengok laman sosial, aku rasa fun sangat. Fun nak tulis macam-macam, tapi fun tu lama-lama hilang. Manusia kan mudah bosan. Itu tak apa lagi, tapi kemanakah hala tuju fun tu akhirnya?

Bercerai-Berai

Oh tak payah cakaplah kat mana, Malaysia saja dah cukup bukti. Dalam baiknya laman sosial menghimpunkan semua kenalan zaman merangkak sampailah zaman bertongkat, buruknya tetap ada. Jumpa kekasih lama?

Ouch!

Menunjukkan Keangkuhan

Ini antara sedar atau tidak, atau antara sengaja atau tidak. Kalau dalam kalangan rakyat jelata macam aku, tak apa lagi. Tapi kalau dalam golongan ilmuwan, hmmmm? Mari kita beri satu contoh.

"Oh terima kasih ya Allah, dapat aku tolong orang buta melintas,"

Like seriously??! Oh, kau terima kasih kat laman sosial, siapa yang baca. No no no. Motif awal-awal lagi kau tulis? Okay, kau tak berniat pun nak riak kau tolong orang buta, kau just nak orang contoh. Alhamdulillah. Aku pun used to nak share ridiculous thing (to me it is), bila makin tua ni, macam macam fikir. Kita kan kena ikhlas buat kerja, baru ikhlas tu diterima, kan peeps?

Satu lagi yang menunjukkan keangkuhan adalah bila kita tak setuju dengan orang, maka kita tulis terang-terangan. Tak kiralah kau siapa, kadang-kala apa yang kita tulis, orang lain tak setuju (mungkin tak faham), tapi bila kita acknowledge dalam bentuk emosi (of course kita deny kita emosi), apa perasaan orang yang menulis yang hakikatnya mungkin dia hanya perlukan penerangan.

Ini golongan ustaz-ustazah kena ambil extra cautious perihal sabar dalam menjawab, orang boleh tahu anda melenting dalam menulis walaupun hujungnya smiley!

Menunjukkan Kebodohan

Oh sungguh terang tak perlu bersuluh. Kita tak setuju dengan seseorang, dan kita terganggu dengan kehadiran dia yang dalam masa yang sama, kita tahu dia juga terganggu dengan tulisan kita yang asalanya mungkin memberi ilmu (?). Maka, ada komen kita yang tercuit hati maka merajuklah ia.

"Hidelah status kalau macam tu,"

"Button unfriend kan ada?"

"Terima kasih kepada si polan bin polan (ni tag okay, tulisan kaler biru) kerana akhirnya unfriend saya dengan sukarela,"

What-the-heck?! Kau bersyukur dia remove, perlu ke kau simbah petrol dalam api rajukan dengan tulis besar besar jelas jelas kesyukuran kau itu? Sungguh tak profesional, apatah lagi menunjukkan kebodohan dalam meluahkan. Kemudian hadirlan batu batu berapi (mungkin tanpa niat) memujuk biarkanlah dia, ambil haluan sendiri. Kitapun jawab,

"I okay you, tak faham betul kenapa nak emosi emosi ni,"

Seriously? Kau tulis kesyukuran kau besar besar, kemudian tak emosi? Tarik nafas, hembus, tarik, hembus, cuba fikir semula, dalam kita rasa kita cerdik, ops, kita pun bodoh sama?

Menghasilkan Puak
Ni lepak je untuk nobody macam aku, tapi kalau somebody macam ilmuan, bahaya. Orang yang bertanya dengan kita lain tingkatan fahamannya. Kadang-kala kita dah jelas sehabis baik, tapi mungkin dia tak faham. Orang bila tak faham, angin dia satu macam, maka kita yang cerdik pandai ni lah seharusnya meaminkan peranan meredakan, bukan sama naik.

Datang pula seorang yang bertanya dan alhamdulillah dia memahami dengan sekali petik. Kita pun bersyukur lalu membalas, cakap dengan you lagi bagus, cepat tangkap cepat faham!

Bayangkan perasaan si polan pertama yang bertanya? Jangan zahirkan ayat-ayat menusuk begitu. Kita cerdik, maka kita mengajar, bukan menyindir. Kita tidak sedar (mungkin), tapi itu bukan alasan. Pasti tiada siapa mahu terasa di diletakkan dalam puak yang hmmm tidak bijak?

Melipat-gandakan Salah Sangka

Ini contoh mudah orang yang gatal tangan nak bagitahu benda lepas tu, hujungnya tergantung. Pertama, kalau kau bukan sesiapa, tak apa. Kedua, itu annoying, bila kau meluahkan perasaan marah kecewa, bila orang baca banyak spekulasi. Ketiga, entah fikir sendiri.

Sayang, kan kita kena jauhkan dari menimbulkan fitnah?

Kan aku kata entry ni menunjukkan kebodohan aku juga, sebab aku pernah juga buat benda yang sama, ingat atau tidak je persoalannya.

Okay, sekian terima kasih.

Tahan Diri

2011-12-11T11:29:00.001+08:00

Masa zaman Friendster, trend berkongsi cara Friendster. Sekarang zaman Facebook, phewwww... trend berkongsi sungguh melampau. Kalau yang sweet comel tu boleh dimaafkan sebab tak bagi kesan pada sesiapa dengan cara negatif.

Tapi?

Pelbagai perkongsian yang beberapa peratus sahaja yang ilmiah (ada juga ilmiah negatif geng geng illuminati heee), yang lain?

Kenapa tidak boleh/tidak digalakkan?

Menyakiti Hati Sesama Manusia.

Tak kisahlah kau Islam ke siapa, terutamanya Islamlah (kan kita dah diajar terang terang adab dan akhlak?). Kadang-kadang kita berkongsi, kita tidak tahu kita sedang menyakiti dalam diam. Contohnyalah, kita dapat video orang panjat bangunan KBMall pastu threatening nak bunuh diri, then kita pun haaa rakam rakam rakam post rightaway kat FB. Kita rasa lepak lepak je, ala orang lain buat tak pe. Macam orang makan taik, kau makan jugaklah kan? Then, kita sebarkan.

Kita lupa, satu hari nanti, mungkin orang yang kita rakam dan pos itu insaf dan menyesal, tapi kesan dari sebaran tu? Sempat ke kita nak cari dia minta maaf. Ye, kita tak berniat, tapi kita memang terang-terang dah sakitkan hati. Dia salah, dia dengan tuhan. Kita siapa?

Menyebarkan Berita Palsu

Ini khas untuk orang yang main share je tak tengok mana hala sumber betul ke tidak. Mungkin niat kita nak orang lain tahu tu mulia, tapi lagikan kalau nak buat assigment cari sumber dari internet pun kena double-checked, ini kan kalau melibatkan hal hal lebih serius?

Kita baca, boleh. Tapi sebelum tangan gatal nak klik share tu, fikir dulu. Betul ke nak share? Boleh ke nak share? Okey, peeps?

Mensukahatikan Hak Privasi

Ni satu hal. Yang ni memang ampun tak boleh maaf. Kau pakai tudung, aurat terjaga. Kawan kau tak. Satu hari, kau bangun tengok tengok ada gambar ditag (lagi horror kau tak private kan tagged pics), kau tak pakai tudung?!

What the????! Apa perasaaan? Tu contoh senanglahkan. Sama juga benda-benda lain, kita rasa amik gambar suka-suka hati dalam bilik kawan kita and upload nak tunjukkan kita tengah happy bersama. Kita lupa, kita secara tidak langsung tengah mensukahatikan benda mungkin orang lain MUNGKIN tak suka. Dan dan tag pulak kawan kawan yang lain. Haaaa?

Itu satu hal, ini ingatan untuk mereka mereka yang berada dalam line deal dengan orang lain. Kalau ada masa mungkin boleh baca isu CLEO bulan ni perihal kau boleh kena buang kerja sebab FB. Bagus isu tu, buat kita pandang mata. Dan aku dalam lane kesihatan, aku suka nak ingatkan kadang kadang kita tak sedar kita dah across the ethics, sebar gambar patient, actually mungkin kita tak berniat pun, tapi background belakang kita ambil ringan, share betapa excited kita buat begitu begini dengan details patient, share dengan nama kawan kawan lain. Kan kita belja ethics kan ladies and guys sekalian?

Merosakkan Kesihatan

Hah? Overlah kau ni Huda sampai merosakkan kesihatan segala!

Iye. Kau tengok video yang hujung jalan bangggg gambar hantu? Tu tak kira kalau kau pakai headphone max volume? Kau tak perasan jantung kau berdegup kencang? Kau tak perasan adrenaline kau meluncur laju. Kau sihat tak apalah.

Kalau yang kau share, yang tukang tengok sakit jantung? Ehemmm. Mungkin kau tak kisah kot kalau dalam surat mati ada tulis.

Punca kematian: Serangan jantung kerana menonton video dikongsikan oleh si polan polan.

Menjaga Hak Asasi

Ni aku tak perlu teranglah kot. Ni trend baru berlaku beberapa hari ni. Orang terjun kolam terhantuk ke apa, pastu muka pecah. Heh, seminggulah nightmares aku nampaknya. Tu tak masuk lagi guna ayat mulia kekuasaan-Allah semua untuk nampak sebaran tu halal. Tak. Tu dah kira dua kali salah. Salah sebarkan, salah mempergunakan.

Cuba fikir perasaan keluarganya? Lagipun kan akhlak ajar jangan sebarkan benda benda tak baik? Semua orang ada hak dia, bila kita intrude masuk, samalah macam kita menafikan hak dia. Kan? Kau kita kat tempat dia? Tu belum kira kalau melibatkan aib, contoh kawan tidur berdengkur kita post untuk ketawa-ketawa, hmmm~

Kadang kala Allah dah tutup aib kita, alih alih kita yang bangga cakap habis tu cane?

Ni mungkin sebahagian. Aku rasa benda benda macam ni common sense, tapi manusia manusia hari ni macam lack of common sense pun ada. Benda ni tak payah diingatkan sebab normal manusia akan ada terselit atau terlintas perasaan eh tak boleh ni. But most of the time, kita ignore.

Jadi saling mengingatkan adalah terbaik. :)

Review: Growing Up Bin Laden

2011-12-09T16:37:00.000+08:00

"There will be always two sides of flipping coin. Same goes to every story,"

Sejak tahun 2001 ketika peristiwa Pentagon dirempuh, saya sering tertanya-tanya bagaimanakah kehidupan isteri dan anak-anak Osama bin Laden? Pertanyaan itu menjadi rahsia tersimpan tiada jawapan.Akhirnya saya menemui buku ini setelah 10 tahun menyimpan soalan!

Growing Up Bin Laden memaparkan bagaimana liku-liku anak-anak Osama membesar dan isteri-isterinya, namun difokuskan lebih kepada isteri pertama dan anak keempatnya dalam buku ini. Kisah benar sebagaimana yang diceritakan oleh salah seorang anak Osama, Omar dan isteri pertamanya, Najwa adalah cerita dari satu pihak lagi yang tidak pernah bersuara didunia. Beberapa fakta telah dilengkapkan/dibetulkan/pandangan tersendiri dilontarkan oleh Jean Sasson penulis buku ini yang juga merupakan penulis bestseller Princess.

Teringinkah anda mengetahui bagaimana budaya pergaulan lelaki dan perempuan, suami dan isteri, anak dan ayah dari beberapa negeri timur tengah?Apakah perasaan anda menjadi isteri seorang jutawan kemudian berubah menjadi masih isteri jutawan namun hidup dalam suasana yang bukan seumpamanya. Bagaimanakah seorang isteri membesarkan anak-anak apabila dinafikan segala kemodenan dan perlu hidup luar dari norma alam rumah tangga?Apakah keperitan menjadi seorang anak pejuang, berumahkan istana luasnya, namun terhad langkah merdeka? Pernahkah anda dibesarkan dalam kehidupan dimana perkataan 'tidak', tidak boleh ada dalam kamus hidup seorang anak?

Jika anda berminat perihal sejarah namun mahukannya dalam bentuk cerita, selamilah buku ini. Jika anda mahu merasakan perit peperangan tanpa perlu melalui pedihnya, hadamilah buku ini!

---

That's the formal part. Actually, aku post review buku ni dekat Nasi Lemak Kopi O which I doubted lah kan depa akan baca. Politik bebs politik. Well, I think otherwise. Kalaulah hidup ni senang bila nak tau kebenaran, sumpah tak kan ada hakim, mahkamah, peguam segala.

Tapi, nak cari kebenaran ni susah. Gila susah. In fact, kadang-kadang kita rasa betul dah apa yang kita tahu, alih alih salah? This is life.

Okay Huda, stop talking about life.

Aku jenis manusia (Urgh, I swear I'll stop talking about me me and me despite this is MY blog!), peduli-apa, aku tak boleh benda benda ditindas menindas ni. Aku tak boleh tengok benda benda kejam. Lagikan tengok Saddam kena gantung aku muntah seminggu, ni pulak kalau benda melibatkan bebudak yang aku ada melting point dalam hati once perihal budak budak dibicarakan.

Okay, back to the story.

There was during 2001, aku tingkatan satu, masa tu tengah bercuti sekolah. Aku tengok sorang-sorang tv kat ruang tamu yang out of sudden ada berita terkini. Heh? Berita terkini tengah tengah malam? Normally Berita Terkini TV3 pagi tengahari petang to those wo ask.

Aku macam aa? KLCC kah? Tapi syukur, bukan. Dan sebenarnya aku tak pernah tahu pun menatang apa Pentagon. Kamon beb, masalah dunia belum masuk dalam otak aku.

Macamlah sekarang masuk.

Tu satu hal. Then, Osama Laden jadi femes. Kontroversi sebenarnya bukan Osama yang buat. Sebenarnya Amerika sendiri kalau tak kenapa 5000 jews amik cuti that day, when the incident happened.

I doubted that.

Well, aku tak nak get attached sangat because apa apa benda yang aku fikir, will lead to nightmares. Yeap. Aku dapat setahun nightmare, repeated bad dreams regarding plane-crashed. Ridiculous, I know. Yeap. I know. Should I complaint or accept the way it happened, to me?

Baru aku baca paper semalam, Afghanistan kena bom kat 8 (kalau tak silap) tempat. Lagi pelik kes mengebom ni adalam dalam kalangan mereka sendiri. In fact, while reading this book, ironi sungguh bila baca sesama muslim boleh berperang, membunuh.

Then, no wonder muslim tak pernah menang pun zaman sekarang. Really!

Okay, this thing might be a bit controversy but truth is truth, agree to disagree is another thing. Dalam buku ni, ada satu part dimana satu ketua dengan bangganya berkata, kita tanam dadah ni bukan untuk kita, tapi nak jual pada American so biar rakyat jelata depa rosak akhlak, rosak kesihatan.

Ahaaa.. yeap, terkejut gue. Kita asyik-asyik salahkan Yahudi itu ini, tapi bila aku baca kes ni, aku rasa tak salah pun apa yang aku ragu-ragu selama ni. Yang ni judge orang ni begini begini, yang sendiri buat begitu begitu halal pula? Sekali lagi, no wonder Islam tak pernah menang.

Aku perasan kita ni selalu kalau orang kita sokong, kita sokong habis-habisan, lantaklah apa dia buat. Kalau dia buat benda tak betul sekalipun, mati mati kita pertahankan. Sama juga macam orang kita benci. Kalau dah benci, gila gila kita benci. Dia buat baik pun, kita maki. Maki okay lagi. Ni bawak cerita mulut busuk, hati hanyir, tu buat tu ada maknalah tu!

Aku bukan baik sangat, sebab tu aku guna 'kita', termasuk aku sekalilah.

Memang kita tegar salahkan orang lain dari muhasabah diri. Selalu kita dengar sebab Yahudi, muslim perangai teruk. Ni semua agenda yahudilah ni. Muzik, rokok, lalai, semua Yahudi punya pasal. Tu tak termasuk semua ridiculous theory yang geng geng illuminati buat. Tolonglah. Oh come on! Kau yang tak nak ikut agama, kenapa kau nak salahkan orang lain?!

Okay, aku bukan nak menangkan mana-mana pihak. Tak. Al Quran pun dah ada terang-terang tulis (kang ada jugak orang kata aku sesat), tapi, sebabkan kau tak nak ikut agama, jangan tunding jari pada orang lain. Senang senang judge itu ini, padahal sikit pun tak nak cermin diri bila muka tercalit najis sendiri.

Sekali lagi, kalau kita sendiri sayang agama, yahudi buatlah apapun, tak akan goyah. Masalah sekarang, kita sendiri, attitude kita sendiri kena muhasabah balik.

Kan ke kita kena tepuk dada tanya iman?

Haaaa. Iman jawab apa?

p/s: Sebab dah terlampau banyak sangat buku aku dah baca, aku pilih pilih mana aku nak review dan of course, tertakluk pada tahap kerajinan aku. Teheee.

Pengajaran

2011-12-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

Sebenarnya apa beza pelajaran dengan pengajaran? Macam pengajaran yang aku terima, pelajaran yang aku terima?

Whatever.

Dulu aku ada kawan (depends on definisi kawan), aku suka dia. Aku suke apposite thoughts dia, more or less yeap, aku suka dia. Kadang-kadang lebih better kita kawan dengan orang tak ramai kawan. Somehow, safe. That's the issue now.

Safety.

Kita tend to pujuk hati, atau sebenarnya nak orang assume mungkin? Kita nak orang rasa kita tak ada apa-apa, lepak, chill! Aku, kau, kita mungkin boleh fake the feelings, fake the language-used, fake the smile, tapi boleh kau tipu diri?

Sebelum tu, tipu diri dan pujuk diri adalah dua perkara yang berbeza.

Kita tak boleh tipu diri, tapi kita selalu pujuk diri. Pasti-ada-hikmah, common phrase. Tak salah.

Back to the pelajaran atau pengajaran, which one suits well. Masa aku ada kawan yang aku suka sebab berbeza, aku ada satu perasaan macam heh, kenapa macam ni? Now, aku rasa aku dah faham. Mungkin aku dah lama faham, tapi ignore. Ignorance is bliss, kan?

He raised one issue. Actually I raised a lot than he did, but this one I remember clearly that it was from him. Purely. Ukhwah atau persahabatan muslim sort of aku lupa. Aku bukan marah, cuma aku fikir, fikir, fikir. Maybe that time I was surrounded with what so called true friends.

Yes. That's the reason.

Kita boleh ada sejuta kawan, tapi belum tentu satu pun akan stand still beside us no matter the burden we have. Pernah orang kata, bila kahwin suami/isteri itulah sahabat, teman, kawan bla bla bla. If so, why divorce?

Still aku nak kahwin someday, aku normal sekian terima kasih.

Mungkin dia tak percaya ukhwah, that's his right. Aku percaya, firmly! Ukhwah wujud, cuma nilai tu kurang dan makin lama lesap. Sebab dunia kita hidup hari ini, dunia benda. Dunia kalau kau ada sesuatu, kau boleh dapat sesuatu.

Macam sistem barter!

Ya!

Sistem barter tapi versi kejam!

So, ukhwah-ukhwah ni tolak tepi.

Aku percaya semua orang, tapi aku tak percaya kejahatan yang mungkin timbul kecuali kalau dunia ni syaitan tak ada then yes, semua orang adalah mulia.

Point aku luah perasaan hari ni selepas berbulan bulan pendam, don't trust people who close to you in the short time. Semua orang tahu kau baik, naif. Tapi satu sudut hati kau mesti, mesti, MESTI kena ada doubt about people kau rapat. Maybe some exceptional, contoh pada unconditional love parents? Tu takpe. Selainnya, mesti kena ada ragu ragu.

Why?

While try to be nice, orang mungkin take for granted but not in the way the take-for-granted always happens. But this take-for-granted, happens beyond my naive (?) thought! Macam mana kau boleh tahan bila alasannya ialah sebab kau baik, kau jadi kaunter aduan.

Kaunter aduan okay lagi.

Kaunter umpatan?

Now, this is not ukhwah whatever. This is ridiculously bullshit and I am sad, because the sins to hear all the bad words still called the SINS. There's not such thing as DOSA MULIA.

I wish I have friend like him here, so I can sort of certain thing that I always ignore for the sake of I-don't-know, happy maybe? I can keep myself at the right track with the unique different ways, THINKING why people are different. Ye.

Bila aku fikir pada soalan kenapa, regardless who or when or where, aku jumpa banyak benda atau jawapan pada soalan yang lain along the way. Silent thank you.

This is not the dedication entry oh please but the fact that he was right after all can't be denied. At least I can't! And I miss him.

No Tittle

2011-12-06T13:17:00.001+08:00

Well.

I stared to my (not my anyway) keyboard hardly thinking, assuming, learning and danggg.. you see the 'x' sign, in red colour, kat atas sekali belah kanan tu?

Yeah.

I talk too much but never be heard and never want one, and still I manage to have my litle smile on my lips around my face. Life. I forced myself not to think much and reading a lot of books instead. Yeap. I read like crazy. I feel safe with a book and slowly drive me into another world.

I managed to read two novels, 400 pages each. One, on the way to Kelantan and another one for returning. And who life-less-full people read one novel a day? Not to mention hundreds ringgit went unnecessary (maybe necessary but this one, addicted?). I thought I will stop writing as I'm afraid that people will think me as the same. I mean, me, the one in the internet-life, and me, the one with the real-life.

Despite it somehow connected, it will never ever be the same.

I make a certain boundary. Definite. Real life, writing life, social life, FB-Twitter-whatsnot life, is never the same.

Don't judge.

END

2011-11-29T21:31:00.001+08:00

... till then, peeps!

`

2011-11-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

Please-lah.

That such topic... it's is irritating, it's annoying. Sometimes, there are few things from our childhood memories rather be forgotten than diulang-ulang! I am human being, I have feeling, love and to be loved...

... but not the one you think it's funny and cute and what?

Haih!

2011-11-19T11:38:00.001+08:00

The thing is, don't simply put you own book where others who don't know you can see it. Especially the book with your ambitious-future-name like, Prof. Dr Huda Mustaffar. It is no doubt can help to encourage you to the next higher level of education, buuuutttttt it is also can turn out like this;

"Bagusnya, muda muda dah Prof,"

Pffftttttt!

The Day That I Doubt

2011-11-16T21:05:00.001+08:00

Seingat aku, aku derma darah masa aku tingkatan lima, 2005. Tak pernah sepanjang hayat aku nak derma darah. Aku dengan segerombolan kawan-kawan aku pergi KBMall, dan pihak hospital HKB buat event menderma darah dan dari situ tetiba aku buat kerja gila pergi beratur, tadaaaaaa.

Aku takut jarum, tapi aku lagi takut kalau tak tengok jarum yang masuk tangan aku. That time, aku tahu kalau derma darah tangan akan dicucuk dua kali. Pertama jarum kecik then jarum besar. Masa zaman tu macam menakjubkan je jarum kecik sakit, jarum besar idak pule padahal jarum kecik untuk tahan sakit sebab jarum besar nak masuk.

Makanya, dari situ lekat tabiat aku derma darah dan aku sedar kemungkinan-kemungkinannya. Lepas derma darah yang pertama, lapar gila! Derma darah kedua, mengantuk gila. Yang selepas itu, aku imun.

Kot.

Atau aku ignore.

Sampailah minggu lepas.

Aku jalan sorang sorang dekat Jusco, ternampak sekumpulan manusia yang menderma darah dan peristiwa enam tahun lepas, saat kali pertama aku derma darah datang semula. Aku fikir pasti tabung darah sangat memerlukan. Kalaulah aku dapat membantu... Tak semena-mena aku beratur isi borang. Done!

But then, since kakak aku nak kahwin dan aku janji dengan ayah aku dan pindahkan barang malam tu, was when I doubt my action. Berkebetulan seminggu lepas aku batuk selsema, dan dalam borang suruh state ya atau tidak regarding few things, one of them cough and flu. Like hmmmm...

Tapi aku teruskan juga beratur sandar pada dinding perhati alam sekitar sambil hati kata perlu, tak, perlu, tak, perlu, tak ulang ulang sampai terpacak depan doktor. Dan aku berdoa, kalau betul betul apa aku nak buat ni selamat dan menyelamatkan, permudahkanlah.

"Ada batuk selsema tak seminggu dua ni?"

"Last week, I didn't take antibiotic though prescribed,"

Oh tuhannnn.

"Lain kali eh?"

Angguk. Lega. Senyum dan berlalu.

Syukur.

.

2011-11-14T22:01:00.001+08:00

The more I read, the more I'm afraid that it will be an..

OBSESSION

Derrrrr~

2011-11-12T11:11:00.001+08:00

Benda paling aku tak suka!

Arrange majlis kahwin!

Huh!

Melayang

2011-11-11T15:46:00.001+08:00

Melayang-layang jangan jatuh,

Melayang terbang cari perhentian,

Melayang hingga kau penat terima,

Namun bukan berhenti semerta.

Andai ada esok, selama itulah harapan,

Kalau tiada, berat lagi bahu kau beban,

Tak terfikir apa tak terfikir bagaimana,

Jauh sekali tanggungan siksa.

Melayang-layang atas dan bawah,

Melayang tinggi terkadang rendah,

Melayang layang carilah cahaya,

Esok lusakan datang jua.

What-a-Day

2011-11-07T07:48:00.002+08:00

Aidil Adha.

Bangun pagi dengan batuk dan sakit tekat. Masuk tandas, lihat sputum/kahak warna kuning. Oh no, must be infection somewhere. Oh no, kena rush before asthma datang nak melawat juga. Oh no, all the clinics were closed oh come on its raya lah!

Pergi farmasi beli high concentratred vitamin C ke menatang apa. Dia ada tulis for those who prone to cold, sore throat and fever. For the first sign of cold, take 2 tablets per 3 hour. Oh oh oh...!

Something tak best, sebelum dapat asthma cari steroid inhaler. Ohhhhhhhh NO! HILANG. GREAT! Please, jangan masuk wad. It will be no HUSM anymore. No handsome doctors, no sweet medical students. Hhehehhe.

Lately, I always misplaced my medications. Sigh.

Happy Aidil Adha!

Apakah korban anda?

Please...

2011-11-03T21:04:00.001+08:00

How Confident Has Changed My Life

2011-11-02T22:20:00.001+08:00

Thanks for the contest and it makes two now. :)

---

When I was five nobody used training wheels to ride bicycle anymore.
But I did, so everybody's laughing.
Who cares?

When I was seven, I sat silent even I was in emergency to go to the toilet.
I was afraid the teacher might scold me so I cried.
Who cares?

When I was nine, my class teacher put me in between of two Indian boys.
I've never talk since then.
Who cares?

When I was ten I never wanted to show off my arts, drawings, writings, my talents.
It was so ugly.
Who cares?

When I was thirteen I was afraid of being far away.
I might have no friends.
Who cares?

When I was fifteen I gave up hoping to be selected into my dream school.
They said it was for the best, and I wasn't.
Who cares?

When I was seventeen I really wanted to be better in english.
So I wont sound stupid.
Who cares?

When I was eighteen I chose to be lone ranger .
Because a stupid guy made a bet on me.
Who cares?

When I was twenty second I thought my world would end.
The imbalance had killed my energy.
Who cares?

Now I am twenty four,
Still being nobody.
Who cares?

STOP!

Confident cares!

It helped you!
It has been helping you ever since.

You could ride your bicycle without training wheels despite the scratches,
It was confident.

You spoke out for permission never mind the tears,
It was confident.

You started to talk, and making friends with those two Indians boys.
It was confident.

You worked hard, your drawings got everyone's attention.
It was confident.

You managed to do the laundries, to iron your clothes, to stand up yourself.
It was confident.

You didn't give up hoping, so you get selected to you number 1 boarding school.
It was confident.

Asking tourists if they needed help, they didn't laugh because of your broken english and you're practicing more and more.
It was confident.

The stupid guy came and asking for your forgiveness because of his silliness and was grateful you didn't take revenge.
It was confident.

You prayed and rehab and kept your spirit high that you'll manage to go through the illnesses.
It was confident.

Even being nobody at your 24th, you still working hard now.
It is confident.

I've been through all the upside down in my life but never stop trying,
I don't know what the future holds but I wont stop hoping,
I will keep the way I am, the who I am...

... because I'm confident enough every cloud has a silver lining.

Thanks to the simple yet meaningful word

CONFIDENT

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent,"

~Eleanor Roosevelt

That's how it changed my life.

And worth the battles.

Kita Kita

2011-11-02T15:19:00.001+08:00

Bila orang putih cakap melayu dengan tatabahasa yang betul,
Kita orang melayu kata wow, hebat sungguh!

Tapi bila kita orang melayu cakap melayu dengan tatabahasa yang betul,
Kita orang melayu kata ek eleh sasterawan ke apa?

Bila orang putih cakap melayu tunggang tebalik,
Kita orang malayu kata bagusnya diorang mencuba bahasa kita.

Tapi bila kita orang melayu cakap melayu tunggang terbalik,
Kita orang melayu kata ni la dia, tak sayang bahasa!

Bila orang putih cakap inggeris grammar betul,
Kita orang melayu kata english dia fuhhh terbaikkkk!

Bila kita orang melayu cakap inggeris grammar betul,
Kita orang melayu kata skemmmmm gila!

Bila orang putih cakap english lintang pukang,
Kita orang melayu kata cool, man! Yaw yaw yaw!

Bila kita orang melayu cakap english lintang pukang,
Kita orang melayu kata, nak cakap omputeh kononnnnnn!

Dah tu macam mana?

Silent

2011-10-31T21:31:00.001+08:00

Knock knock.

"Dr., busy?"

"Tak. Masuklah,"

Aku masuk. One thing that I like it here despite everything, is the doctor. This handsome doctor membuatkan aku masih berada di USM. At least bila aku rasa membuak buak rindu pada sekalian doktor ORL kacak kacak di sana.

"Erm, saya nak tanya pasal patient tadi. Can we discuss? Kalau saya tak menggangu doktor,"

"Sure. Come in. Kenapa?"

"I just.. ermm.. wondering, what's you diagnosis eh? Patient was asking me, and when I went through the folder, saya tak nampak definite diagnosis. Perhaps saya tak perasan,"

Doktor kacak berhenti from whatever he did, bersandar macam bos besar gaya yang selalu ada dalam TV dan melihat aku-sumpah-takut.

"What do you think?"

"What am I thinking?"

"Yep. From your assessment?"

"Labyrinthitis. But then I couldn't do much. And yours?"

Actually the conversation wasn't that smooth (I used to argue or perhaps discussing with all my lecturers yang boleh aku arguelah, but then this doctor, god knows what he's thinking). Aku jawab sambil otak aku fikir sebaik boleh dan selembut boleh dan sesopan boleh ayat ayat yang aku guna. Aku cuma takut. Takut salah faham. Takut nanti manalah tahu...

"I think it's Meniere's,"

"Meniere's? Ermm.. okay, ermm..,"

"You think it isn't, kan? What's ypur points it shouldn't be Meniere's?"

There, again! I feel like I was viva-ing. Again.

"From the history, it is sudden hearing loss, with vertigo and tinnitus, nauseous,"

"Menniere's sudden jugak,"

"Normally it's fluctuating,"

"Dia mungkin fluctuate, by the time you assess her, dia dah dapat profound loss,"

Aku pandang dalam dalam mata doktor kacak ini. I don't want to argue more. Aku takut.

"Awak ada sebab lain?"

"If it is menniere's, bla bla bla. Patient doesn't bla bla bla. Labyrynthitis bla bla bla, and patient claims of bla bla bla, so, for me, I think it is more likely to be labyryhnthitis,"

"Okay, why wasn't neuritis?"

"It should not affecting hearing then,"

Doktor pandang aku sambil bersandar kerusi sekali lagi.

"I'm just saying, I... erm..,"

I lost. My anxiety rise and reaching the roof. All the scene of failure just coming back again and again. The advice that I could go beyond others lingering in my mind again.

"It's okay. I could be wrong..."

He smiled.

I did nothing but silent., luckily another patient came in.

Tunggang Terbalik!

2011-10-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

Aku tengok tengok website for adopting baby. Don't ask me why. Habit aku tengok gambar baby bawa aku ke sini. Dan masa aku tengok beberapa senarai manusia yang tengah menunggu atau mempromote diri untuk menjadi adoptive parents, cuba teka apa aku jumpa.

Bilangan keluarga normal dengan

PROUD lesbo and gay parents

adalah sama banyak! What the....?!

Oh dunia... :'(

My Happiest Moment

2011-10-27T02:11:00.001+08:00

Phewww. Anyway, this is my first time writing a post for a contest. Yeap. It's a contest. Those who know me will know that I don't really bother with any online contests because well, I write to express not to impress. But then, why this contest really grab my attention?

Here we go!

Oh I can explain bla bla bla regarding the story why-I-don't-bother thing, but can we just skip to the real part? The happiest moment? We call it happy because happy story shouldn't be buried without sharing, should it?

Hehhehhee.

When I was little, the last thing I would do was eating. I guess all moms in the world face the same problem here, persuade their sweethearts to have all the nutrients so the will grow up. They will anyway, but will they grow up healthily? Hmmm..! So what will they do (including my mommy)?

Yeah!

FORCE US!

I like to read, to write, to doubt not to mention I am enthusiast with everything. They call it curiosity, for me, it just the brain neurons try to make more connection actually do the talking. Whatever it is, mommy made one rule here, one question, one mouthful, one answer until I ate everything or I just pretend I had no more questions to avoid the yucky vegetables.

Everything has changed now. Nobody force me to eat. The rule has disappeared now and no longer applied. I have fingertip-library, endless sources of answers, internet. Whatever questions I raise now, sometimes, mommy has no idea how to answer. Sometimes, I don't even like to ask because I think there is no point of asking.

Sometimes...

(Silently cry)

My bad.

Out of sudden, I hope I can travel back to this moment where this picture was captured. I want to hug her and let her know how much this memory has touched me. Because to hug her now, at this age, is very not me.

When I see this picture, when I see my oily cheeks, when I see my little hands were holding a piece of paper, I know I was mommy's sweetheart who never stop asking. Mommy is just my mommy, who will never stop answering...

So, what yours?
Come on and join and click here!

Sallimnaaaaa

2011-10-24T15:48:00.000+08:00

Rabbana

Sallimna

Wa Sallim dina na

Wa Sallim imana na

Wa Sallim tauhidna

Wahai tuhan kami

Selamatkan kami

Dan selamatkanlah agama kami

Dan selamatkanlah iman kami

Dan selamatkanlah pegangan kami

Istajib du'a ana

Ya Rahman

Ya Rahim

Ya Muntaqimu

Ya Allah

Ya Allah...

Favouright [4]

2011-10-22T18:59:00.001+08:00

"What's wrong for not being you? Sometimes, we need to be somebody so we know how to be better,"

It's fake. Well, if you ask me.

Inilah Kenapa Aku Suka Doktor HUSM [2]

2011-10-20T22:56:00.001+08:00

I miss USM more and more despite the nightmares. I miss my friends more and more despite the fights. I miss people I admire more and more despite the hatred. I miss the programs more and more despite the tiredness. I miss the Hamdan Tahir more and more despite the super duper cold. I miss all the physicians more and more despite their hurting needles.

I miss all the memories more and more despite knowing it will never reoccurred.

It hurts.

Budak Kan Jujur

2011-10-20T01:35:00.005+08:00

I like to tease and play and quiz and entertain all the kids that come to me. Sometimes (most of the time), I like to ask nonsense questions because no matter how stupid it sounds, they answer honestly.

"Kita main lukis lukis okay?"

"Nak lukis apa?"

"Lukis Kak Ngah,"

"Nah,"

p/s: Padanlah bila aku tanya aku comel ke tak, diorang jawab comel. Memang comel pun err.. lukisan tu. :P

Favouright [3]

2011-10-18T22:24:00.003+08:00

"Someone somewhere is made for you,"

~Dil To Pagal Hai

Where are you?

Fobia

2011-10-17T00:10:00.005+08:00

Aku claustrophobic. Takut tempat sempit.

Aku acrophobia. Takut tempat tinggi.

So bila campur dua tu, aku sangat anti dan fobia dengan lif. Aku rela naik tangga kalau tak lebih 5 tingkat. Lagilah aku lupakan lif, bila aku dapat balance disorder. But then, kaki aku pulak putus ligamen. Nak tak nak, naik lif.

Dari situ aku mula berani sikit sikit despite the muntah and nausea lepas naik lif. Tu belum lagi aku akan pejam mata atau tunduk try to shift my mind away. Try to get rid the feeling that I'm in the elevator. I hate that. But since dapat balance problem, dia macam terapi bila aku perlahan lahan belajar adapt dengan lif.

Dan sejak sejak aku kena buat MRI, aku boleh ease a bitlah claustrophobia ni. Sebab nak jaga air muka dengan doktor oh come one takkan mula legend aku ni takut dengan tempat sempit?

The moment they pushed me in, aku cuba fikir benda lain sebab sumpah aku terus rasa tak boleh bernafas, so aku cuba cakap dengan sendiri. Sometimes aku humming for the sake of the test results. Ada satu moment tu aku paksa tidur, tapi MRI tu bunyi kalau merdu tak apa gak.

Aku takut macam orang gila sorang sorang dalam tu, and ada masa masa aku termenangis. Pastu cakap sorang sorang, pastu humming perlahan lahan melodi lagu lagu aku suka.

Sampai satu tahap, aku dah tak boleh bertahan, then aku nak push the emergency button the placed in my hand but then tadaaaa, satu doktor masuk.

"Okay tak?"

Angguk. Cis, dan lagi kau nak jaga air muka kau?

"Dah siap eh?"

"Belum. Sepuluh minit lagi,"

Whattttt!

"Saya nak masukkan ubat,"

Aku hulur tangan.

"Kenapa?"

"Nak masukkan contrast lagi sikit,"

Menatang apa pun aku tak tau. Tapi angguk jela.

"Okay baringlah. Sekejap lagi,"

Sekali lagi nafas aku tak berapa nak menentu. Try to hum another song pujuk mata jangan mengada nak berair-airlah.

---

Sekarang aku okay sikit dengan claustrophobia and acrophobia. Well maybe I used to hum or manage how to deal with those phobias.

Tapi baru baru ni, aku dapat satu benda tak best dengan lif like stupid lif! Aku masuk sorang sorang, so macam biasa aku akan berdiri dekat satu corner dan tunduk dan start to hum sesekali angkat kepala sambil perhati nombor dalam tu menandakan tingat berapa lif naik turun.

Aku nak ketingkat 6, so lif naik ke atas. But this time aku boleh rasa dia naik tu extra laju dan tiba tiba dia bergegar dan berhenti kat tingkat 5, turun dengan cepat sambil berbunyi "Going down,"

Kalau kau tengok muka aku, mesti kau tengok mayat. Aku dah nak termuntah ketakutan. So aku tekan je tingkat lima dengan harapan lif terbuka, tapi vroooommm dia naik laju dan bergegar, "Going down," dan turun dengan laju.

Berhenti.

Aku pandang segala benda yang mungkin boleh selamatkan aku. Tak ada.

Elok aku nak tekan loceng kecemasan. Lif terbuka perlahan. Aku berdoa dengan harapan dia tak terbuka antara bangunan. Syukurrrrr.

Aku keluar dengan terus bersandar dekat tepi cuba stabilkan diri.

"Okay tak ni?"

Terkejut aku bila ada orang tegur aku. Aku pakai white coat so diorang mesti ingat aku staff situ.

"Yeah,"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing,"

Lelaki yang tegur aku senyum dan mula melangkah masuk lif aku naik tadi.

"Err.. I think it's better for you to use that one,"

"Why?"

"Errmmm. It's not working. No no.. it's working, it just.. it's better you use that one,"

"Okay. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Thanks for asking,"

Dia macam resist nak naik tapi aku senyum and angguk to reassure.

Thank to the elevator. Now, my phobias come back. Thank you.

---

Lepas aku tengok cerita medik bersiri House and Grey's Anatomy, baru aku tahu doktor boleh tengok kita dalam MRI tu. Cop cop cop! So adakah doktor nampak aku menagis dan dengar aku humming as well?

~~Oh, damn~~~

From Other Than Us

2011-10-13T23:44:00.001+08:00

This is a true story from my dad about an honest Chinese's prospective.

Okay tu je bahasa omputeh, the rest bahasa malaysia. Cop, the rest tu bahasa apa?

Shadap yu.

Bapak guwe melawat kawan bapak guwe a.k.a bapak my ex-monkey's love. Not that I was a monkey, oh please ini bukan kisah teori evolusi manusia dari monyet hokay. Itu hanyalah pepatah melayu yang di alih bahasa kepada cinta monyet like oh come on, binatang lain pun bercinta juga kenapa kau pilih monyet?

Shadap yu. Again.

Now blaming on Yu The Fish.

***

Ayah saya sedang menikmati ~~sepotong~~ setongkol jagung ketika melawat kawan dia di hospital. Sedang beliau menikmati setongkol jagung, ada seorang lelaki cina berpakaian segak duduk di sebelah beliau tapi saya tak pasti beliau menikmati setongkol jagung atau tidak. Tak tertanya.

Suasana ketika itu hanyalah senyap kerana ayah saya makan cepat cepat kerana dia perlu pulang ke pejabat dan masa sudah menghampiri jam dua. Bukan bermakna ayah saya pakai dua jam. Ia memberitahu hoiiiii balik pejabatlah dah pukul dua petang baii!

Tiba-tiba lelaki cina segak itu memandang ayah saya.

"Ekonomi makin teruk sekarang,"

Aik? Ayah saya hanya mendengar dan memakan jagung tanpa menyampuk tapi cuba menjadi a good listener. Okay, sebab cerita ini tak ada saya dan setiap dialog dalam blog ini ada color-coded; my dialog will be green and others will be red but since I didn't do the talking, the green will goes to my daddy.

"Tak semestinya negara okay kalau kerajaan tukar pimpinan. Kalau tak tukar, pun sama juga. Kalau tak tukar, rasuah masih sama, rakyat susah. Kalau tukar, pun banyak susah. Kerajaan baru nak bayar hutang, rakyat susah. Menteri semua duit banyak boeh lari. Duit diorang bukan sini punya bank, luar negara,"

Bapa saya diam lagi sambil senyum mendengar sambil terfikir aik, kau economist ke apa nih? Okay, this isn't political issues or whatsoever eh. This is just a conversation that I found interesting. Hokay? Don't get me wrong.

"Dulu masa saya kerja bank dekat Kelantan bla bla bla,"

Wow! Ada perkataan Kelantan di situ. Actually aku cuba recall cerita part ni berkisarkan apa sebab aku ingat Kelantan, hujan, meniaga atas sampan, bank dia tinggi so tak banjir macam tu. Aku tak boleh nak rearranged the puzzles part neh. So, ampuuun.

Dan bapak aku berkata di dalam hati, padan cakap pasal politik ekonomi segala, orang bank rupanya. Tapi lelaki cina ni terus bercerita despite my dad's only nod his head and cakap sikit sikit je sebab dia kejar masa (which is very rare sebab bapak saya banyak mulut macam sayalah).

Satu je mulut tapi banyak cakap ahhh shadap yu orang fahamlah!

"Saya pun a manya pelik kenapa takut sangat itu hukum hudud,"

Perghh!

"Orang salah saja takut dengan hukum hudud maaa. Lagipun orang bukan islam mahu takut apa? Hukum itu bukan untuk diorang. Lagipun saya percaya ramai sokong,"

WOW!

Tapi bapa saya kena balik office dan terpaksa resist dari berbual panjang. Siapa tak rasa nak berbual panjang lelaki bercakap seperti cina dengan dialek cina bercakap perihal ini?

"Saya kena balik pejabat. Jumpa lagi,"

Bapa saya senyum.

"Tanya satu soalan boleh? You polis ka?"

Bapa saya gelak besar.

"Kalau you mau tangkap, habislah Rashid,"

Errrr. Siapa Rashid? Tapi bapa saya tak tanyalah kan.

"Tak lah. Bukan polislah. Saya jalan dulu ye?"

"Okay. Assalamualaikum,"

Cop. Cop. Cop! Dia bagi salam? Ke nama dia yang Rashid? Dia guna third person bahasakan diri, like me?

Hmmmm, muallaf rupanya.

Muslim ada rasa nak malu sikit sikit tak?

Babai

2011-10-11T18:50:00.004+08:00

My life has been upside down. Those who keep coming, thank you. But there will be no new posts until further notice.

It means until everything get settled.

Favouright [2]

2011-10-09T12:34:00.000+08:00

"... only if my courage is constant,"

Haih!

Harga Seposen Pemikiranku

2011-10-06T16:01:00.002+08:00

Okay, tajuk nak vogue. Aku ada dua benda yang aku rasa nak cakap. Sebenarnya satu, tapi jadi dua untuk hari ini.

---

Pertama.

Saya percaya anda semua memiliki sekurang-kurang satu TV di rumah. Dan saya juga percaya yang saudara kacak saudari jelita sekalian pernah dan masih menonton salah satu siaran TV ini. Dan saya juga amat percaya adik kakak abang makcik pakcik juga melihat salah satu iklan TV yang pada saya ~~agak~~ amat annoying untuk ditonton.

Dalam pada usaha kita, usaha mak ayah tak dinafikan usaha kerajaan sedang berusaha keras untuk mendidik rakyatnya menjadi sopan santun, lemah lembut, berbudi bahasa amalan kita, masih ada kepala kepala kreatif yang membina dan mencipta iklan sebegini secara tidak langsung membelakangkan usaha usaha murni ini.

Umum tahu di dalam perpustakaan perlu senyap, apatah lagi mereka yang memakai uniform sekolah yang dah tentu tentu arif dengan segala mak nenek peraturan ketika berada di dalam perpustakaan. Namun iklan ini, menunjukkan sebaliknya. Kanak kanak perempuan, belum cukup usia, berani menentang peraturan, berani membelakangkan nasihat, berani untuk tidak takut pada guru, superior.

Huh!

Apa punya iklanlah!

Di samping itu (ehemm kembali kepada mood bahasa), tidakkah kita sedar dengan sentiasa mengalakkan kanak-kanak untuk lebih menyertai hiburan bukan sahaja merugikan negara bahkan memusnahkan masa depan dunia yang sepatutnya bersinar cemerlang? Tidak sedarkan kita apabila kita sering memberi makanan hiburan kepada kanak-kanak adalah sama maksudnya dengan menyuap junk foods yang memusnahkan aspek pintar, kreatif, kritis serta memberi izin segala penyakit bahaya untuk bersarang?

Dan sedarkah kita, dalam tidak sedar kita sebenarnya membantutkan kecerdikan walhal pintar itu bermula dari seawal usia?

Jadi sila beritahu saya mana baiknya iklan perosak sebegini, dan sila jelaskan adakah kita boleh melahirkan jurutera, cendekiawan, doktor, sasterawati, saintis dan angkasawan dengan pendidikan awalnya, hiburan?

~~Oh, menteri mungkin boleh.~~

Kedua.

Saya pernah mengomel bahawasanya rakyat Malaysia sungguh kreatif satu masa dulu. Setiap kali ada berlaku perkara-perkara ajaib, luar normal dan unik, kitalah yang paling suka mengaitkan dengan nombor, dengan kebarangkalian dengan itu dan dengan ini. Ya, kita! Sebab saya tak pernah menghadam perkara sebegini dari bahasa lain.

Seperti hari ini, dunia dikejutkan dengan kematian salah seorang manusia genius mencipta Ipad, Iphone, Mac dan sebagainya yang jelas jelas saya tak tahu dek kerana buta IT-sekian-terima-kasih. Kematian adalah perkara biasa. Yang hidup pasti mati. Normal.

Yang diluar normal adalah perihal genius itu. Dan sekarang penuh wall FB saya dengan rantaian website membincangkan asal usul pencipta hebat ini. Dan ini menyebabkan hati saya terdetik, kenapa sekarang? Kenapa bukan ketika dia hidup? Kita sungguh gemar dengan perkara BOOMM! walhal dalam masa yang sama kita mencipta spekulasi yang akan berhenti apabila tiba satu perkara yang lain untuk dijadikan spekulasi.

Kenapa?

p/s: Sekian, latihan Bahasa Melay SPM saya untuk hari ini.

Post-It [3]: Well

2011-10-06T00:22:00.003+08:00

I miss you.

Babai.

p/s: I promise I'll write something bagus-untuk-otak-baca tonight, but then end up melukis post-it. Haih.

Bila Fikir Fikir Balik

2011-10-03T23:15:00.002+08:00

Dulu semua benda nak tulis. Setiap hari rasa istimewa je. Dululah. Dulu masa kat USM. Tiga tahun pertama, oh mungkin setahun pertama tak berapa menarik but yes roughly, 3 tahun pertama was so heaven. Setiap benda rasa macam benda baru. Semua benda nak abadikan dalam blog.

Okay. Now dah ada FB. Bila tengok balik, FB dah buat since tahun 1 lagi tapi apa benda rupa tak pernah tahu. FB is just one account created because somebody invited. That's it. Kan ke masa tu famous Friendster?

Bila ingat ingat balik, masa tu semua benda nak tepek kat Friendster, especially gambarlah. Tapi fungsi Friendster limited, jadinya tak adalah seghairah FB sekarang.

Sekarang, bila dah nak cecah 25 (Oh my...!), bila fikir fikir balik, bila baca baca balik, bila tenung tenung balik, euwww benda macam ni pun kau nak mengadu? Benda macam ni pun jadi bahan cerita. Tak peliklah kawan aku pernah kata masa mula mula dia baca blog aku, dia rasa aku gedik. Alah, macamlah sekarang tak, kan? Perkataan gedik tu dia bagi aku sampai sebati. Kalau dia tak cakap aku gedik, lain pulak rasa. Hahhahhaa. Dan bila fikir balik, bila makin dewasa, makin kuranglah untuk rasa enjoy tentang benda benda kecil. No wonder orang tua, makin tua.

There's a saying said (I forgot where I read it), more or less lah; budak budak enjoy semua benda dan masa yang diorang ada, which very few adults do. No wonder adults will never look younger lah kan?

Tapi people change. The mind pun berubahlah kan? So, aku masa dulu, dengan aku masa sekarang of courselah sikit sebanyak ada berubah. Macam bila FB keluarkan previous status on this date, aku kadang kala ketawa. Olololo naifnya, tampar sedas baru tahu.

Dulu semua benda jadi perhatian, sekarang pun semua benda jadi perhatian, tinggal lagi nak speak out or jadi passive observer. Observe orang lalu lalang, observe doktor doktor, observe another staffs, observe patients of course, observe bloggers, observe Facebookers, observe yang paling penting, diri sendiri.

Aku bahagikan pada dua, bila observe orang yang bergerak, orang atau makhluk dalam dimensi 3D, itu observe hidup. Observe alam maya, itu silent observation. Dulu masa kelas psikologi, ada soalan dari pensyarah aku. Not really soalan lah, dia suruh student dia bagitahu 2 kelebihan diri sendiri. When my turn came to me I told him.

"I am creative and I can read people,"

Statement first tak adalah undang benda benda tak best not that the second point will, it just when my lecturer said that I can't judge a book by its cover, I knew immediately that I shouldn't say that. Simple. Don't be different. Don't tell different. Don't act different.

Kadang kadang kita lupa, people somehow is predictable. Kan?

Predictable like what happen now. All the final year PPSKs dah start their theses. Especially my juniors, the FB wall mostly all about the theses. Is it predictable? Okay, few weeks earlier, kebanyakan rakyat FB akan mula borak atau tulis status regarding konvo (including me), will upload photos, giggles all over and banggg! Yep, it happened! Is it predictable? And USM buka, medical students start mengeluh regarding the timetables, the postings and banggg! It happened too. Is it predictable?

It is. Itu for my silent observation.

This is excludedlah kan for those Facebookers' yang keep on posting hari ni makan nasi bersama husband (Aww awak je ada husband), esok nak keluar jejalan (there is no other day but tomorrow), lusa nak balik kampung (hello pencuri, help yourself!).

Ini untuk pengamatan hidup. It is predictable too. Macam aku jalan dengan orang tak suka aku, I can sense it. We all can sense it. Atau orang marah kita, even that people tak buka mulut sepatah pun, kita boleh rasa. Kita boleh predict perasaan dia. Itu sebab dalam bahasa, dia bukan hanya ada bahasa, bahasa. Kita ada bahasa tubuh, bahasa mata, bahasa mulut. Almost semua orang boleh faham bahasa selain bahasa bahasa, kecuali orang ada penyakit macam Right Hemisphere Syndrom, tu lain.

The different is level setiap orang membaca bahasa bahasa tersebut. And that level can only be gained by massive observations. So, I questioned myself, when I told my lecturer that I can read people, was I wrong?

I don't think so. Well, maybe I'm wrong. Not that can-read-people wrong, but the level is not that high like he has. Well, he is a counselor for goodness's sake!

Oh not that I'm angry to him okay. My point is, the predictable now becomes unpredictable to me. My point is, bila kita fikir fikir balik (like the above tittle), how time really change us. How time really really really ...

You fill in the blank-lah.

Predictable kan? Dah 3 minggu konvo, upload tetap upload!

I miss my lecturer. This lecturer.

Post-It [2]: Can It?

2011-10-02T21:14:00.004+08:00

"You know what can't be waited?"

One of my chinese friend asked me.

"There's a lot of it. But, what's in your mind?"

"Balas budi mak ayah,"

Long pause.

Post-It [1]: ... and YOU?

2011-10-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

---

"First time I heard your voice, I can sense that you're friendly,"

"Thanks,"

"Then, I met you.. You're nice,"

"Thanks again,"

You might see me very friendly, well I am.

But, you're my patient, I have no other option to choose. Don't worry anyway, I can promise you this one; I love helping people, and been thought to help people a lot. But please, don't praise me too much. I'm just a normal human being.

The helping heart, you can trust on that one. It is pure.

Sigh

2011-09-29T22:00:00.001+08:00

This handsome doctor asked me. Well, he is a doctor, but not my doctor. He is err.. more or less my colleague. Whatever.

"How's your convo?"

"It just a convo,"

He looked at me. Right into my eyes and widen his eyes.

"It just a convo. Seriously. It just me on the stage receiving transcribe, or certificate, or whatever,"

"Awak ni. It is once in a lifetime tau,"

"Well, if it stops here then yes. What if I pursue my study? It's no longer once, kan doktor?"

I went back to my clinic and everybody started to ask my convo thing. Like, whoaaa how fast the words spread! Because there were very few people knew that I was on leave to Penang, so it irritated a bit.. for me. Daddy will nag on me if he hears or knows this. Hmm... daddy always mention I'm.. sort of.. hmm.. forget it.

Well. Because he is handsome,and he did open house for Syawal when I was in Penang so it doubles the losing thing. Huh, I lose my chance to meet his handsome son, (if any) because of convo lah kan? Sebab bapak dia handsome, sah sahlah kalau dia ada anak, anak dia handsome kan? Genetically inherited. Ke macam mana? Hahhahaha.

No. No. No.

HAHHAAHA.

That's not the point.

"Nak sambung bila?"

"I don't know lah doktor. Nampaknya, semuanya belum mengikut plan. But well, I'll tell you,"

"Awak jangan sorok sorok pulak. Hint hintlah sikit,"

"Hhahahaha. Tak de kerja saya nak sorok. But don't worry lah doctor. I will tell you, definitely I will. You will be my first person. But.. no, second,"

"Heh?"

"First gonna be my parents, then you,"

I laughed and I hear he's laughing too when I went off.

What a day.

...

2011-09-29T14:18:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I can do this on my own.

Menarik x bidang audiology ni Cik?

2011-09-28T15:30:00.001+08:00

Pada saya, ya. Terutamanya perihal kanak kanak. :)

I'm more than happy to answer all sort of questions. Chill!

... [27]

2011-09-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to say this, but... I have a lot of questions now to ask. The questions that you allowed me to raise and you'll find time to answer. The questions, that make me change my perception towards you.. where it had been clouded with something that I couldn't have believe that. The questions that causing the hatred to disappear and answering all the doubts. The questions that tell me; cold people isn't bad and warm people isn't harmless.

You're you.

Only if I can tell you why.

Is this another way to tell how I miss those chats?

Errr, Bukan Salahku

2011-09-27T13:36:00.001+08:00

Kekkekeekkeke.

Ni yang aku tak berapa gemar orang sesenang bagi no fon aku pada patient. Bukan aku marah, cumanya aku rasa privasi aku diceroboh tsk tsk tsk. Ada je patient aku bagi no fon aku just incase and aku suka kalau muka diorang macam ada sinar sinar harapan gitew.

Okay, over.

And now I am considering for the second number so I can divide between personal and professional. Pang, lempang sedasss! Tak tak, sumpah tak best.

Macam tadi.

Gelak luuu!

Pukul 8 setengah lagi tepon berbunyi, tengok nombor mula ngan 016, maybe my BFF asking to attend another BFF's convo. So, aku ignore je dulu sebab aku mengantuk lagi (alasan layan tetamu semalam), kedua, aku tak suka jawab telefon masa bangun tidur.

Namun masalah ketiga akan muncul bila aku akan terlupa untuk return calls and reply mesejsss.

Hari ni aku teringat pukul 1130 aku dapat call pagi buta (buta ke?) dan dengan rajinnya aku mesej balik sebab aku teringat dan nak pesan tak sempat datang. Dengan kawan kawan bangun tengahari pun apa kesahlah kan?

"Weh, wuu barung bangun. Tarak orang mau hantar KTM la,"

Guess what?

Guess what??!

"Hello, is this Huda? The audiologist?"

Sniff sniff bau kemarahan telah kuhidu.

"Yes. I'm Huda,"

"I'm bla bla, I called you last bla bla bla, and set the appointment at 2 pm bla bla,"

"Yes. We'd waiting for you that time and you're not coming. But, that's fine. That's not the problem. We can rescheduled your mom's appointment? "

"I'm on my way,"

"Oh,"

Tak kisahlah kau salah ke, kau betul ke, benda benda swasta ni kena jaga reputasi. Seka air mata dalam hati.

"I'm sorry to say this, but did somebody mention to you that I'm no longer working there?"

"No,"

"Okay. It's okay..."

"So how now?"

Err. Aku tak habis cakap lagi. Sob sob sob.

"Could you please give whoever that I can contact?"

"Yeah sure. I'll message you the permanent audiologist's phone number,"

"Okay thank you,"

Lega. At least ada terima kasih. Kau tahu tak besar rahmat terima kasih tu kalau kau dapat masa orang tengah tak selesa dengan kau? And friend, sorry to break your privacy as I don't know how to handle now. I'm not there, no longer part of them, and.. tsk tsk tsk.

Now the laughing part!

Did I accidentally mentioned to my patient that I just woke up at 1100 am?

Demmmm~

In Zati's Alza like whoaaa.. you own a car now!
Sorry Thia, I'll upload your goofy face next time. :DD
And Moh, you bigger tummy now as another human inside it. Kekkeke.
And zati, your expert driving skill ~~despite you curse the bad drivers as well~~. Kekkee.
And Kak In, your istikharah thing. BAHAHAHA.
And Nad, your loyalty. :D

My BFFs start their convo now, this week and the following weeks. I'm sorry if I'm not available attending yours. I dislike this formality, I dislike mine.. but I'm trying hard to love yours, dear. It just the time is not convenient, the transportation, and my malasness is something better to entertain. Kekkekeke.

But, mind you dear.. the smile above, is my pure smile. Do you still remember the giggles we had when we met?

I miss those. That's better than meeting during convo.

Whatever.

Day 19: Lawan Cakap?

2011-09-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

"Dengan kawan mengekek sangat, dengan adik beradik, mak ayah?"

"Sebab tengok masa baik, cuba masa tak?"

Entah.

Have you ever feel that you're guilty but you still can't change no matter how hard you've tried?

And I'm sorry for not being the way you want me to.

~~Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.~~

You Ask Me To

2011-09-24T22:54:00.003+08:00

I forgot to bring my camera,

They provided that.

I forgot the steps,

But immediately realized that.

I forgot to bring my heart with me,

But they encouraged me to create a new one.

I want to run away,

But they successfully let me to stay still.

I missed the past,

But apparently...

I don't know what to say.

Not now,

Not never.

Past is past.

They said that.

"Huda, are you coming?"

"Sure,"

"When will be your session?"

"Evening, at 3 pm I guess. Will you be coming too, Prof. D?"

"Yes. I need to be there for 5 days,"

"Oh, that's good. Besides my parents, you're the main reason I wanna come,"

Because Audiology starts with 'A', the first alphabet, we were set to be the first course on stage. Because of the 'A', I sat at the first line, beside the red carpet, and privileged with the clear view of the people on stage and of course the clearest one, the Canselor (do I spell it right?)

I spotted my parents and relieved they've got their seats. I spotted my second parents (Azah's), and found them straightaway. I had no other to spot and out of sudden I found Azah is very lucky. She has her husband with her where I don't. Kekekekkee.

"Everybody's holding the flowers, you want one?"

"No thanks,"

"Teddy bear like hers?"

"No. I already have one and I don't want to have another one or replacing the one that I already have,"

"Maybe you want something like them?"

"Mom, you don't have to buy me anything. I have enough. You encouraged me to come here so I won't be missing one of my special occasion. That is everything. At least I have this moment. At least I be here. At least we still bought the pictures so your grandchildren, my children wont be missing that their mother has this. Just like you said, right? I don't want you to waste your money as I don't need that,"

"Okay,"

"You don't have to ask me, neither do to be like them. I'm different. And it's not hurting me at all because I don't receive like every graduate students get. That's clearly not the reason for me to be upset. It's good to have all of those, but it is far better to be me, besides, I already make a wish, the only thing that I want to be here is this, holding the important one. Maybe someday I want to be like them. Holding a bouquet of flowers, the teddy bears, the cute presents. Someday. But not today,"

Don't worry mom, I like to be like them. I like to be appreciated like that. I like the sweet and cute things. I like the convo thing now. And I wish, I will make this occasion better in the future.

It just my own ego do the talking, mom.

I pray.

Oo Allah,

If this thing is already fated the way I want it to,

Please let me meet easily,

Without planning,

Without hoping,

Just accidentally.

So I know I can start to hope back.

But,

If it happens to be otherwise,

Then I know I can stop now,

And please,

Replace the better one for me...

Alahai Comelnya!

2011-09-20T15:40:00.005+08:00

Aku dapat sorang pesakit, lelaki, terus aku teringat dear friend of mine masa kat USM dulu. Fuh, bunyi dulu macam lamo benor. Pakai spek, tinggi bezanya kuruslah kot.

Aku punya senyum sampai malam sampai terus aku tarik keluar handphone text-ed ayat tak masuk akal.

"Salam. Saja tak ada kerja,"

Kekekkeke. Cari pasal buat orang mengamuk.

---

"Encik X, masuklah,"

Normally aku akan tengok muka, gaya, just to predict ada significant hearing loss ke tak. And macam biasa, aku akan rasa a bit tak selesa kalau kena berdua dengan lelaki apatah lagi muda.

"Lama tunggu?"

"Tak apa,"

As I have back-to-back patient, aku punya berdebar lain macam as another patient was waiting outside too.

"Okay, kita tengok apa ceritanya,"

Sambil sambil aku belek folder baca, aku senyum. Sebab everytime aku guna ayat kat atas tu, aku rasa kau dan patient tak ada barrier. Ayat tu selalu Dr. R guna untuk patient dia dan setiap kali aku observe, aku rasa seronok. Then bila aku sendiri jadi patient dia, sumpah rasa dia macam oh di apprecite sangat.

So, I will keep using it.

And setiap kali aku pandang patient ni, dia senyum je sampai aku terasa aii murah benar senyum. And each time dia nak jawab, atau dia jawab, sangat berhati-hati. Sejibik kawan aku yang sorang tu. Dan setiap kali dia jawab, dia akan tergelak kecil, dan aku kena gelak cover. Aku mana reti gelak kecik kecik nih. Gelak besar je aku reti.

"Spinning sensation?"

"Pernah, masa doktor cuci telinga. Tapi kejap je, lepas tu okay,"

"Oh, datang dengan kawan?"

"Taklah,"

"Tak? Pastu drive sendiri dengan pening macam tu,"

Dia ketawa kecik bila aku kerut kening.

"Ish bahaya tu encik,"

Sebab dia keep on smiling, aku memang tak boleh nak serius. Allolololol.

"Discharge dari telinga ada?"

Dia senyum and ketawa kecil lagi.

"Saya ada tabiat guna cotton bud. Sometimes sampai berdarah darah. Gatal,"

"Hah? Tak sakit ke?"

Dia tak jawab soalan aku tapi keep on senyum. Aku yang dengar ni pun ngilu. Tapi nilah first time aku jumpa pesakit sungguh murah sneyuman. Aku ingat aku je yang murah senyuman bila jumpa pesakit. Kkekekkekeke.

"Tu yang doktor kata dah berlubang,"

Menganga aku, tapi dia kekal senyum. Sumpah aku rasa mamat ni sweet time ni.

Sebenarnya aku tak perlu masuk kerja pun that day, tapi disebabkan nurse call ada patients so aku yang jenis tak boleh dengar benda macam ni, terus okay kan aja since aku pun bukan buat apa dan aku berkebetulan perlu ke hospital untuk setelkan hari graduasi. Damn I hate that.

So padahnya bila aku masuk kerja tak terduga ialah tak ambil breakfast, tak bawak air, tak bring any coklat as I always do. Dan bila aku tak breakfast masalahnya is this; perut aku menyanyikan lagu rocksss! So that day adalah evil kot aku harap patient will hove at least mild loss so he wont notice that. Despite aku tau (perhaps aku predict je), yang dia masih tak ada anak (or maybe tak kahwin lagi), aku guna jugak sampai aku geli hati sendiri.

"Anak tak ada komen ke kalau encik tengok TV, volume kena kuat ke?"

Kerut kening. Aku ketawa dalam hati.

Geleng kepala.

Now the horror part ialah during the assessments perut aku dah beronar sakan! And kepala aku pening sebab aku dah mula cuba tak makan after 8pm so sekarang dah 1230 pm, maunya aku tak separuh pengsan?

I laughed off as the patient started to notice.

"Kesian doktor, tak sempat makan eh?"

DEMIT!

Bila 5 minit keadaan tak okay so aku terpaksa buat kerja gila, tengok handphone utnuk masa. mintak maaf kena keluar kejap perhaps hoping ada emergency or look like that. Benda ni takkan setel and aku tak ada masa nak makan ke or whatever as I had another patient waiting.

And I went to toilet so guess what I was doing?

HAHAHA.

HAHAHA. HAHAHHA.

HAHAHA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Aku pergi tandas minum tiga teguk air paip lepas tu aku rasa nak muntah starightway!

Banyak Cantik?

2011-09-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

Tak adalah beautiful mana just hmm.. hanging out with dear friends masa zaman zaman belajar and text-ed the others to let them what? Jealous? Haaa.

We decided to watch movie yang dah tentu tentu aku yang pilih cerita.

"Kak Hud. Ni?"

"Aku tak layan melayu, sorry,"

"Huda, yang ni?"

"Urgh.. tak layan komedi,"

Sudahnya aku pilih Contagion yang aku dah tahu and boleh predict jalan cerita. Nak pilih Final Destination 5, kang ada yang termuntah dalam tu kang. Cliche sangat kot cerita macam ni. Well, cerita a bit slow, bosan for another word. Virus datang, jumpa cure, dunia stabil kembali. Simple. Bukan takat simple, lembab pun iye.

Hahahha.

Well, aku cuba tengok perspektif berbeza. ~~Sebenarnya nak kasi alasan biar worth spend tiga belas hinggit~~. Actually, aku terasa cerita ni berbaur politik pada awalnya. Blogger-politician-citizen. Makin lama aku tengok, makin ternampak jelas yeppp, it's more or less.. political issue.

Itu satu hal.

Satu hal yang lain, aku sedar yang nilai normal manusia amat mudah terjejas bila keadaan mendesak. Salah satu scene yang buat aku telan air liur, wuu macam mana merusuh boleh jadi sesenang dan secepat sekelip mata? Like whoaaa?

Aku yang pernah terperangkap dalam deruan manusia yang tiba-tba membanjiri kawasan beg aku tengah pegang, pun dah cukup lemas terus larikan diri. Inikan pulak rusuhan yang dah sah sah kalau kau mati siapa nak peduli?

Huh! Sebab tu aku tak suka Jusco buat Happy Hour! Nanti aku lemas tengah jalan. Jantung laju, peluh menitik, kepala berdenyut. Eh, tetiba.

Dan aku terfikir, berapa ramai pemimpin yang sanggup berkorban macam yang ada dalam cerita ni. Jauh panggang dari api kot. Yang ramai adalah yang bila naik jadi pemimpin, maka parti heyy mari mengumpul harta habis habisan.

Kalau apa yang aku cakap ni salah, maka seharusnya tidak terjadilah rampasan juta jutaan Tunisia, ataupun tidak terjadilah emas kilo kilo-an Libya. Dan, tak adalah baju dinner saja 14 almari, 36 rak, dan 117 stor. Tu baru dinner. Lunch? Breakfast? Supper?

Kalau ada sepuluh waktu makan, sepuluh jenis almari lah kan. Belum masa berpuluh-puluh jenis perayaan. Tak kira lagi yang enterpremmmmmm punya pakaian.

Macam kalau jadi pemimpin maknanya kau kaya. Kan? Nasib tak nampak dosa dosa sendiri atas kepala. Belum masuk dosa rakyat berat bahu pikul, berat lagi otak ketakutan nanti. Kalaulah tuhan bagi nampak satu dosa kau buat, tinggg keluar suara! Sila ambil peringatan, satu dosa telah dibuat, sila top up dengan 2 kali pahala agar nilai timbangan anda mencukupi untuk masuk syurga.

Tak adanya orang nak jadi perdana menteri siap tawar diri oh lantiklah aku aku aku!

Tuhan tak buat macam tu. Sebab tu ada dosa pahala syurga neraka.

Kalaulah ada sistem macam ni, sumpah tak ada orang nak jadi ketua.

Kejap. Bukan kau nak cerita pasal movie Contagion ke?

Day 18: I Believe

2011-09-17T11:08:00.002+08:00

I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I believe there will be always smiley faces over the dark shade of ugly hurt.

I believe sooner or later truth will be revealed.

I believe I'll be somebody someday.

I believe true love is exist, it just the matter of time.

I believe that the people whom I hurt, will understand the reasons I hide.

I believe everybody deserve a second chance.

I believe people will change, they always do.

I believe I 'll be wrong even when I'm right if I keep whispering the way I want it to be.

I believe the wrong that I made during my childhood, will faded in everybody's mind AND STOP ACCUSING ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT RELATED TO ANY OF IT.

I believe...
I believe... I believe...
I believe... I believe... I believe...

And I believe, everytime I drink a cup of caffeine; my day will turned out as lovely as ever.

"The world is divided into two classes, those who believe the incredible, and those who do the improbable,"

~Oscar Wilde

~~Day 18 - Your beliefs.~~

Day 17: One of the Days

2011-09-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

My high this past year:

I hold my appointment to the psychiatrist and tried to work it out my ways. It was half worked, and another half, failed. Despite the failure, I learnt. I learnt how to stand up stronger after a few series of falls. I learnt to ease a bit my hatred and anger. I learnt that the superiority will never kill me no matter how deep the cut they made. I could have wept along the way, but I chose to try harder (of course sometimes with tears, it's unavoidable for human).

What else should I honored to be my highest achievement other than this?

My low this past year:

Fake the feelings, obviously nonsense. Life nowadays has been struggle. Life at this past year was a struggle too. Struggle between finding my own future and pleasing others. Struggle between letting go something I love, and trying to learn new things I certainly dislike. Struggling to love, and to hate at the same time. Struggling is hard, it lower self esteem, it is a conflict. Inner conflict. The conflict that you, again, have to struggle to beat for two answers.

It is either you beat it successfully and win, or... otherwise.

~~Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.~~

Day 16: Halwa Telinga

2011-09-12T15:31:00.000+08:00

Kalau kau tanya aku pasal music, aku pun tak tahu nak jawab macam mana sebab tak macam movie, aku ada genre tertentu yang aku pilih. Kalau muzik, itu bergantung pada keadaan. Dan uniknya, perasaan aku boleh berubah sama seiring dengan lagu yang dimainkan dengan mp3/radio.

Dan paling dahsyat, aku boleh recall segala memori best dan tak best just dengar lagu yang ada sangkut paut. Kalau yang kenangan yang tak berapa nak best, aku sangatlah bertendency untuk tutup sekejap so aku tak akan dengar lagu tu.

Kata orang jaga perasaan auwww.

Motif aku tulis ni, aku nak cakap muzik atau melodi atau lullaby atau apa sahaja jenis bunyi yang mengandungi pelbagai jenis complex waves boleh memainkan emosi dan perasaan. Lecturer aku kata, itu disebabkan beat/rentak yang ada pada muzik yang menyebabkan jantung kau akan berdegup seiring dengan beat tersebut.

That's why kalau kau dengar lagu semangat, dengan kau kau rasa nak berperang sama.

Eh apa motif dengan soalan mainstream?

Haaaa. Kan lagu zaman sekarang ni pelik ~~terutamanya lagu raya~~. Lagu paling aku tak tahan lagu yang orang bercakap laju ke rap namanya. He.. macam eh? Kau nyanyi ke kau bercakap laju.

Bukan ke kalau nyanyi nada suara kau ada lenggok lenggok? Dah kalau kau bercakap laju oh rap, mana lengggang lenggok mak iloi iloi?

Kkekekekke.

Tak pe, aku suka jugak lagu I'm coming home, I'm coming home, tell the world that I'm coming home.. despite the cakap laju and the rapppszzz.

So, mainstream music is good and yeah I lab it!

Heheheh.

~~Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.~~

Pathetic

2011-09-10T12:56:00.001+08:00

Patients like me. Patients'parents like me. My working friends like me. The doctor is okay with me. I work hard. I don't ask for extra payment. I work always more than I supposed to. I am happy. Very happy.

But then, past history really haunted me ever since and resulting me to hate myself at this current moment.

Why?

Day 15 - I Said

2011-09-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

I like quotes and normally try to search at least one everyday. And I don't have specific quote to be my favourite because it changes according to the situation.

But the one I made myself, means a lot to me. :)

~~Day 15 - Your favorite quotes.~~

Reading

2011-09-07T09:15:00.003+08:00

Gila malas nak tulis review. Hahahhaha. Hanget hanget tahi ayam sungguh. So aku letak je lah buku buku worth reading atau akan jadi worth reading. Ni ikut kepala otak aku lah kan sebab genre orang lain lain. Huu. Kalau novel, aku rasa worth spend masa baca true story. Aku rasa touching lebey. :P

Currently Done Reading

Aku malas nak buat review kali ni sebab tu lah bertangguh tu tak bagus, bila macam gini malas. Ecehehh.

Ni buku smart ah baca tak sabar nak tahu apa jadi apa jadi. Very twisting plot and phewwww. Kita kalau baca buku, kita akan imagine orang tertentu kan untuk satu satu watak. Aku imagine stau budak ni untuk buku ni dan aku pun pelik kenapa aku boleh fikir itu budak. -.-"

5 starszzz.

Hmmm. Pernah cakap kan dulu aku dah macam tertarik nak tahu pasal kisah kisah war kan? So bila ternampak ni, terus grab. Heee. Mungkin gak sebab ada perkataan quotes as well.

2.5 stars. Sebabnya, kau dahlah cetek pasal war pastu nak jump jump baca hak entah mana mana muncul. So hadam jelah benda tak berapa nak faham.

Yeps. Buku ni terbaik gak buat kau rasa kau nak buat yang terbaik untuk kali terakhir. Apa yang kau akan ubah kalau kau mati hari ni sebab selama hidup kau, tak ubah kau macam orang jahat or nakal. Masa baca ni, ada doubt sikitlah bagus ke tak sebab cerita dalam ni lifestyle omputeh, so macam tak match kalau nak compare dengan kita, muslim punya life. Sebab even dia dah ubah jadi terbaik, still tak baik untuk kita. Tapi, kita ambil konklusi yang baik yang aku tulis pada ayat pertama dan kedua. :)

3.9 stars.

Pertama aku suka apa apa yang mengenai budak. Kedua aku suka true story. So since terjumpa buku ini, aku mula berangan angan nak cukupkan koleksi as buku dia phewww~ Tapi duit aku yang tak berapa nak phew makanya kenalah aku save setiap duit aku ada dan beli sedikit demi sedikit lama lama cukup set. Hahhahaha.

Buku ni memang kesian. Asal tukar satu bab, geram. Satu bab, kesian. Kesian kesian kesian dan yeay!

4 stars!

Masih buku yang sama dan ada satu bab buat aku seka air mata! Kalau kau baca buku ni, kau akan terfikir ada juga bangsa mak jenis macma gini! Ish! Memang tak logik, tapi itulah yang berlaku. Tagline sesuai untuk buku ni aku rasalah kan, Don't Drink While Parenting. Huuu!

4.5 stars.

Currently Reading.

Buku ni hadiah ayah aku untuk birthday adik aku. Disebabkan aku dah kehausan buku ~~padahal banyak lagi buku dalam rumah ni yang kau nak haus haus tu pehal?~~ makanya aku pun kobek kobek lah tak buku adik aku dan yang ni yang berjaya menarik perhatian.

Sebab masih lagi membaca, aku tak leh komen lago so far. Chill!

Future Reading.

Insyallah!

Sekarang mengumpul sikit sikit duit untuk 3 buku kat bawah dan beberapa lagi yang tak berapa nak kesampaian. Sob sob sob.

Hopefully.

In hope of many things to come true. Insyallah!

Favouright [1]

2011-09-06T09:23:00.001+08:00

Accept the differences, appreciate yourself.

Peace.

The Day

2011-09-05T11:27:00.002+08:00

Found this in my blog gallery and well hmmm..
How is you health buddy? Maybe you can click here and get it answered. After raya, means that a lot of makan makan and you will probably get sick!

... [26]

2011-09-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

When I work, I work with all my heart even it means bringing work home and unsure future. HE knows. Definitely, HE is.

Spot

2011-09-04T01:14:00.001+08:00

Kid's favorite spot, tickle her belly with your face!

See her pure and sweet smile! I heart the chuckle!

Tak Ada Yang Bagusnya

2011-09-03T14:43:00.001+08:00

I watched Behind The Enemy Lines last night and seriously, war is suck! You know why sometimes we will be a little bit reluctant to help poor country, and visiting developing country? We will be killed like what had happened to Malaysian journalist in Mogadishu, Somalia and developing countries will be prejudice to certain people because of the past histories and yet, accusing for illegal doing or something and WAR!

And all of them have no ethics during war.

Bombing.

Kill innocent civilians.

Raping.

Tortured the captives.

24-hour battle.

Most important, dirty strategies to win! COWARD!

Islam berperang juga, ada dalam sejarah, tapi masih beretika. Kalau kau baca, baru kau rasa tersentuh hati dan faham dan terima dan yakin dan paling penting, kau akan tahu perang perang zaman hari ni semua jahat semua dosa semua busuk!

War is suck!

Thank you.

Makeover [1]

2011-09-02T14:03:00.001+08:00

Lama sungguh aku hanya singgah untuk berada di rumah, but this time maybe, maybe untuk kekal but, well.. hmm. Let it be. Ada satu kerusi dalam bilik aku ni tua dan uzur bebenor. Lusuh kes tak ada orang dan disebabkan aku rasa ada mood nak elokkan kerusi tu balik, so inilah kerja aku semalam.

Makanya proses memilih fabrik dan corak adalah atas kepala aku. Eh, suka hati akulah kan! Makanya, ada tiga kain aku ambil. Satu cadar tak bergetah.Pantang betul pakai cadar tak ada getah! Susah! Kedua, kain batik yang sungguh licin. Kain batik tak boleh licin hokay, nanti menggelongsor. Ketiga, kain cotton dalam rumah entah mana aku kutip.

Kain batik lemah lembut licin oh!

Cadar tak ada getah huh susah!

Kain kutip entah mana.

Oh, abaikan kesemua warna yang berwarna hijau. Mata aku ni tak reti nampak warna lain pun cantik sama.

And, here is the closed up view.

Fikirkan Yang Lain

2011-09-01T23:01:00.003+08:00

Kadang rasa susah hati,

Orang lain sukar lagi.

Kerapkali tak tertanggung mata,

Bahu menanggung lebih tersiksa.

Demam batuk dan perit kepala,

Teruk lagi yang bersabung nyawa.

Ada hidangan tak terkenan selera,

Mereka menelan sisa yang ada.

Pada susah mereka.

Pada lapar mereka.

Pada sakit mereka.

Pada derita mereka.

Pada segala sukar yang tidak kita rasa.

Marilah berkongsi apa yang ada.

Zakat Fitrah at Masjid Jamek.

Ramadhan 29, 1432 H.

Sebelum Di Proses

2011-08-30T18:14:00.003+08:00

Hahahahha. Inilah pictures pre and during the kuih manis diabetes the making sepanjang Ramadhan. Inilah dia antara kuih kuih sempat diabadikan di dalam handphone sebelum dimakan dan dihadam. Picturesssss are all so random dan tak tersusun. Pepandailah teka mana dulu mana kemudian.

The not-in-the-pictures but still deliciasss marveliasss yoummmy yoummy are...!

1. The kuih sagu mata ikan warna mesti hijau!

2. Butir nangka. The Kelantan kuih that never made by any part of nangka cesss!

3. Asam gumpal. Again, the kuih made from sago with the kacang hijau filling. Oh, so tawar hebeh but nicely shaped wehuu!

3. Begedil daging sedaaaaaapppppp but not very sedap because I used the ground meat from Ramlee's product. I made once with manually minced meat and it was more slurppp than this one. Oh!

4. Aiskrim cempedak. Extra cempedak from daddy's kebun sekangkang kera, and ini macam kedai punya aiskrim wa cakap sama lu!

5. Kuih seri muka. Because it was greenish kuih with glutinous rice so I loikeeee! The taste and the colour was awesome!

6. My first time ever kari daging pekat melekat jilat jari!

7. My worst newbie tomyam ayam ever. Sangat masam. Macam mana tak masam asam keping dua, perahan limau sebijik, tomata empat bijik! Hambeeeeeeek!

8. Ayam goreng kunyit without sos tiram daddy refused but still crunchy!

9. Ayam masak lemak cili api sungguh terbaikkk pedasnya!

10. Eh, habis dah!

Semua ayat nak ada tanda seru. Eksaited terlebih. Hehheehe. Anyway, memasak sungguh fun sama fun macam melukis menconteng bertukang. I should have known this earlier.

Okay, babai. Nak gi makan rendang yummmy!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Here

2011-08-29T09:21:00.000+08:00

Here in my heart,

I will tell you what this is all about,

Only when you ask me,

If there is something that I hide?

Salam Lebaran

SELAMAT BERMAAFAN

Kessokkk Hati

2011-08-28T17:38:00.002+08:00

"You ni baru grad ke? Muda semacam je tengok,"

"Bulan 9 ni Insyallah grad,"

Senyum.

"Hospital ni ambik eh fresh grad kerja?"

Sinis gila. Err?

"Mesti gaji you banyak kan? Bukan senang senang fresh graduate dapat kerja hospital macam ni,"

Sinis lagi.

p/s: Gaji banyak? Only if you know, my dear patient....

HAHAHHAHA. BIG LAUGH!

2011-08-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

Kau tahu punyalah susah aku nak hadam bahasa orang puteh. Nak masuk U paling sikit kau kena dapat band 3. Kalau markah band 3 tu paling sikit 129, 129 lah aku dapatt. Pheww. Nyaris nyaris. Kalau tak, takdenya kau jumpa aku kat USM. Syukurrr.

Disebabkan audio dekat hospital aku buat part time ni sangat baru, maka proposal untuk propose barang adalah atas kepala aku. Hadei. Kau ingat senang nak buat proposal pulak tu pakai bahasa omputeh? Aku buat proposal penyelidikan pun dah separuh nazak, lagikan proposa entah apa apa tak tau format macam ni? Lagilah.

Dua hari kot aku mengadap komputer baca segala jenis mak nenek proposal bisnes, klinik, pusat rehabilitasi bla bla bla. Naik biul aku menghadap menghadam.

Smart tak opis aku? Opislah sangatttt! Dahlah sejuk gila sampai nak muntah! Rajin kan aku meja penuh kertas? Percayalah tu semua hanyalah kertas proposal, brochures audio yang aku kena reka, sampah betul takde photoshop kat komputer rumah! Oh, dan segala macam jurnal berkaitan. Tu kau tak tengok lagi lantai kat sebelah kerusi, dah macam tong sampah kertas akademik dah ghupanya.

Mengadap dah berjam jam. Nak reka ayat omputeh, berjam jam lagi. Sampaikan nak buat muka depan, dah sakai dah ayat aku tunggang terbalik. Nasib ada BFF Hakim (dan dan tu kau naik pangkat jadi BFF aku, Hakim! Hahhahaha!)

"Proposal For Adding Audiology Instrument. Betulkan grammar aku, Hakim. Pleaseee.."

"Betul dah tu. Lepas /for/ kena ada /-ing/ kalau verb. Ni proposal apa? Tajuk research ke kau just nak minta tambah instrument?"

"Hee. Tambah instrument,"

"Kalau macam tu bukan ke kau patut tulis Proposing For More Audiology Instrument ataupun Proposing/Request For An Addition of Audiology InStrument?"

"Ooo eh? Yeay! Sedap sikit bunyinya!"

"Memanglah sedap, struktur ayat kau yang tak betul, bukan grammar pun,"

Ketahuilah Hakim, sesungguhnya aku ketawa terbahak-bahak baca mesej kau dan bangga ada kawan yang selalu boleh tolong aku betulkan English. Hhahahha.

Akukan tengah buat kerja part time audiologist, ada satu masalah dengan bilik tu yang menyebabkan aku kena buat aduan. Masalah tak adalah besar, takat bunyi aircond tak de pekaknya telinga kau. Tapi, kalau kau dah pegang title audiologis, tu masalah besar!

Maka turun naiklah aku mengadu. Oh tipu. Orang orang biomed dan maintenace yang turun naik cari aku teheee.

"Cik Huda?"

"Yes. Just call me Huda,"

"We received a complaint that bla bla bla,"

"Yeah. Please come in and hear it yourself. The aircond is quite loud for this room, and I would say all of my patients get distracted, hard to focus hence affecting the test result. It's hard for me to diagnose,"

"Hmm. Yes yes. I can hear that. You can test on me?"

"Sure! You can experience it, so you will know how bad it is,"

Mulakan ujian, sesekali ada anggukan dari pekerja ini. Lega.

"Your english is good-lah. Which school you graduated?"

Aku tersedak. Nak ketawa pun ada. Kalau dia tahu mesej aku pada Hakim, sumpah dia tak puji aku. Hahhaha.

"Oh, Universiti Sains Malaysia,"

"Penang?"

"That's the main campus. For health, Kubang Kerian Kelantan,"

"Baguslah USM,"

HAHAHHAHAHHAH! USM jugak dapat nama! :D

Day 14 - Your earliest memory

2011-08-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

Bad dream bad dream go away,

Good dream good dream here to stay.

It was during my 4 years of life.

I remember nothing for my earliest memory but bad dream and have been haunted ever since. I remember the dream clearly; the train with the high speed, the dark misty late evening, and a dead wood-stump in the middle of the lake.

The rails were broken and I witnessed the scene where the train just waiting to be plunged into. I couldn't speak, couldn't shout, just silent. And, whammpppppp!

I stared at a victim; a boy that was hanging on the wood-stump and struggled to safe himself.

I just stood still, stared and silent. And, I was scared and I cried. Mommy woke me up because I cried badly during sleeping.

I still remember the smell of the lake and that stump. I still can hear the noisy sounds came from the high speed old train. And, that dream had background music too which was horror!

I've been keeping this bad dream for 20 years but I revealed it three times; I told my lecturer and classmates during our Psychology class, I wrote not in detail at my previous blog and here. I speak out when I'm afraid, but keep silent when it hurts. :)

So, this dream is scary and at the same time, it is hurting. I am afraid that I will caught dreaming about it again and I don't want it to happen! I already have multiple type of repeating bad dreams and adding a new one (actually the oldest and scariest one), is not a good idea.

Yes. Multiple repeated bad dreams until now. NOW.

Day 13 - This Is The Place

2011-08-25T10:21:00.000+08:00

Besides Mecca, this is a place where I want to spend my lonely moment. It is not really what I've imagined since my 17 years old, but close.

Misty. Bench. Cold.

p/s: In my imagination, it should be a small river too.

I Will

2011-08-24T00:42:00.002+08:00

"Huda, you kena sambung master. At least master kalau you nak pergi jauh,"

Pandang dalam dalam mata doktor kacak. Syukur kerana masih berjumpa ENTist sebaik dan seconcern dan sentiasa memberi dorongan macam Prof. Din dan Dr. Rosdan. Sangat refuse untuk move on yet, even few offers terbuka luas. Oh, remind you this... the 'kacak' thing doesn't mean I am easily attracted to nice looking guys (sometimes yes anyhow :P) but this 'kacak' is different.

Not all the guys meet the requirement of my kacak-ness despite the looking. No no no. My lecturers are all kacak, especially my Dr. N and my speech lecturer Mr. K (soon-to-be Dr! Sangat inspired dengan dia hokayy!). The kacak-ness is applied to those kind-and-nice-and-easy-to-help-hearted people. Peace. :)

"I will and I want to. Doktor doakan saya eh? I have a plan, dan saya masih menunggu,"

A Lot!

2011-08-22T23:01:00.001+08:00

"Bila lagi akak rasa dia tak dengar?"

"Lama dah. Dari darjah 2"

"Kalau boleh describe pada saya?"

"Kalau cakap selalu buat tak tahu. Panggil tak berjawab. Tanya lain jawab lain. Mostly, memang saya perasan dia tak dengarlah,"

Hmmm.

"Cikgu ada cakap apa apa?"

"Ada. Kata cikgu dia, kat sekolah payah nak bagi attention. Saya rasa sebab dia tak dengar, jadi payah lagi dia nak bagi attention tu,"

"Maaf saya tanya, pelajaran dia, makin merudum ke atau sama atau macam mana?"

"Yang tu saya perasan dari darjah 2 sampai darjah 5, setiap tahun mesti turun kelas. Now kelas ke-6,"

"Okay. Masalah lain kalau nak tambah pada saya?"

"Ayah dia selalu complain dia cakap tak fikir dulu. Main cakap je. Pulak tu cakap, payah sangat nak find words. Kalau dia nak cakap satu sentence, kita yang letih nak dengar apa dia nak bagitahu,"

Hmmm.

"Kawan-kawan dia ada cakap apa apa tak,"

"Oh, aah. Adik dia pernah cakap; Mama, kawan abang tanya abang gagap ke?"

Hmmm. Paling pada si comel ini.

"Abang, abang susah ke nak dengar? Cuba cerita dengan kakak,"

"Susah. Abang susah nak dengar. Abang susah nak dengar cikgu cakap. Abang susah nak dengar kawan kawan cakap,"

Argh. Tarik nafas.

"Okay puan, kalau ikut ujian yang kita dah buat hari ni, dari keputusan ni memang nampak dia sepatutnya tak ada masalah pendengaran....."

Oh damn! Please do not be Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) at my very early working period. I have a lot to read regarding psychoacoustic and now, CAPD? It's two different thing and I need time to work on it!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Baru Masuk Kandang, Biasalaaahhhhh

2011-08-22T06:20:00.001+08:00

Ada banyak tepung.

Tepung gandum.

Tepung jagung.

Tepung beras.

Tepung pulut.

Tepung kastard.

Tepung kastard paling menarik! Bila campur dengan air, tukar kaler warna kuning wooo.

Very MAGIC!

A Beautiful Day

2011-08-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

"You like a hearing specialist-lah?"
"Kind of,"

Aku ketawa. They paid me for two days a week, but I come for the whole week. How nice is that? Not that nice. The money I earn mana cukup oh nak tampung hidup nasib tak beranak pinak lagi. Eh kau kahwin dah ke?

Duit yang dapat gi beli ingredients masakan sebab gila memasak sekarang. Bajet nak jadi perempuan sejati booo oh booo. Anyway, I'm so looking forward to help people. The thing is, I am choosy, specific and detail.

Sebelum interview search situ search sini padahal dua hari je, cari dulu siapa ENT. Kerja aku ni, kalau tak jumpa ENT, jumpa speech. Kalau tak jumpa speech, jumpa ENT. Maka, kalau salah satunya adalah handsome, itu merupakan bonus terbesar!

The first hospital, hmmm, relationship dengan other personal macam tak best. Oh tidak. The second, lagilah no no no. The third, google. Wehuuuu, banyak blog tulis benda benda menarik makanya okay!

~~Doktor pulak sumpah handsome~~!

Haipppp, Huda!

Because this is private hospital, aku assume orang-orangnya educated. Cuma, cuma, cuma, aku tak gemar nak berspeaking as english aku bukannya bagus. Sekali cakap, ranaaaaaapp. Oleh kerana itu, bila patient malay, gasak kaulah kau nak cakap bahasa omputehpun, aku tetap melayu.

Bukan ke kita kena memartabatkan bahasa ke?

~~Lempang diri sendiri~~.

Kau tahulah bila kau kena kerja dengan orang yang interview kau, mulalah asal nak request benda suara ketar ketar. Tambah dengan muka handsome, ayat yang elok cantik disusun pun terbang bersimpang siur.

"Err.. doktorr... ermm.. saya.. err nak minta benda.. erm.. kalau doktor tak boleh tak apa.. ermm, saya.."

Susah gila nak cakap!

"Apa?"

Cisss! Penat aku susun ayat, beriya kau tengok aku, kau tak dengar pun aku cakap apa. Hampeh. Sia sia aku karang idea nak cakap penuh hikmah. Sia sia aku dilahirkan dengan suara lantang tapi kau dengar aku mumbling. Sia sia aku cover ayu. Eh?

"Macam ni, erm practice saya, sepatutnya saya dapatkan result ni dulu then saya baru proceed. Boleh tak kalau Dr. hantar patient, Dr. bagi folder sekali? Errmmm sebab, saya, err... nak ada view.. ermm, kalau Dr. tak kisahlah,"

"Boleh boleh. Nanti nurse hantar dengan folder,"

Oh phewwww. Lega satu hal.

"Dr., Dr. expect saya buat PTA je ke? Atau.."

"Kenapa awak tanya macam tu,"

Terus rindu kat Prof. Din, Dr. Rosdan, the best ENT everrrr. Terus rasa dihargai. Terus rasa bermakna kerja bersama rather than kerja dibawah mereka. Terus call Prof. Din tapi tak angkat. Seka air mata.

"Sebab, with one instrument, I learn few other tests can be proceeded, of course depends on patient. And, just now, I suspect of retrocohclear, I can do few tests immediately... tapi, ermmm saya tak tahu Dr. nak saya praktis macam mana,"

"Yes. Just do apa yang you rasa boleh. And kalau you nak suggest mana mana test pun kalau you rasa perlu, jot down kat folder as your suggestion,"

Tingg!

Nasib lif buka awal, kalau tak dan dan tu aku rasa nak seka air mata terharu. Kau tau tak perasaan happy bekerja dengan orang kita suka? Kau tau tak perasaan tu buat kau tak sabar nak masuk untuk esok hari bila jam dah pukul lima? Kau tahu tak perasaan tu; perasaan nak seka air mata rasa dihargai.

"Encik Mohd X, sila masuk,"

Pandang patient, to see any significance of hearing loss. No. Nothing. Except for the handsome face, otherwise, perfectly normal. Eh? :P Kerling folder, 28 tahun? Oh makkk. Mudanya. Gelisah oh kena berdua macam ni. :'(

"Masuklah. Saya baca folder kejap ye,"

"So, you ni macam hearing specialistlah,"

Sambil ketuk ketuk dinding bilik.

"Kind of. And you, must be guitarist?"

"No. Drummer. How do you know?"

"Very common, musician will be impressed with the room and start to knock on the wall just like you did,"

We both laugh.

Cuma satulah. Disebabkan bilik tak sebesar USM, memang tertutup, and terpaksa berdua tanpa chaperon dengan patient, aku kena sorok gugup dan takut aku. Mau tak takut? Walau badan aku gemuk hahhaa, tapi sekali lelaki sepak, terpelanting. Dengan bilik senyap macam tu, siapa nak dengar?

"Okay, here we go. Tell me your problem. I'd like to hear,"

Hahhahahahhaha. Private hospital bolehlah nak berstory telling macam ni. Kau buat perangai macam ni kat government, kalau tak kena belasah dengan rakan sekerja, kena belasah dengan patient yang tunggu que. Hek hek hek.

The whole process will be almost the same though for now USM is better to me. I mean The equipment. But the only sentence will never change at the very last session and I like it very much to use!

"Ada apa apa yang rasa tak jelas nak tanya?"

Bila patient senyum dan menggeleng, I feel finished and settled!

And I LOVE it!

Definitely, okay!

2011-08-20T06:43:00.001+08:00

Okay.

Next move.

It's hurt a bit but yeah, it's okay.

At least the day is still nice and I CAN see it.

p/s: Thanks Ally Iskandar, for all the uploaded nice vid and I hope I can see Mr. Said Abdullah Thani again.

S.T.O.P

2011-08-19T08:13:00.005+08:00

I'm scared of future, not only my future but the whole future. I'm paranoid people; scared of everything. I'm afraid of sleeping, because I'm afraid of not waking up the next morning. I'm afraid of driving a car, I may hit somebody the next minute. I'm afraid of migraine, I think I have a tumour in my head. I'm afraid of nausea or vomit, I may have cancer. I'm afraid of catching cold, I may have stop breathing. I'm afraid long distance journey, I'm scared caught in accident. I'm afraid of easily to like people, I may hurt later. I'm afraid of people asking for my help when we met out of sudden or in a street, they may have hidden agenda.

I'm scared of everything.

I even worry of increasing number of deaf people, it means my profession is not good enough. I'm worry of global warming, I thought we will be burnt silently. I'm worry of economy crisis, I'm afraid that the whole people in the world will be starving and leads to violence. I'm worry of non-educated TV programs, I'm afraid of my future nation.

I'm worry of everything.

Sometimes (or perhaps most of the time), I can feel that I'm unsettled and talking to much to myself which is unnecessary.

I remind myself that stop worrying about tomorrow. If all the people starving, it means all, we all will be sharing the moment. There is no need to worry or afraid because nobody knows what happens later. No need to worry until we have to. And, even the time is coming, no need to worry to face it.

That's what I said.

That's what I force myself to believe.

I've been trying to fit in the society here, even sometimes it makes me sick. I stop isolating and try to be more open.

You know that I am easily like people? That's I hate the most because I'am easily to be hated. Sometimes, because of the paranoid, I always think negative. It's bad. I assume, and imagine that everything will be bad no matter what I do.

Somehow I beg to myself to just stop. And whisper within myself to that people; stop pushing me away... (even he/she doesn't anyway).

It is okay. Okay. I try to convince myself everytime I face the difficult times of when I caught being worry or scared or felt uneasy; It is okay. It is always will.

I always tell my self that;

I'm brave.

At least I'm trying to...

I Am So Damned!

2011-08-18T01:47:00.006+08:00

I hate high heel, they forbid flat shoe.
I hate elite style, they encourage stylish.

I prefer malay, they use a lot English.
I'm okay sharing, they're always choosing.

I dislike formality,
They strongly choose amenities.

I'm fine with the same chair,
Standing with different height; is what they care.

I'm happy and freely helping,
But stuck with every penny that they're counting.

I always make the needful faster,
But guilty skipping the step procedure.

I care the fast, hidden needs,
It means longer time for it to be fixed.

Care, smile, and be kind.
Oh, that's what stated for the tagline!

I like and love everything here,
But there's something make it can't cure.

I am newbie and I am me.
Give me time to absorb slowly.

I am me and I am newbie,
Please don't frown upon me.

I hope for longer lasting.
But I just guess I'm leaving...

Rain

2011-08-16T13:52:00.002+08:00

Bad dream bad dream,

Go away.

Good dream good dream,

Here to stay.

Have you ever feel empty?

I am. Now.

Dadah

2011-08-15T08:46:00.000+08:00

Oh Dunia!

Dalam tengah mulia bulan Ramadhan ni, sedih jiwa baca.

It happened when mummy woke me up for sahur and she nervously said, "Bangun bangun! Ayah pergi Flora, beratus polis tengah tembak menembak,"

I was like, ni exaggerate ke apa sampai beratus polis. Anyhow, this must be something big happened. And yes, it is indeed.

---

Pengedar dadah ditembak mati

Oleh ABDUL HAKIM AB. RAHMAN

pengarang@utusan.com.my

AB. RASyID Ab. Wahab (dua dari kanan) menunjukkan senjata tajam, dadah, pistol dan barang-barang lain yang dirampas dalam serbuan di sebuah unit kediaman di Pangsapuri Flora, Balakong, Selangor pada sidang akhbar di Ibu Pejabat Polis Daerah Kajang, Selangor, semalam.

KUALA LUMPUR 14 Ogos – Polis menembak mati seorang pengedar dadah dan memberkas enam yang lain termasuk dua wanita selepas berbalas tembakan dalam serbuan di sebuah unit kediaman di Pangsapuri Flora, Balakong, dekat sini awal pagi tadi.

Dalam kejadian kira-kira pukul 1 pagi itu, polis turut merampas 200 gram dadah jenis heroin, ganja dan syabu bernilai RM500,000, dua pucuk pistol jenis Glock dan Revolver dan sepucuk pistol tiruan.

Selain itu, dua buah kereta BMW dan Mitsubishi dan empat buah komputer riba turut dirampas.

Menurut Ketua Polis Daerah Kajang, Asisten Komisioner Ab. Rasyid Ab. Wahab, suspek dan seorang wanita bertindak melarikan diri ke dalam sebuah bilik sejurus sepasukan anggota polis menyerbu masuk rumah tersebut.

Katanya, ketika itu, terdapat tujuh orang di ruang tamu rumah termasuk dua wanita.

“Suspek yang mempunyai rekod jenayah lampau berkaitan jenayah rogol, dipujuk agar menyerah diri namun enggan dan bertindak menembak ke arah anggota polis.

“Polis yang bertindak balas, telah melepaskan tembakan dan mengenai perut serta tangan suspek mengakibatkan lelaki itu terbunuh,” katanya pada sidang akhbar di Ibu Pejabat Polis Daerah Kajang dekat sini hari ini.

Beliau berkata, wanita yang berada bersama suspek, bagaimanapun berjaya dipujuk keluar untuk menyerah diri.

Katanya, ujian air kencing terhadap enam suspek yang ditahan berusia 22 hingga 47 tahun itu didapati positif dadah.

“Kes akan disiasat mengikut Seksyen 307 Kanun Keseksaan kerana cubaan membunuh dan 39B Akta Dadah Berbahaya 1952 yang memperuntukkan hukuman gantung,” ujarnya.

Menurutnya, mayat suspek dihantar ke Hospital Serdang untuk bedah siasat.

Sumber: Sini.

---

Mohon jauhlah dari segala malapetaka bahaya jenayah. Doalah jelah pendinding... kita ni bukan siapa siapa, tiada jaminan mana mana untuk selamat melainkan izin DIA dan untuk itu, doalah jalan terbaik.

Berelonze!

2011-08-13T21:18:00.006+08:00

Berelonze babeh!

Berelonze pretayyy!

Berelonze handsome!

Berelonze guys!

Berelonze!

Eh? What? What Berelonze means?

Say Berelonze! Say it! Say it! Say it loud. Say it louder! BERELONZE!

Oh.
It's my secret language that means 'There is always a light!"

BERELONZE!

A Plain Book

2011-08-12T23:39:00.003+08:00

This is a book. A plain book. But, don't judge a book by its cover, hokayyy.

Because...

It can be a quote book.

Result keeping for research.

Data to be keyed in.

Kugha kugha.

Kartoooonisss.

Nota kaki.

Diari auww..!

Thesis References.

Drawing time!

Sad time!

Self motivation!

And ahaaa, pelepas rindu pada tulisan jawi!

So, don't judge a plain small book by its cover eh!

Addiction

2011-08-11T21:56:00.004+08:00

"Ayah, berhenti stesen minyak depan tu jap?"
"Kenapa?"
"Nak beli kopi,"

Wherever, whenever. Oh please, I need decaf coffee.

The Making of I Hope Handsome Guys Don't Like It!

2011-08-10T23:11:00.005+08:00

I swear the last kuih I'll make for the rest of my life is KARIPAP! And I hope all the handsome guys especially my future husband hates karipap. Well, not because of the taste, but because of the process like super duper difficult if need to compare to all the kuihs I've made.

First, you have to make the filling. You have to have the filling of course or else you should not call it as karipap. Karipap has filling okay, stop Huda! I don't have the problem to make the filling and yeay, it turned out nicely even at first I wondered why the potato cubes were still crunchy, and kept on adding cup after cup more water. ~~Eh, you eat them to try?~~

Poor me, I make everything half but miscalculated the amount of water! Sheit! Luckily, it was still okay!

Despite too many times I read the instruction, I still caught confuse and read and read and read and decided whatever it is, now it will be my way!

Ahaa, again, I make it perfect! The dough was good, nice, and smell very yummy. The smell of the perfect dough everrrrrr.

And the worst part forever is this.

Guna botol air je baiii~

Tempat uli aku tak jumpa. I forced myself to look whatever thing that flat and cylinder. And, I found this and HAHAHAHA. And first trial was mak aihhhh karipap ke plastesin?

Buruk gila sob sob sob seka air mata buat kuih hodoh.

Sebab acuan karipap hilang and aku rasa nak mengamuk cari tak jumpa so aku perasan yang huh, tangan aku sungguh bagus untuk menganyam mengelim.

So.. errr... first trial I was hoping straightawy all the handsome guys must hate karipap because it's ugly. Hahhaha. And my future husband too must hate karipap because that's the last kuih I want to do in my life!

Ugliesssss

See. It's ugly ugly ugly! I hate! Hahhahaha. So think fast! Hmm, sebab nak jugak biar sama size and nak canteeeekkkkk and kemas and look presentable, so inilah solusinya!

Mangkuk for the same size karipap.

And cut it for the perfect end!

Unluckily my karipap still ugly. Tsk tsk tsk. Tak puas hati. Bersugguh-sungguh buat. You know that I learn fast? Yeap, I catch up fast except for map reading and numbers. Huuuu.

And, yeay! I kelim karipap beautifully then!

Yeay!

Okay. Ignore the different sizes. It is really time consuming to use the mangkuk and cut and stuff. I need to catch up with the masa berbuka. Hahahhahah.

Betty and the Beast! Hehhee.

Don't doubt about the taste. As I said, it is excellent and deliciousssss. Mommy and daddy like it and I make extra frozen curry puff!

At least.
At least.
At least.

Daddy's karipap was UGLIER despite his comments and complaints to me.

HAHHAHAHAHAH!

Promise

2011-08-10T12:27:00.005+08:00

My mom and I make a wow, oh no, kind of promise that this Ramadhan we will never go to bazar. (Anyway, since I grow up I don't really believe in Bazar Ramadhan but being far from family, I have to). My mom is a teacher and unluckily she works the second session; in the evening thus creating a little hard situation here, to prepare the menu for breaking our fast.

And I am with my really big unlucky problem because I never can break my fast without at least a sweet kuih especially the one that made traditionally.

So how to keep the promise?

And now here is the solution. Ahaa. The good one. I'll ask my mom whatever shes's going to make for our foods. She will tell me what kind of fish, vegetables, different type of onions and other stuffs to be prepared! Oh no there's a lot of fish with different names and worst, I can't even differentiate them when my dad cut into slices and properly placed in the freezer!

Well, at least I'm getting better everyday, you know, practice makes better and now the Ramadhan already reached the tenth. So. I pratice for ten days already. Yeay for me!

Eleven a.m onward, I turn my online radio (that's bad) and searching recipes for my own-made-kueh wohoo! The only website I like is myresipi.com because when one person make a recipe and posted their successful desert or whatever, another person tried that, they'll post theirs too and all the nice comments will be there.

Yeay! You know, the more good comments posted means that you can believe the recipes and yeay again because mine turned out nicely everytime!

Hahahhaha.

Every problem comes with solution. Just you need to find it!

p/s: I know this problem is close to nothing but who cares? This is my problem, big problem, if I can't break fast without kuih! :'D

... [26]

2011-08-09T09:14:00.001+08:00

"You have the chance to hide your weakness, why you choose to show it off then?

I'm wondering.

... [25]

2011-08-08T18:07:00.003+08:00

Bila letak password nama secret admire sampai sekarang lekat, terus rasa comel nak gelak terbahak bahak hamprehhhh. And now wondering, macam manalah aku boleh minat mamat ni.

Oh sungguh manusia. Sifatnya berubah. Cinta jarang malar. Hari ini begitu, esok begini pula. Manipulasi. Maka, masih mahu lagi meletak harap, menyata setia pada manusia?

Oh tolong.

p/s: Sungguh malas nak review buku walau dah masuk buku ketiga. Letak gambar dengan I'll-tell-you-about-this-book-in-three-words, aci tak?

The 6th Day

2011-08-07T01:36:00.002+08:00

Yehaaaa. Ramadhan has reached its sixth. How fast the time flies. I hope, I can get the last ten days. You know, being a woman and the ABC (Allah Bagi Cuti) thing? I wish the last ten will be mine oh please.

What's so special about the sixth day?

Hehhehhee. I just followed the tadarus here. Okay, okay fine! That's not a big deal to you, but for me... it's a huge decision to do. To do something that I'm not used to. To get knowing the society where almost 10 years I had been in Kelantan. To be around with the makcik makcik that always.. "Anak Ustazah Nani eh?". "Anak Ustaz Kamal?". "Yang ni ke yang mengaji kat Kelantan?". "Eh, tak kerja ke hari ni?"

Oh no no mak cik. That's my sister. Not me. I'm jobless.

And.. you know people change every day, every minute? Every second?

So do I!

I love to cook now and getting excited to search new recipes everyday like whatttt? Hehehhe. hey, people change! And changing is gooooooooooooood. So gooooood. Errrr, so far it is. Anyway, it is only apply for the cooking thing. ONLY.

Babai.

.

2011-08-06T15:54:00.000+08:00

"Sampai masa tibanya waktu,

Redup hati kau berdua,

Bila dua jasad bersatu,

Hidup mati jadi bersama,"

~Hikaya Merong Mahawangsa

Next!

2011-08-04T23:48:00.003+08:00

Coming up next the five stars novel! Mucho mucho!